Healing a Broken Heart
 

It's almost been two months since my ex broke up with me. We were together 7 years. I've known her for more than 18 years. She was my childhood sweetheart. I was 8 when I met her. Unfortunately, I'm stuck living with her till I find a place of my own.

I signed on FB quickly, and discovered she's already in a relationship with someone. My heart shattered instantly. I'm still trying to get over things, and she's already moved on. It's as if I never existed.

How do I heal from this?

Hello Crowzie. Some of us hereabout have offered thoughts on this subject in a thread on "The Sanctuary" section of this forum. I think I speak for others in saying we hope you may find some help and support in our collective thoughts. Good wishes. petex

Her decision to enter a new relationship should have no value on your self worth. The two aren't linked. You are vulnerable and upset, hence feeling inadequate at the moment. Know that this isn't reality, it is ego.

There's no guide book to healing from a broken down relationship, we're all very different in how we deal with things and what methods work to heal us.

This is all very raw to you so you are within your rights to feel upset seeing her in a new relationship. Know that it's highly unlikely she has dealt with the split of you both within two months and is ready emotionally to move on., unless it was one of those relationships which was well over before it was over, i.e. it was completely broken down and emotionally she had already left.

A lot of people move on quickly as they do not want to face the emotions that arise from a relationship breaking down. They aren't aware they're moving on for this reason, but that is one of the reasons why they do it. They also seek comfort in someone, which links to this person providing them the happiness they long for.

Being on this forum you already probably know that nothing external will fulfill your happiness or desires. It may do temporary, but it is an illusion and offers no permanency. She is coping how she chooses to.

You are in a prime position now to really get under the skin of yourself. Plenty of you time, meditation, exercise, socailise with friends, reading, and pick up a book on healing if needs be.

Work on self love and remain loving and kind to your ex, no matter how hurt you may be.

The feelings you have right now are temporary. This has happened for a reason and you are being released to continue on your path - the path that is right for you.

Whenever uncomfortable feelings or thoughts arise, witness them, observe them, without any attachment and a guarantee you they will start to subside. It isn't a quick fix, but it absolutely works.

I try to remind myself of everything you’ve said. It’s just difficult to detach as there is still a lot unresolved baggage between us. I feel an energetic tie between us that doesn’t want to die. I know I can only focus on myself though. Even though it’s been difficult, it was the push I needed to truly expand my consciousness and ability to love. Thank you for the perspective you have provided.

Hi Crowzie. I agree very much that now is the time for you to pay attention to you. Though I realize it must be really hard living with her.

So, first I'd work on getting out of there, immediately. However you do it, leave. Because as long as you are there, your heart is going to be drawn to her. You were with her far too long for anything otherwise to happen.

After you are away from here you then can focus on all the other things you need to do much easier. I would still do your best while you are there, but realize it will probably be a challenge, which is understandable. Don't be too hard on yourself for that, feelings are what they are. Try to accept that you feel for her. Just move on from here.

Wishing you the best.

I am sorry for your heartache and loss.

The "broken heart" is a metaphor for emotional pain in the form of sadness, fear or anger. To continue the metaphor, we believe we need to heal our broken heart. But there is no way to heal our selves from ever experiencing sadness or pain. It's all part of life and living in a human body.
I encourage you to keep feeling the difficult feelings... for they too will pass.
And they will strengthen your emotional core.

I am not arguing, I just want to offer a different viewpoint. I do believe that they heart will feel pain. The heart as an organ does experience energy, that either can pull at it and become what we call painful or energy that makes it leap in joy. Also different energies inbetween. When we are feeling alone and walk into a room full of people knowing our friend is there it is our hearts that is reaching out for that friend to connect with, and when it does, it soothes it and we feel that happiness of connection.

I don't mean to sound as if I am arguing a point with you, it is just my perspective and my experience-how I have interpreted life. I'm sure your experience-Brother Michael-will help many people as well, so thank you for your imput! :) I agree that there is a way to heal our sadness..

Try this visualization technique:
first learn how to go in the Alpha state using this (youtube /watch?v=05TwQ6OYXW0) and then follow the below.
1.Go to your alpha state.
2.Close your eyes and in you imagination go to your favorite place in your house.Feel the surroundings from where you are standing in your imagination. What do you see ? See it vividly.Like you see on HD TV.What do you hear ? What do smell ?What are you tasting ? even if you are not eating you still have a taste in your mouth.What do you feel when you touch something ?
Bring in all the five senses as this makes the exercise more effective. It will get easier every time you do it.
3.Bring in the three enlightened beings(Buddha,Jesus,Gandhi,Mother Teresa etc.) you believe in who will act as judges , so you must believe that they are impartial.
4.Bring in your ex in your imagination.
5.Blame her what wrong she did to you , feel deeply the anger, angst, pain you have for and because of her. Say things that you feel she did wrong like a lawyer does in a court , in front of the judges you selected.
6.Then say to your judges you forgive her and while doing so actually forgive her …
The last step will help in letting go of the negative emotions and will result in raising the Alpha waves in your brain.Alpha waves are like sun and negative emotions like fog.The sun dissolves the fog.

The SECRET of Letting Go by Guy Finley
Teach Only Love by Gerald Jampolsky
A Course In Miracles
The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle
The Edgar Cayce Companion by B. Ernest Frejer

This is something that takes quite some time and dedication to SELF . FIND THE LOVE within Self ...... it never was her Love you were FEELING , just your LOVE FLOWING. You turned it off by thinking it was gone. You are BLOCKING it due to some false beliefs and Conditioned thinking patterns, not unusual , nothing you did wrong , nothing to Judge about Self or her.
Spend as much time in Nature as you can , take up camping, hiking, exploring. Nature is the Quickest Way to Heal ~

You may find she comes back to you after some time. However, do not CLING to that!

A successful strategy that I have used is the construction of a poppet, a doll that is representative and symbolic of myself. I created him from green fabric (due to the color correspondence to the heart chakra) and drew a huge smile on his face and a heart on his chest. I stuffed him full of rose petals and other herbs that correspond to love, as well as a danburite crystal due to its association with self-love and emotional healing. I also inserted a few sympathetic links to myself (hair, toenails, etc) before stitching him shut. I then spent time whispering into his “ear” to ask for healing.