self love - best practices
 

I am curious to hear from those that have identified this as something you needed to work on. What has worked for you? What are your best ways to build and sustain self appreciation acceptance and love?

Connecting with God is very important to me ,knowing that i am unconditionally loved helps me to try to be that way towards myself. Often I need to talk my way through my day also so I feel like Im here ,I have had alot of trauma ,ill health in my life but something just keeps me going ,I believe in a better life , Ive had to be brave ,expose my victim ,and bare my ego ,surrender to what is deeply right, not easy stuff, compassion, forgiveness, courage and good old love all go along way in my recipe for building self love.Affirmations are helpful too but be ware that your journey is not blinded by them ,it is good to say you love yourself but too much self love can and does lead to selfishness we must be able to be empathetic towards our fellow brothers and sisters at all times ,be able to see the value of humility and serve God to the best of our abilities............Resting Butterfly

I got no fear of overly loving myself, I would love that to be a risk. I exchange myself every opportunity I get if I think someone would just give half a ****. :)

My inability to open up to people has everything to do with not fear.. but being utterly convinced they are not going to be able to like what they see. And it's dumb. There is no reason I should feel that way. I don't have any glaring issues like addiction (unless you count god) it is just soooo deeply rooted in my experience. It's hard to argue with factual experiences even understanding your conclusion is wrong. It's like the reason it happens changed but experientially who cares the reasons, it's still an "is" for me. Every perceived rejection is an affirmation I am meant to be totally alone in this life. I am so hopelessly stuck going back to this place in my mind. Like a deep painful acceptance that rises up and comes to dinner every now and then.

Self-loving takes time. In my own case I have an expanded heart chakra but I have aspects of me rooted deep down in my lower chakras which feel unloved and alone, those are the parts that need support and time, you can't force them out. Then when they're ready they rise up and go through the heart chakra to be loved and transmuted. Sometimes it's more painful than others, the negativity can get stuck there for a little while. But after my heart is even bigger than it was before.

You can self-love fully without being fully filled with love... sort of like you allow and accept that you just need time to heal and that can't be done in a fortnight.

Also I don't agree too much self-love is selfish, if you've ever felt love you know that's an impossible thing. Love is neither selfish or selfless but neither and yet both.

Are you aware that those feelings of unworthiness and rejection are subconscious, meaning outside of your conscious control? They are being triggered by the situations and circumstances much like someone with PTSD gets triggered by a loud noise.

That doesn't mean the situation is hopeless but it's an important point. I'm just saying you don't need to blame your (conscious) self for those struggles or feel like you are lacking in the ability to self love or self accept. This is literally a universal problem for everyone. The quest to cure this problem is IMO the foundation of spiritual development and religion.

Yes, that feels to be the case. It's particularly deep with me. People talk about meditating and feeling all this love and etc. I've felt a lot of things peace, contentment... Never love. During my awakening still no profound love. When I inquired about that I felt I didn't and haven't felt that because I would likely use it to torture myself. If I felt it I would obsess on it as something unavailable to me. Also, I know I feel love, but I interpret it as anxiety fear and pure trickery.

Basically, I gotta except it before I can feel it...when I close my eyes and focus on my self love I sense a vast emptiness.. can't even find a flickering spark to grow.

I can relate. I know I've already told you this but continue to pray with humility and intensity. It will be beneficial in ways you likely won't be able to perceive until later in the future. This advice goes for anyone reading this post. It really does help in speeding up the spiritual development process. Ok good luck.

For me, it helped to be shown what caring looks like on the surface - I've found that there's lots of people who say 'look at me, I'm loving and caring', when they might want to be that, but they don't know how to care or just don't care very deeply.

That's something that I found came out of therapy, the therapist was honest and challenged the voices in my head and the excuses that I gave to other people by taking the blame myself. That good role model enabled me to start doing that for myself.

I've also done some inner child work. I have a strong maternal instinct, yet many negative voices were aimed at my own child self. So I turned that around by seeing that aspect of myself as my own child. I wrote letters to her, to acknowledge her and acknowledged her feelings when they arose, as a good parent would - by hugging her and saying it's ok, etc.

Knowing when to pick my battles, and knowing when to walk away (I can see the Kenny Rogers 'The Gambler' lyrics in that sentence). That always serves me a slice of self-love. Knowing I don't have to be right, regardless of being it or not, and knowing I don't have to say a word to someone who is intent on proving they have grounds on which to stand.

There is a thread about spirituality and ego, which reminds me of when I opt to stay quiet so as not to appease my ego. For me anyway, that is one small example of self-love:)

Beautifully said ,you are stronger for your tolerance and compassion no doubt octopusonpaper ....................Resting butterfly