I need to heal
 

Can a starseed or lightworker hate the world?
I think I'm a starseed or a lightworker.
When I was a child, I always felt bad when I heard people did things that could harm the earth, I really felt sick, and always wanted to do something to protect the earth.
But these years, something bad happened in my life, and I'm going through a big challenge in life.
Why should I go through these bad things in life? Why me? Do starseeds or lightworkers have a happy and easy life? I can't help but I am angry at the earth, the laws of nature, I find that the earth, the laws of nature can be so cruel. I even wish there was really the end of the world, all humans die or the earth explodes.
At the same time I am so guilty of these thoughts, why am I so selfish.
I am so guilty of these thoughts it I can't help thing about it.
Now I feel like I'm in the dark. I want help, why can people help others patiently? Why can't we love unconditionally?
I just feel helpless.
Why does life on earth have to be so hard and tiring? Why is there so much pain? Why do livings have to suffer?
If I don't go through something bad, I probably don't know how hard life can be.
Don't know how long it will take to have a peaceful and a happy world.
Sorry for send negative vibes and energy...😔

What kind of healing do you desire?

I don't think any feelings are wrong or shameful, especially if they're negative. I was raised to reject my negative feelings. Sadness and anger were taboo. It was part of our sickness not to be able to know how we feel and express it. The reason there's no such thing as a wrong emotion is because emotions are natural responses to whatever we experience. If a feeling can't be expressed it can't resolved and so is stored in the body, and eventually causes us physical or mental illness.