What are the traits you most admire in a partner ?
 

What traits do you admire/ want to see in a partner, lover or friend ?
Also what traits to you are a turn off ?

persnltys sesness of hummmr u need a 1 wi me u di

Admire:
their ability to leave peacefully without bringing their current partners or exes around

What do I look for in a woman???

Smart, educated, loving, sweet, fun, even tempered... loyal and see's us as a team....figuratively speaking has some balls and backbone.:biggrin:

Beautiful! Curvey! Sexy! Big brown eye's and dark hair.....

Oh wait....I married her!

Turnoffs??? Biggest one is being dumb and uneducated.......a beautiful girl who's dumb as a post might be okay for ...uh....an evenings entertainment so to speak....but no one i'd stay with.....

I admire strength and courage.

Strength: A person who knows what they want and goes after it with such fierce determination. Allowing nothing to stop them. They don't look around for others to blame for their failures. They pick themselves up and keep going.

Courage: "Yes, i am afraid. Yes, i feel hurt, vulnerable, and alone. Yes, i'm confused and need help." To me that is an example of courage. Allowing yourself to be open, vulnerable. Being honest with yourself and how you express it towards others.


Those are traits i admire but i'm not sure if those traits are really necessary for me in a partner. Perhaps one with whom we fill each others gaps. Someone who can put me in my place when i'm being reckless and childish with my life. While i help her to take more chances in life and explore the unknown.

What do I look for when interviewing a new, um, victim? applicant? (Aside from appreciating a copy of his latest bank statement?) :D

Likes:
Honesty, reliability, ready to meet his commitments, supportive nature,
good social graces, smart casual, generous smile, pleasant eyes,
an interest in the arts/music, creative, charitable,
openmindedness (he'll need that with me), enquiring, a happy drinker

Dislikes:
Preachy, Lecturing, self-centred, tied to social conditioning,
romantically pushy, beard and/or stubble-faced, confronter, mind-gamer,
obsessive, abrasive, obese, smelly, poor self-discipline, laziness.

For a possible partner. The interview could take a couple or three dates! :D It would have to develop into an easy friendship first and I'd have to like him.

Edit. In truth I think you just get a "feel" for people (in the mind, not a physical feel - at least, not on first meeting. LOL. Those days are over, shame but how it is!!) Just if you think you like someone, give him a chance.

^^ Latest bank statement sounds like a good idea. :D

I'll take the one who has little money (just enough to get by) yet seems to be living it up over the one who is rich yet spends almost nothing.

Dude you are describing a drone, LOL.... :biggrin: i.e. totally capable and independent and highly skilled etc but happily plays the supporting "man" or team subordinate.
That is hardly fair to any live flesh and blood woman :tongue:
If she's got all those contrasting traits, and good on her, then she's allowed to have her own mind and her own opinions and to disagree. And to slot you into the supporting role equally, in every way that counts. That's what the balls and backbone are for, else it's a waste of good steel ;)

Let me ask you this...if her figurative pair is probably bigger than yours and she decides a true partnership in her view might differ from the role you see her in, would you still be good with that? What is she is the stronger one, aside from physical strength, and she simply wants to relax and let her pair hang free? Do you still need her to be sweet and fun, or is it ok if she is just real, authentic, sincere, caring, deep, etc., and yes, STRONG...whilst also being even-tempered, smart, etc? :wink: Is that ok and are you good seeing and describing her in those terms? As she is at core, all physical appearances/vulnerabilities aside...or is that not quite the place you had in mind for her? Just asking as I'm not saying I know one way or the other what you'll say.

What I mean is, you can describe a person and who they are in many ways...and IMO the truest ones are the most universal...they are those qualities which you could and would immediately also apply to yourself. And which you would readily choose and prefer to have others use to describe you. Would you classify your own lighter side as sweet and fun and curvy, or would you perhaps say more like "strong but kind, discerning and caring, and [you'd leave curvy off, right?]"...etc.?

Just some food for thought...
Peace & blessings :hug3:
7L

turn-on...

-kind...above all, kind and patient...
-sensitive and perceptive of the pervasive discrimination and vulnerabilities that women and minorities of all kinds must deal with
-open-hearted yet discerning...
-has the capacity for authentic love...and the clear and open desire and ability to manifest it in ALL his relationships - fam, friends, partners, and strangers.
-emotionally generous...
-seeking, open-minded and tolerant of others...walking his path with intention and ownership
-a true gentleman, meaning gentle of heart and powerful of heart...
-NOT pushy physically, not insulting of my intelligence and my integrity
-immune to the politics of hatred and anything seeking to subvert democracy and the unique value of every being

turn-off...

-lacking the above positive traits....
-lacking the ability to see me first and foremost in the fullness of my humanity, as a person and as a beloved friend, equal in every way to himself except physical strength
-lacking the capacity or stamina to get to know and befriend a woman simply as she is before expecting & demanding full carnal knowledge, as if sex comes first or sex is all that we are valued for
-to restate the above, treating women like prostitutes, dehumanizing us and degrading us with these behaviours, assumptions, and perceptions


:hug3:

LOL!!!!
My wife is all of those things and then some! But a drone??? no way!!! and her pair is figuratively speaking....occasionally bigger than mine...... and she definitely has her own opinions and will disagree when she sees fit to do so

Me??? I can be sweet and kind....but no one who knows us would say I'm as sweet and kind as my wife is.....not even close.....

Curvy? No one would say that about me!
My wife on the other hand is nicely curvy!!!

The fact is that after my failed first marriage..... I did in fact think long and hard about what kind of woman I wanted to be with..... I found her and after more than 25 years I can say that we are well matched and very good together!