Am I Dead?
 

The more time passes and the more unusual coincidences with random strangers I have, the more and more I wonder if I died and don't realize it. I keep going through the same cycle of events every year but with different people. In the last 6 months since my 22 year old niece died from being hit by a car, I started seeing lights all around me, all the time. Mostly a blue light that comes from my house windows. I've had spiritual awakenings for the last few years and I hear God more and more. A old man who called himself 'Jessie' told me to follow the light and after that I felt electricity go through my body. I visited a psychic the other day who told me my niece hasn't crossed.over and is attached to me. He said that her spirit is draining my energy and taking MY light. I had raised her like my daughter so I did all the funeral arrangements. Weird thing is the death certificate watermark read 'void', which my mom saw. A few months later the same death certificate watermark changed and now reads 'record'. Ive had other really weird experiences that make.me.feel more lost and confused. I need help!

Well, the simple answer is that if you had died without realising it you would be unlikely to be on this forum.

There are probably many cases where a person has died (or at least their physical body has ceased to function) and they do not realise they have died, because for them everything seems the same. But in such cases they are unable to communicate with others still incarnate, nor can they interact with physical objects without a great expenditure of energy.

It sounds as if you have psychic abilities which have maybe been latent through your life but they are now coming to the fore. Your challenge is to become comfortable with them and learn to control them, otherwise you could find that your life continues to be somewhat strange.

Peace

Thank you Iamthat. The psychic did tell me that I have the gift but need to learn how to use it. My concern is that I attempted suicide several times and wasn't sure if I am now living in a hell. Everything that I've done in the past has been coming back to me where I have to experience the hurt and pain that my actions have caused. It feels like I'm going through a "school" of empathy and karma and haven't passed to the next 'level'.

It sounds as though you have been through a tough time. It is all learning, so hang on in there. When you come out the other side you may find that you can really help other people in similar situations, because you will know what they are going through.

Peace

Earth + An Incarnation = school.

You are in school. Every time you go through the same scenario it whittles a little more of your rough edges. Some people call it ego, I hate that word.

Just keep plugging along. You've made it this far. You can see it to the end. To commit suicide is to make null and void everything you've learned so far in this lifetime which equals you have to come back and learn it again.

I Have to agree with what Iamthat has said.
you are not in Hell or your version of it.going to a spiritulist church where they do development classes would benefit you.



Namaste

Thank you call for the prompt responses
 

I'm grateful for the wisdom shared in this site by the users and all of your kindness.

It does sound like your niece may be attached to you - that's not a bad thing per se. It just means that you were the safest thing to cling to when she passed over.

Start doing a simple White Light meditation daily.
Imagine a white/silver/gold light fill your body and aura.
Give permission to your Guardian Angels to assist in your endeavour to help your niece.
Ask simple yes/no questions to see if your niece is attached to you.
This could be your chance to open up your sensitivities to spirit.

A word on suicide; having been raised by ultra-religious parents, I went through an awakening that led to seven very intense years of research, meditation and ritual practice.
My only motive was to find a truth that I could live with.

The matter of suicide was the last thing on my agenda. Christians often say that suicide is the ultimate unforgivable sin. Since the Divine is a God of Love I knew that that was nonsense but I did feel that there were consequences.

Long story short; before we incarnate we make plans/agreements. Some see it a bit like a contract. Bottom line is that suicide is no escape. One must endure.
One must come back to live out the time left facing the same circumstances that they tried to flee.

It explains, to me at least, why babies are born with disease like cancer for example, where a patient tried to evade a painful end to a life.

Thank you Lucifer777 for all your information.

You're welcome TAB [I had a name change]
Let us know how you get on.