Becoming A Light Worker and Shaman
Events of the past few months, since the beginning of this year really, has forced me to take a good, long and hard look at my life.
I have done absolutely nothing with it, except for isolating myself in meditation. Why?
Ever since I was born, I have found it impossible to live up to the unreasonable and unrealistic expectations of society, including my own family and friends.
I am fully aware of my own personal limitations, but they are not... especially when it boils down to me doing what they all want me to do, and not whenever it comes to supporting me with anything I choose to do.
I am sure many of you have heard it all before.. whenever it comes to another's self-serving agenda: "you can do it! you have unlimited power and potential! I have so much faith in you!"..but when it comes to taking any personal initiative: "you will never achieve it! you don't have what it takes! you are just wasting your time! It is a really dumb idea.." etc etc...so, all of these "mixed messages" I have received throughout my entire life have been utterly phenomenal, quite literally paralyzing me due to indecision...or lacking the ability to even make one.
All my life, I have told my family all of my plans, because total honesty, unrestrained divulgence and having absolutely NO boundaries between child and parent, was a relic from the Communist fallout following the WW2 era, which has absolutely NO place in today's society.
If I kept ANY information from my family, I was being "dishonest", "sneaky", "untrustworthy", "a criminal/traitor" yet, if I shared anything, I was ridiculed, abused, discouraged, gossiped about and told every possible way why I was "wrong" and they all were "right"...I just couldn't win which ever way I went with that...but lately, I have figured out it is better just to keep everything a secret with them and have all of those former "labels" and become disowned by all and sundry, rather than suffer the consequences of what happens if and when I share my hopes and dreams with them all.
It was during this realisation, I have decided to become a Shaman and undertake such trainings...I have met the prerequisites for this and I also understand what makes certain people follow this path now....their parents probably wanted them to be doctors or lawyers... become billionaires...drive around in Mercs...own islands in the Pacific...you know, everything THEY wanted to do, but then "wasted their lives" having children..so they resent the children for "ruining their lives" and seek to continually punish them for it until the day either of them dies.
So, when the child (who is now a middle aged woman) says "you know what? I am big enough and ugly enough to decide how I want to live my OWN life, but thanks anyway" the parents will complain to the rest of society or the "tribe" about how their own children...their own flesh and blood don't even care if they live or die...they will make their sob story sound SO authentic, complete with all the crocodile tears they can muster, so as to elicit pity, sympathy, empathy, compassion towards THEM and hatred, disgust, avoidance and ignorance towards their child as a "payback" or a "retribution" for disobedience or insubordination.
After like 30-40 years of this, the child goes.."well, I have nothing more to lose here and everything to gain, so I may as well become a Light Worker or a Shaman and the ONLY ones who would have a problem with that, would be demons and evil beings from the lower astral planes, inhabiting the bodies of friends and family members, pretending to act like them to trick me into staying stuck in a rut and getting nowhere with my life.
What I'm about to say may sound harsh, but it is based on decades of careful observation and study. The Average worldwide IQ is 82. This means more than half the people on this planet are literally retarded and are incapable of grasping even the most basic mental concepts and are completely unfit for anything other than menial work.
The average IQ of other primates (in the 60-90 range) is actually pretty similar, though they lack language, which is the main thing holding them back. As you move up the IQ scale (it follows a bell-curve) people who we would consider to be bright, with an IQ of over, say 120, are exceedingly rare. People with genius-level IQs, a 150 or more, are only found at the very top of their professions and are minuscule share of the population, little more than statistical noise.
Even among smart people, with high IQs, actual wisdom is in short supply. There is an over reliance on intellect at the expense of the intuitive, spiritual side of man. It then logically follows that your average person, even if you are related to them by blood is a poor choice as a source of advice. The sad truth is that most people are idiots and you should never listen to them.
I personally always regret listening to the advice of other people, it always turns out that listening to my own intellect and intuition, a combination of brain and heart is always the superior choice. Other people may mean well, but they know nothing and more importantly, they don't know you.
Ever wonder who that higher self is, people keep banging about? Yep, it's you, but with the Self-doubt removed. It is that version of you that does not listen to others but follows her own intuition and thought process. She is the divine in you, the one who always knows what's right. You should be that person and not the one that cares about what others think.
What I am about to say, is going to sound even harsher than that.
Even before I read your reply, I already had the realization that it is not so much a question of lacking intelligence among the majority of the species (even though you are 100% correct there), but it is more a case of severe mental illness...it is insanity and not stupidity which seems to be the main factor here.
What other creature would be SO jealous, as to wish others, even their own offspring and siblings, to be totally sad and miserable because THEY cannot find any peace and happiness in their own lives? i.e. "I cannot be happy and therefore, nobody else deserves to be"?
What other creature is SO emotionally unstable, they take the word "no" as a personal insult? Then spread vicious lies about you to everyone, simply because they are disappointed by the fact you did not say "yes"?
The problem is, that one then realises they are totally alone in this world and it does cause the feeling of loneliness, isolation and emptiness when you much prefer to "do your own thing" and not listen to any advice... because others will say "I was only doing it for your own good"... emotional manipulation takes MUCH intelligence and some people are not as "stupid" as they act.
They are, however, bat-faced insane! Personality Disorders R Us!
The only difference between human beings and primates, is that the sh*t we throw at each other is verbal and not literal.
I am not like them....but I don't want to be lonely either...but it seems like I have no say in that matter and meanwhile, I am itching to do psychedelics just to "reset my brain" from a lifetime of this crud, because I feel that once I get over the biggest hurdle, it will be all smooth sailing from then on.
...and yes, I have a "genius IQ" but I still don't want to do what others want me to do with it if THEY had the "genius IQ" because you are right, they don't know me at ALL...but they are totally delusional in the full belief that they do. How is one supposed to handle that?
Meanwhile, I cannot understand how any "non separation" can exist between myself and another member of my species when we exist in totally different (separate) dimensions.
So yep, bring on the chemical enhancements and mental modifications...and allow me to at least do something with all this Light and Energy that is simply going nowhere.
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