Lost my best friend
 

Hi everyone, My best friend Ryan took his own life on the 3rd of April and on the 4th may I went to his funeral and now I wished I could speak to him as I miss talking to him and video chatting with him!

I want my best friend back

I wished I could turn back time to see him and talk him out of suicide :icon_frown:

Hello,

I lost my best friend to cancer when we were only 10 & 11 yrs old. I know the pain amd shock. I don't have anything to really say that is going to help you jump from this grief to acceptance, or make it any better. It is a spiritual process.

I do know that loved ones can, and will send you signs, dreams, songs, ect, once they are okay with their passing. It's hard sometimes to understand those messages or feel them when we are grieving, or upset.

I promise you this, it is real.

I learned about a young dead uncle who died when he was only 21 years old through dreams. He kept coming to me...he died 10 years before I was born. I became estranged from my mother after my parents divorce when I was around 6. I never even heard of the guy as he was from my moms side and they lived several states away. We didn't talk, no phone calls, visits, ect. It took me a few years to find out who he was. He gave me signs....in one dream I asked him who he was. (The whole story is posted on this board) and he held up a flashing neon yellow sign that just read "1968"

My great grandfather also came to me ththe night he died...he is also from my moms side, and I hadn't been around him since I was a small kid...about 25 years.

A farmer in our town came to me 3 days after he died. I learned he died because he sitting on my bed one morning talking to me when I first woke up...I rubbed my eyeyes s and he was gone. Later that day, I found out for the first time that he had cancer and died 3 days before.

There's many more stories.

There is life after death, we are not crazy...most of us who have seen or have these experiences are normal. I am married, two great kids, and I'm a manager at my current job. I have no mental health history, although I do have depression and anxiety from time to time...but I think that's fairly normal for most people anymore.

I think these abilities run in families, but Inalso had a NDE in my 20s...and these abilities started up full force after that( I did have them as a kid, (but they seem to have went doormat until my NDE)

My advice, is to let you grieve...go through your emotions, but don't lose your faith in the afterlife, or what's ahead. I believe suicides get help on the other side, eventually...when they are ready. I do believe in reincarnation because of my own experiences. I was shown a past life through dreams in which I committed suicide...and had children. One of the children showed up in a picture with my children in this life on Easter holiday, next to the fireplace.

Pray for him, talk to him, tell him how much you love him. They can hear you.
Tell him everything you want to say. It's a lot easier for them to come through in dreams, because we are rested and not occupied with other things...but they can in many ways....I've had full apparitions while awake.

I will say a prayer for Ryan as well...I hope that he is finding peace on his journey....and I hope that you can find peace eventually on yours. You will always miss him...but he might just be the one who greets you happily when it's your time to go back home. Right now, just talk to him as you always have...and even ask for signs or dreams. When he is ready, he will come through. For many people, it's a few months or years before they send signs....it just depends on his progress over there. Right now, he might have some healing to do.

I am also very sensitive to energy....I can feel departed people who come around me. I felt my grandmother in law around me a whole day, after her funeral....which I didn't get to attend. She was always buzzing with excitement, and that's exactly what I felt that day as I talked and prayed for her. I have also prayed for people who have passed on...for the elevation of their soul, thoughts, feelings, and well being. Sometimes I get a sinking feeling if they haven't crossed over well, sometimes I get a light feeling, sometimes a very low level energy, and sometimes I get a warm friendly feeling.

Update;

Suicides always touch my heart....and so I prayed for Ryan right away..connecting with him through his first name, April 3rd, and your username...

As I prayed for Ryan, I got a warm loving feeling...like he was taken care of when he crossed over. I get the feeling that he has people over there that love him very much..and he made it. Something about his funeral, helped him move on. I think he was pleased with it, and with the people who showed up....he felt loved by all of you. I saw what looked like about 3 or so women up at his coffin together, who he really felt loved by. My whole left side was very warm, and very loving....especially around my heart, shoulder, and left side. It's gone now...that is a clear indication to me, that he made it. (did some people wear white to his funeral)This is a very loving person. (I don't always get that with people who commit suicide) Some of the people who have committed suicide are not as open....but I clearly felt it, very warm, friendly, loving energy. I believe your friend really is at peace. His energy felt very friendly, courteous, warm, and a neat light-hearted kind of guy....but a bit self contained, or even quiet, and deep thinker.

Like he just stopped in to say thank you for praying for me, I'm okay....and then left.

