Was I really better off as a female!?
 

I think being a boy might be the direct cause of my Autism! I'm not for sure, I mean only God knows. But I will say this; I'm getting really sick and tired of everyone treating me like garbage on the internet. They say to me "You're the childish one, not me" and I feel like slapping them in the face for it. Seriously, what has happened to our world!? I really wish I was born, way before the internet came along and destroyed our society! I'd rather deal with the stuff that happened in the mid 20th century than this stupid internet nonsense!

Having said that, I cannot get over some of the feminine stuff that plagues me. Now, I don't hate being a boy. But sometimes I wonder if I was born with the wrong gender or maybe I was supposed to have a "twin sister". Remember I mentioned her. I don't think it's the fact that I'm a male that ruined my life. I bet if I had a twin sister, this would've fixed about 50% of my problems! Maybe not the Autism, but defiantly the gender stuff! Which brings me to my next question; if I reincarnate back into 1988 as my twin sister, will I still have Autism? Her brother (that's me, not referring to my older sister from this reality) got it in this reality and that trait would most like carry over to the next reality, except I would no longer posses the current body vessel from this reality. So would the sister not have autism, while the brother does, or would we both have it?

Have you watched Woody Allen's "Midnight in Paris"? One idea discussed there is that as we dream of a past "golden era", those living during that era were unhappy too, and were dreaming about another past 'golden era'. And this propagates back, from past era to past era.

I believe that the internet is an amazing tool, but you have to use it skilfully not to hurt yourself. Same with other great discoveries and inventions: the fire, the electricity, and many others come to mind.

You shouldn't disclose on the internet more than is in your own interest, and be aware that out there there is a full range of characters.

You don't have to interact with those that make you uncomfortable. Ignore them!

The more thought and emotion we put into something, the more of the same, or similar, pops up in our lives.

It's no longer just cyberbullying and trolling at this point. These jerks are trying to go out of their way to make me look like a bad, unlikable person and I'm really sick and tired of it. It's like everyone gets so offended easily, so they blame me and that's just wrong! What do I do? No wonder I hate my life and regret living a life as a boy with Autism, knowing as a girl, I would very unlikely get it and my life would've not been this bad! I swear, I could show you what those jerks are saying to me on Disqus, but I don't want to get into any trouble for breaking any rules!

Yes, I rented and saw Midnight in Paris, about 3 or 4 months ago! Great movie! I actually like it better than Somewhere in Time, dare I say!

Just stay off the internet. I'm serious. You are choosing to be on the internet, so make a different decision and choose NOT to be on the internet. If you had said, "I wish the internet was different" then there would be nothing you could do about it. But you are saying, "I wish the internet never existed". That you can make happen, just stop using it. Poof, no more internet.

I'm wording it like that because people sometimes don't understand that what they do, think and believe, are all just choices they freely choose for themselves. A typical example, you see it all the time with friends/relationships: Someone wil angrily say, "S/he made me feel this way!" No. That's impossible. Another human being cannot make you feel that way, cannot make you feel angry. You freely CHOOSE to feel that way. You choose to react with anger. You could also react with laughter, that's another choice.

If people are speaking poorly of you online, and if it makes you feel angry, sad, etc., that is you CHOOSING to feel that way. They are not making you feel that way, all they are doing is speaking/typing words. You can also choose to just let it go, and react to them with a shrug of the shoulders, or with laughter. And as I said you can also choose to simply stay off the internet, period. And no amount of wishing will bring back the 60s/70s (too bad), so just let that go as well. Or, if you really want the 70s back, throw your cellphone away as well. Then when you want to speak to someone, you'll have to go find a phone booth (good luck) or drive over to their house.

You seem to be resisting the reality of your life. This can only lead to suffering. You tell yourself a story about how things might have been different if you had been born at a different period or if you had been born into a different body. Perhaps things would have been different, but the reality is that you are alive now in your current body. What you do with this reality is up to you.

So why not let go of all your stories and embrace what you are now? Perhaps this is exactly the life that your Soul chose to experience.

Peace.

never mind.

Then maybe God should've put me in like 1948, instead of 1988, if he knew that everyone on the internet was going to treat me with such disrespect! Theoretically it would be 1978, like I mentioned in an earlier post.

You haven't once mentioned anything in these posts that you identify as your fault. Now it's God doing things to you and making you feel that way, and not just people on the internet.

You blame a lot of things and take no personal responsibility for any of it. That's the actual problem here, as much as you don't want to hear it and are trying to avoid discussing.

How? How exactly am I?

You seem to be sincerely asking, that's a very positive first step.

It's this simple: If you are angry, that is YOUR ISSUE, and nobody else's. You cannot blame someone for making you angry. You must take personal responsibility for feeling that way. In this case, you CHOSE to be angry with these people.

You could also choose to laugh at people who try to hurt you (that's what I usually do). You can also choose to love them in their ignorance (I'm not so good at that). You can also choose to forgive them for their cruelty (I don't do that much, I find it very hard to forgive). These are all choices. And you are responsible for choosing how you react.

I laugh at people like that, then forget about them and move on. If I find myself dwelling on it, and if I feel angry about it, I know that's my fault. And I take responsibility for my anger, and just let it go.