Spiritual Forums - i need help x

It sounds like what others have told you is true, based on the fact you can feel yourself as a healer. I agree with what Vespa86 says here:

Quote:

Originally Posted by vespa86

However you can try using your hands on yourself to raise your own consciousness and heal yourself. A true healer needs to be healed themselves which you rarely see. About healing others, its the intention from you heart that counts. You wont harm anyone that way.

I recommend you do two things first; establish a connection with the energy you're using to heal, and learn shielding. You mentioned that you take away others' pain, and that tells me you're either not experienced with shielding or don't have a whole lot of it. It is important to do when you begin to consciously help others heal, to prevent their pains from building up in you. It is something I am now learning, after spending a very long time being vulnerable. It will also help you help others more easily; the idea that if you are a cup, and others' pain is water, it is very hard to receive the water if you're already full.

For shielding, it is as simple as asking a guide, higher power, or the universe in general to shield you in light. The request alone is sufficient; it is granted whether or not you feel it, and this method has never failed me while others have. If you are having trouble feeling the protection, such as if you're near someone who is giving off a lot of negativity, you can ask the guide/power/universe to give you a second layer of blue. That usually is sufficient for me. Practice it whenever you remember; it is helpful to do it before you interact with others, and ideally as soon as you wake up. If you have trouble remembering, you can put a reminder note on a bottle of vitamins, medication, or whatever else you take daily in the morning.

In regard to building up feeling the healing energy, that usually takes time. I have had a couple Reiki attunements, and I would be untruthful if I said I always feel the energy all the time when I use it. It is important to establish this connection with yourself first since whether or not a "patient" is receptive to the energy will make a difference on how easily it transfers. As opposed to you, who will be consistently receptive to it. What I would suggest is this; place your hands an inch or so above a place on your body. This could either be a spot that hurts or just one that is sensitive. Visualize healing energy being drawn from your hands into your body. Try out a couple different visualizations until you find something that seems right; for example, you can imagine the energy as a gentle summer breeze coming to clear out stagnation, or cooling river water carrying away mud, or simply crisp white light - the kind that sparkles rainbow when it touches a dewdrop - clearing out the shadows. You may be able to feel the energy anywhere on your hands; the palms, the finger pads, or maybe only in one finger. It can feel like a warmth - like you're putting your hand on the outside of a cup of tea - or it can feel sort of tingly like if you've ever held a phone on a vibrating setting. Don't worry if you don't feel it in your hands; it took me a while to tune in. You may also feel it in your body in addition to or instead of your hands. It can manifest as the warmth or the tingly feeling, and it can also feel like the "butterflies in your stomach" feeling. When I do a self-healing, I usually notice it more in the body area being healed than I do in my hands.

It is also important that you know how to clear out others' energy from yourself, especially once you start practicing on others. That will also take some trial-and-error of using different cleansing techniques. Fortunately you can use your gift here as well, and imagine your healing energy clearing out the pain of others. I recommend you use a technique that lets the others' energy in you go to the Earth. For example, start by visualizing the others' energy stored in your body going down to the Earth. As it leaves, say to it: "I let you go with love, please go somewhere to heal". It has been my experience that this allows the energy to go more easily and thoroughly, since it is the pain of others you are releasing in a manner that is compassionate and resonates back to them.

In regard to you placing your hand over your partners' heart; it is possible you stirred up emotions, both positive and negative. The heart is the center of emotions, and any energy added can sort of temporarily supercharge anything that is being stored. She may have had some pains in there that were very strong, especially if there is any history of depression. Many people "bottle up" their emotions, especially ones they feel are unsafe to express like anger and sadness. The fact you intended to help her did not cause her any harm. It can seem that way when emotions surface for healing: people often feel very sad and cry when they are healing their sorrows. It is why people who repress their sadness feel so much relief and peace after they cry. While your intention to heal was good, I recommend you save helping hearts heal for later since - as you saw - the healing process for them can be tricky. Emotions are potent things, and can manifest unexpectedly. Many people are uncomfortable being so vulnerable with others as to allow their hearts to be open for healing.

Whichever route you choose, I implore you to follow them based on whether or not your heart resonates with it. You may find one of those methods helpful, or perhaps something else entirely comes up. You may find your healing is catalyzed through crystals, or shamanism, or asking faeries, or working with plant spirits. Maybe all of them at different points in your life. Either way, you will inevitably find what does and doesn't work for you. Right now, you can liken yourself to standing lost in a forest. Your eyes can't see which way to take, but your heart and spirit know where the footpath hidden beneath the brush is. As you trust their gentle tugging, you will learn to spot it.