Fear of realizing the TRUTH, the SELF.
 

After having to experience the surge of energy blasting through the base of my spine, i went through a whole lot of process in which i cleared out my fears, suppressed anger and other emotions and after 6 months or so, I kind of settled with the new reality and life came back to track.

I still feel i am in a process and i feel the energy moving inside my body as soon as i am relaxed on mental level.

Currently, I have hit another obstacle, which i never thought would be. I FEAR enlightenment. Yes, i am fearing to experience the divine, the self.

Guys, i know this is ego shouting and it will do everything to protect itself. I know that there is so much love on the other side as i have had glimpses of that and i never thought i would fear the divine.

This fear is of surrender, this fear is of letting go. The experiences i have in my daily-life, make me feel that this fear is the only obstacle, this surrender is the only thing i have to do and the truth will shine. I feel like the curtain of Illusion(MAYA) will soon be removed and i am fearing that. I think i will lose myself, might die.

I know guys that this is not true, fear can never be true. But

Has anyone experienced this fear of surrender like this. Like after coming a long way, you hit this fear which you never thought of and then finally surrendering ?

Surrender to the void, jump into nothingness or say Taking the leap


This is after having the initial joyful ride of meditation. So i am expecting some experienced answers. They will relate it to it automatically.

Your fear is understandable and relate-able. No, i haven't fully surrendered. There is still much i cling to.

Fear is all about what might happen; it is about what's next. The best way I know to conquor fear is to be steadfast anchored in the moment,
very quiet inside, and not entertaining any thoughts.

I had my first out-of-body experience many decades ago and I freaked out big time; because it happened suddenly without warning and my
mind was not ready for it. I was thrown into and incredibly beautiful environment where everything was in harmony except me.

I was pretty quickly put back into my physical body, and I got up from where I was meditating and ran outside, trying to get away from the
experience. But that was completely stupid. The experience was with me and I could not run from it.

Over time nurturing inner silence helped me stay calmly in the moment and it diminished any fear I had. Fear can not exist in the here and now,
it only exists in our thoughts about the past or future. Quiet your thoughts, nurture inner silence, and center your feelings and there most likely
will be no fear. It's really all about trust.

This is a great advice. I have been trying this since yesterday. To be alert in the moment. And that helps. But i just started doing that.

Whoever wrote that or said that must have been trying to convince themselves or others that there is nothing to fear while being full of fear themselves. Otherwise, it should be rewritten: "There is nothing to fear including fear itself."

If you believe in the former then you might as well believe that there is nothing to be sad about but sadness itself. There is nothing to be angry about but anger itself.

This reminds of ...

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🙏🏼🙏🏼

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I can relate but being in a kind of different situation. I was not just like you, but kind of like you except the opposite kind of you.

Many times I just wanted to die, and my fear was that I would live. My ultimate fear came to be true, I would live!! but it was never what I had feared in the beginning. I did have to live, but life was actually kind of amazing and not anything I had in mind when I was fearing it the entire time.

Maybe it is like that for you too. Maybe your fear is true too, but not in the way that you feared most. Chances are your greatest fear, when you do face it, will be laughable and you'll pass them going "what was I ever afraid of in the first place anyways?!".

Maybe you will have to die, but it will totally be the opposite of what you expect. In my experience, that is pretty much how fear goes. You spend this whole time being afraid of something, but then eventually you face it and it's like 1/50th as bad as you originally thought. Still sucky, perhaps even poopy, but absolutely nowhere near as bad has it was in your mind.

Just a couple of suggestions in general, I don't know if you may find them helpful or not:

Think in terms of 'allow' instead of 'surrender' --I mean this for the long run, not just in the short run

Think in terms of erosion and renewal :smile:

And one last thought for the road:

You can't do things in any order other than the one you are going to do them in. That's divine.

Congratulations on your beautiful energy awakening, btw. :smile: