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-   -   Not good enough (https://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/showthread.php?t=38124)

Belle 02-07-2012 08:17 AM

Not good enough
 
I never believed I was good enough for a relationship. I connect this to my childhood where my mother sold me short in order to protect my sister. Sister is now happily married with 4 kids.

I have always sold myself short - when really decent guys have come along - not believing I was good enough, not believing that I could stay the course, how do I get over this, how do I move forwards?? How do I work through that actually I deserve the best of a life partner??

Sybilline 02-07-2012 08:53 AM

Hi Belle,

I personally don't think there is a "quick" solution to this, but here's your start:

Quote:

How do I work through that actually I deserve the best of a life partner??

You're already there my dear, and the best part of this is that you did not say "I want" the best, you said "I deserve" the best, and indeed you do.

I do not know if you are a big fan of affirmations, but it has definitely worked wonders for me. If you "feed" your subconscious that thought, that you are deserving and you are open to receive the best, your conscious mind will think it too, your words will say it, your actions will make it manifest. And all the people around you will feel that you are open and deserving, and from there, you just have to be ready for the Universe's big surprise. :)

As aforementioned this is not going to be an overnight thing (well, it could be actually), it could take weeks, or even months, it all depends on your faith and your constant manifestation of this thought. Don't lose hope, you know what they say about morale (in my signature lol).

:hug:

Belle 03-07-2012 12:10 PM

I've never been a believer in affirmations to be honest, but I noticed that as I started saying "I deserve the best" etc - I felt as if I were lying to myself, that it was simply the right thing to say. Hm. Interesting. Off I trot to affirmations to work out some really powerful one and let's see if I can turn this life of mine around. Thanks Sybilline

immortal coil 04-07-2012 08:09 PM

Look at it this way: What have others done that makes them more deserving of the best life partner over you?

Are you a good person? Do you give your absolute 100% best effort in all that you do? That's all that matters.

primrose 05-07-2012 06:38 AM

Belle, you've received good advice here. It's true that affirmations do work.
Please try them, let us know how you're doing.

shadedragon 05-07-2012 03:27 PM

You Are Good enough. You Are Better in fact. You Deserve it Because You are You, and no one else will ever be You because you are Unique. You Are Strong Enough, You Are Good enough, And You Know this Deep Down. Just because someone else Didn't see That You Are Unique, That You Are Good Enough, Doesn't mean you shouldn't see it, Because you Know Yourself, and You Know That You deserve The Best, You Deserve to be treated Right and Loved, You deserve It All to be A Loving, Long, Happy Life. Some people may be blind to your Amazingness, but that's Because they Can't See It Unless You Step into That Shimmering Loving Happy Light. You Are the World and It is You. It Can't tell you Anything, It Can't hurt you, It Can't Change You, unless you allow it to, And That Change Can only Be for The Better, for That is All You will Accept, That is All that can Come your way if you allow it to.

Now read That a couple of times, and although affirmations are good, I truly believe everything I wrote here bc every wore of it is true, for You and All of Us.

Emmalevine 05-07-2012 05:00 PM

Maybe try accepting your feelings, whatever they are. My experience of affirmations is that they can make me feel more despondant and cut off because they widen the gap between my current self and what I see as 'ideal.' I think there's psychological research on depression that finds the same thing. If you can accept yourself whatever your perceieved flaws and failures, you may find the pressure starting to lift. No one is a brilliant partner all the time, we all have our odd habits and needs and annoyances, but we are all so unique and worthy of love at the same time. If affirmations about being worthy do not help, maybe try accepting however you feel about yourself first. If you think 'I'll never be a good partner' accept that and see what happens. It's not as crazy as it sounds.

Belle 06-07-2012 06:44 AM

Thanks all, it's a gritty balance of accepting feelings - as Starbuck says - but not being swamped by them or being dictated by them - but turning them around. So, I'm looking at a balance of affirmations but based on acceptance of where I am at.

Shadedragon what you wrote was lovely and reading it is empowering. It takes effort!

CatChild 06-07-2012 06:46 AM

You have to get tired enough of accepting something so hurtful that you just kick it to the curb out of sheer bloody mindedness and stubbornness. Really, life is too short- and you are too important to waste that kind of time.


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