Wanted to share this wise quote about love
 

The capacity to be alone is the capacity to love. It may look paradoxical to you,but it is not. It is an existential truth

Only those people who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharing, of going into the deepest core of another person - without possessing the other, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a thing, and without becoming addicted to the other.

They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other.
~Osho

This is the embodiment of why i feel its so important to love yourself. when another loves you and makes you feel good. You're choose to react to it and feel good because of their actions. But if you break it down its still an emotion caused by how you perceived the other. so in essence the "love" you think is coming from another is really a result of your own perception.

This is a very prominent/notable quote. I do have to say as a side note however, its not the easiest quote to digest if you have not done the inner work or self development that is needed to achieve this level of awareness. I remember reading this same quote a few years ago pre divorce and during the height of a spiritual awakening, and I couldn't identify with the quote at all because I had a lot of emotional blockages and conditioned patterns I needed to learn to dismantle including co dependency patterns; all not uncommon with couples in long term relationships. The way I see it, I think we are all on different learning curves, and at different levels of awareness,however, I trust if we do the inner work, this idea Osho expressed is very much achievable, this includes allowing ourselves to feel deep emotional wounds, including the not so happy ugly emotions so we can transmute them..


Personally, I like the sassy version by Abraham Hicks ( cant help it she rocks with our woman audiences)

Tell everyone you know: “My happiness depends on me, so you’re off the hook.” And then demonstrate it. Be happy, no matter what they’re doing. Practice feeling good, no matter what. And before you know it, you will not give anyone else responsibility for the way you feel — and then, you’ll love them all.(Abraham/Hicks)

Yes, I know she is no Osho ;D Just adding additional positive content to the thread topic.

Thank you I've never read that before! And I appreciate your view I wasn't even thinking about it like that. But I completely agree. I was just blown away because I've been saying this same thing to others for a while now just not as nicely and quick. I'm definitely going to start reading Abraham.

Read this quote when i first made this post and loved it. but reading now, it almost if you knew this would resonate more now then the day you posted.

Very wise person you are Clover! :hug3:


Came to add this...

To complain is always nonacceptance of what is.
It invariably carries an unconscious negative charge.
When you complain, you make yourself into a victim.
When you speak out, you are in your power.
So change the situation by taking action or by speaking out if necessary or possible;
leave the situation or accept it. All else is madness.

Eckhart Tolle

Read Abraham with the understanding that they are likely drawing from modern science! I don't believe for a moment that their information is channeled! I've been reading a great deal in regards to recent findings, via the neural sciences of late, and have been paying close attention to the 'dates' of each publication. When I studied Abraham for a couple of weeks (videos and books) I was noticing that the "channeled" information seemed to actively mirror the most latest scientific studies, as the information was being uncovered. It loudly appeared to me that they were using science as a method for simulating other worldly content. I drew numerous outer conclusions about the business they are running, few of which are complimentary in regards to their assertions. I like that they are helping to broadcast some of the scientific realizations that are important to know, only, you can get the same information (in more concise and more naturally derived) if you invest time with the more terrestrial version of essentially the "same" information!

As to being alone you have no other option. When we think we're connecting with another we are stuck with the process of only projecting our own perceptions. You are alone, there is no other way of experiencing our current physical situation with any clarity. People may be similar in terms of believing similar things, or expecting results that are similar to our own, but there is no way you'll ever experience their lives the way they do.. nor would they be able to blend seamlessly with your own.

While physical, we are isolated to our own personal experience. We may 'align' with another, but never enter into anothers mindset as-a-parallel-experience.

It sounds like the quote is saying that you shouldn't enjoy other people's company because you are complete on your own.

We are social creatures, we enjoy spending time with other people and that's okay. We also need other people every now and then also, and that's okay too.

@Badcopyink, Sorry I missed your quote there and thank you, I was in a co dependent marriage for ten years, I think I learned a thing or two. :biggrin: I am still a work in progress.
Eric Tolle, like Abraham always has good pedigree doesn't he? Changing the thought, momentum in 'positive' vibration, almost all the same ...Vid link. Although, Tolle does a great job getting in depth with deeper topics like the conditioned mind

@Tuesday, it seems that way. I mentioned earlier, it really is not the easiest quote to digest, especially if one has not done the 'inner work' (and that varies from person to person, we are all at different levels of awareness). The quote is aimed at self love. I am a very social person and I love my family very much (extended family) but my emotions are not dependent on them, I am my own sovereign individual, on my own individual soul path. Self accountability is all as many of us are taught from a very young age of seeking something external to 'save' or make us 'happy'.

@Organic Born, totally agree. I always found Abraham speeches influenced by Eastern philosophies, Tolle or scientist like Tesla. They all ring the same almost. For me personally, whether her message is channeled or not, it doesn't really matter.. I can appreciate a positive uplifting message aimed to work with a persons self development, accelerating a person forwards . I am not a die hard fan to go further into her study, but I do love her quotes a great deal. Nice catchy feel good one liner quotes, haha

The "I've done more inner work than you"- card does tell a lot about a person.

"They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leaves, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the other, because it is not given by the other. "

Of course you should allow the other person absolute freedom. BUT if my friend for some reason leaves me, I will become sad for a while. I think we need both the emotional freedom, and also the material goods that are given us. Yeah, if you're lucky, you could be happy dying in a gutter somewhere without friends or family, but most of us would be quite miserable. We live in a material world, and we need materia. If we didn't, we wouldn't be humans.

Your reaction and thoughts to your friends presence caused you to feel happy that they were there. They distracted you from yourself which causes presence.
You associate this with love. You also think they have caused this. When really it was your perception and thoughts that caused this. This is why osho says love cannot be given.

When they leave, you could also feel the same love you did in their presence after they're gone by way of thought. Or you can feel sad by way of thinking there is something missing. by focusing on them leaving and missing them you're taking yourself away from presence and dragging past experiences into future worry. Allowing yourself to convince you that you're lacking something that you had available prior to their arrival or departure.

And the inner work comment. If you scroll up clover states viewing the quote from both sides before inner work was done and after it was done.

I will venture on to add that I didn't read the osho quote prior but did read others about LOA and religion and thought anyone saying being whole and loving myself was a loon. Until I started doing my own inner work. And noticed how I find less fault in anyone and everything and I find more love in everyone and on everything as a result. Making me capable of not needing another's love. Keyword capable I still fall into old habits and go through emotions as I am always growing and learning.

This is really interesting I can definitely see both sides here, yes you do need to love yourself to be able to love another but there is also truth in what Tuesday is saying.

Sometimes we go through some really bad times in life, without someone there who truly loves you and shows compassion things could become really bad. If you are in a healthy and loving relationship then there is nothing bad about this, we all need a little help sometimes.

The problem stems from when we are completely attached and dependant on another, we control and possess rather than accept and encourage.

If we go down the route of being so involved in our own selves and detached from the other then it would also be impossible to have a positive relationship with another.

I see my relationship as a partnership between two individuals. Yes there are times we don't agree but we talk and compromise.