Chemistry or love but not both?
 

Hello :)

To those of you with direct experience - what do you think of chemistry (think of two magnets attracting) between two people?

A friend of mine said that "love and chemistry are sometimes very different things."

I recently met a man, who - on the first day we met - I clearly have chemistry with. And he has it with me. We've discussed it numerous times. It is as evident to us as the sky over our heads. So we have this intense pull or attraction toward one another - yet things are also very stressful. And not in a good way. We've both gotten physically sick as a result of the pressure or tension this is causing us. Neither of us has ever experienced anything like it (and we've both been married twice!).

What do you think chemistry might be for if not to love one another like my friend suggested above? I'm not sure what to do with it. This is new.

I've recently been introduced to someone just like what you described above.

I recognized the pull. had a billion signs and synch's pointing to the fact that i was supposed to be around her and her me. She was incredibly and still is unhealthy for me and herself. The more i was around her the more i absorbed her bad qualities and the more she absorbed my good qualities. I started to become more irritable. starting viewing fault in the people around me and what needed fixing in them opposed to finding the beauty in them. i started doubting myself. even regressed on will power over addictions that i had kicked started smoking again and even ate a few meals that had meat in them. all the while i watched as it all took place and recognized a majority of it. just looking for the reason as to why i would have been urged to be around someone i knew was no good for me from day one.

In the end i can say i moved into my heart from the experience and she revealed a lot of things in myself that i wasn't aware of needing healing. The biggest lesson i learned from her for me personally is knowing when to let go of things when the time is right.

I've also experienced this from another person this year. The connection was amazing but in both cases it was interpreted as love on my end. a mixture of what i was receiving from the emotions they were not in touch with and my excitement of the connection. In the end in both scenarios both individuals were not in touch with self enough to do anything with it i had to learn to let go of trying to make them aware of self and of self love.

In short i believe that the chemistry and love are two separate things of the same source but what really matters is how each individual perceives it. Only thing i would have done differently in both situations is to pay more attention to myself and less attention to them in a way. When i lose self focus I'm less able to help anyone let alone keep myself healthy.

Wow. I can not tell you how helpful your entire post is. Just - wow.

Thank you.

It is so frustratingly hard and challenging to see things objectively when in the center of them. Ugh. High five, BCI!

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You're welcome! And high five back at you!
I'm glad my ramblings of craziness have helped you!

'Chemistry' scares the heck out of me....
.....its all chemistry, hormones and pheromones and one can't even think straight and may make life altering decision that they come to regret because they were under the influence of self-made chemicals.

If I'm gonna partner up with someone I want to be in my 'right mind' - line up all the dots, cross the T's and dot the i's, not swirling off in some out of control chemical reaction and energetic reaction which likely has more to do with my remaining or unresolved shadow issues than with anything secure for building a relationship on and mutual love.