There are many gifted people here if you need to talk....God bless.

condolences Jadesamson123.

I'm sorry to hear that! :hug2:

Have you tried talking to him as if he's physically still there? I think it would give you some relief from the sorrow you feel and he will be around and appreciate it too. And who knows, maybe he'll send you a sign of some sort, to let you know he's still there. He probably also misses talking to you!

Edit: such a beautiful and heartwarming post by Colorado! I read it only after I posted mine.

I don't know how to speak to the dead tho Tomma.

Colorado thanks for the speech!

the idea is that he still exists Jadesamson123.
although no longer in physical form, the energy which composes
his identity remains in existence, on some spiritual plane.
all you need do is evoke his memory within your mind, and speak
as if he were present with you.

Your friend knows you miss him and he is sorry for that, but he is in a better place now.suicide leaves you with many questions could you have prevented it etc, but the answer is no. nobody knows what state his mind was in at the time.grieve for your friend and in time you will see signs that he is around you.
its early days yet and everything feels raw.


Namaste

As someone who also lost a good friend very recently, you have my condelences.

The sad thing is very few people who commit suicide recognize the impact it will have on others around them--even the most friendless jerkoff in the world would be mourned by someone, even if only in passing.

I'm sorry you had to go through this--it's posts like this that help keep me from going off on that deep end.

I sincerely wish you the best.

-Trinity

Most time the person contemplating suicide isn't in their right mind or they would never consider committing suicide. The emotional pain is so great their peripheral vision (acknowledging the hurt it would cause others) is not functioning.

Sorry to hear about your friend. For me personally grief is one of the worst things I think you can endure emotionally in life. Linen53 I liken suicide to the despair is too much to bear for the person.

I commit suicide in an earlier lifetime. I was thinking only of the pain I was going through. There was no judgement on the other side other than me judging myself. I was so disappointed in myself.

I left a sister behind in that life. It felt more like abandonment to her. She is my daughter in this life and there is much anger towards me that I am having to endure from her.

Linen :hug:...Wishing you love and healing and reconciliation with your daughter...and sooner rather than later. Though I understand these other-life issues are deep, I also know they linger within till there is a mutuality of love and reconciliation...and you carry that as best you can till it's taken to a new place.

Much love and light to you :hug3:
7L

Beautifully said NativeSpirit.

Jade :hug: ...I am so sorry for your loss. My heart is with you.
Send your love, your heart, and your thoughts to your friend...he CAN still receive them, even when you are in a place of deep pain.

Be tender with yourself.

Peace & blessings, and much love & light :hug3:
7L

Thank you 7luminaries. I have reconciled to the situation. She needs to go through her range of emotions. I cannot be around her in this lifetime anymore, her rage is so overwhelming.

When we both get to the other side and she is willing to talk, I will be there.

Linen, that sounds like a plan...I'm rooting for you :hug3:

If she's lucky and if she's able, her heart may expand and open sooner...it's why we're here.

Otherwise, well met on the other side :hug:

Peace & blessings :hug3:
7L

It wasn't a speech, Jade....it's the truth as I witnessed it first hand. I'm sorry you are going through a hard time. Maybe in time, you will heal from your grief, and have your own experiences. God bless.

That's true, suicide is so heartbreaking. You wonder if somebody just reached out, or gave a hug, or was just there to talk and be a friend...if it would've happened.

I think there has to be forgiveness on all sides. There are no winners..everybody loses. But, you can't really hate someone who isn't thinking straight, and who is in emotional and mental pain like that. I've learned a lot from being a parent, amd I treat people the way I would if it were one of my own two children suffering...with compassion and love.

I also had a past life of committing suicide, it was shown to me through dreams...I think I told you about it on here already.

I'm sorry your daughter is still so angry, maybe one day she will wake up and let it go. She may realize life is short, the older she gets. I've forgiven a lot of my family....even though I can't be around some of them anymore.

I am sorry that you are suffering from the loss of your friend. I wish I had words to sooth you. Sometimes we need to devote ourselves to a loss in order to adjust to it. I know there have been times when I would rather people leave me be and not distract me from it. To do so sometimes seems to take you away from the connection you still feel with that loved one.

The only thing I can think of to share with you is that there are many ways to reconnect with those who have passed over.

When my mother died I was sitting on my bed in my room and I felt her stronger than when she was alive. Maybe she had felt that strong when I was a little kid but I was not aware then so it would not be significant and just normal and what I felt everyday. We were more distant later in her life so the contrast was remarkable. It was unmistakably her. She has since returned a few times but it has not been as intense. I am pretty certain that she was initially so strong because her energy was still contained and she was just recently freed from her body. As time passes they adjust to existence beyond this plane.

My mother wanted more of a spiritual element in her life but it was blocked from her somehow. My wife was a channel. She was unique in that she could channel an indefinite number of beings. If she felt comfortable with you and your guides she could channel your guides. So she would do readings and a client would be able to have a discussion with their guide using her body. When my mother passed away my mother said she was enjoying the access/opening up of the spiritual realm. My mother said she had always wanted it but it was never available to her in her life.

When my father died I did not feel anything of his being in passing. However later on when I was putting together his funeral program and looking at scanned pictures on my computer display I felt in touch with him. He was in the Marines. Imagining his life experiences lead me to read many books on military life. He was not a spiritual man. (My wife had passed away by the time my father died so she was not around for an opportunity to speak with my father after his passing).

My friend Kenny was napping on the couch and his friend who had passed away whispered "Hey Ken" to him and he woke up.

Periodically I feel my late sister comes to me at night. I have awoken many times either during the night or in the morning knowing she has come. She also died after my wife was gone. I was close to my sister and still feel the void. It comes and goes. But I find myself thinking to call her and realize no one has ever been able to fill the hole she left.

My wife was very tapped in to higher levels and I have felt she has had more important things to move onto than hang around here. She worked very very hard for her guides. I don't think she misses it here at all. Only recently have I reached out to her. She responded immediately.

I have never liked the idea that time has a way of healing a loss. I don't want to stop feeling people I love whether it is a death or a breakup from a mate. But we are still alive and time passes and does heal. It is the natural thing taking place.

You have been a good friend. Be kind to yourself.

I realize that some of us are a tad bit overwhelming, especially to a newcomer....who is looking for something. But we are on a spiritual board...amd many of us have had spiritual experiences that we want to share, and hopefully give some hope and a different perception on. Not everybody is ready or wants to hear it. I still have compassion and understanding for others and their experiences of where they are spiritually. I apologize if I said too much, Jade. I just wanted you to see that death isn't the end...although logically amd practically, it seems that way. It's really not...and we are not limited to what we see, or think....we can and are much more than what we see. If we can open up, much more can and will be revealed through our desire and ability to see much more than what is physically presented in front of us.

Life and death are revolving doors with many passages....and many, many emotions that open up more doors.

I see that you have not been back, perhaps expecting to see some alpha shark behavior or attacking defensive behavior. but that is not my intention or desire to defend myself, nor attack. You are allowed like any of us to share and write about your grief, hurt, happiness, hopes, ect here. Just take with you what you are ready for, and let go at this time...what you aren't. And that really is my advice to all...it's what I would do, as well.

How very true. Our family in general has fallen apart because of the dysfunction many years ago. But I don't consider this incarnation as fact, written in stone. This is the transition. What happens after we move on from this lifetime is what counts.

Dear Jade,

please accept my condolences for your loss. I can only imagine the pain you're experiencing right now. I hope that your friend has finally found a measure of peace that he could not find in life. If it's any consolation the other side is a place where we are with God, bathed in his love.

Your friend is sorry that his death has brought you tremendous pain and guilt, but please understand he wouldn't want you to blame yourself for not being able to prevent it. He knows how you felt about him, and he wants to thank you for your friendship. You two will always be friends. Even though it will feel like there is a great distance between the two of you, but he will always be by your side and send you reminders that he is here.

When we die, only our bodies die. Our spirit remains and returns to the source. Hence Ryan isn't truly dead, he is alive but in a different place. But even though I'm writing this, I know this won't take away your pain.

We who survive our loved ones passing have to pick up the pieces and find the will to carry on. But remember that carrying on isn't moving on. We can't move on from the loss. We instead grow in love and our hearts will grow to encompass new people and adventures in our life while bringing the ones we miss with us every step of the way. The heart can only grow to love more than it could before.

Give yourself time to grieve, and when you feel ready speak to a medium to connect with your friend. Ryan will probably be waiting to speak to you and tell you how much he cherishes and loves you. He will also say that he is happy now, and in a better place. And he will visit you in a dream or send you signs to remind you that he is here. When he does, you will see that he is the best version of himself, and you will know too that there is life after death. And friendships last for eternity.

Sincerely

sf.