Meeting old teacher, and jumping on buses
 

Dreamt I had a meeting with my old teacher Mr Bouskill. (He was the teacher that opened my mind to what was under the surface, my quest of searching the truth started with him). It was at a building near my work that's used for mental health. I got there early so I could get ready there so I was definitely on time for the meeting after work but I forgot my makeup and clothes and I was in pj's, it was a nighty dress. People found it funny I was like this it was embarrassing. I called Matt and after some pleading he took me back home and back to my work/meeting place in time, I wouldn't have made it if I had to get the bus. The meeting was early before work when I thought it was after work. Inside it was like a dormitory with bedrooms. Millie was laughing that I arrived in my pjs, she was helping me get ready. Then We sat down and had meeting I said to the teacher it's been a long time and we was sitting there holding hands and being fond of each other as we had missed each other all those years. At first he was resistant but as soon as he knew my energy and saw how far I come he was acting intimate with me. He was talking to everyone during the meeting.

Then after the meeting, we was walking down the street. There was lots of buses with the back bit open with stairs. Me Matt and Millie were walking down the road as well as other people in the meeting and there was an underpass bit. There was homeless people there. When we (Matt Millie and me) realised, they started coming near us asking for things. We gave them our chocolate bars. Matt got a twenty pound note and hid it by the stairs and said to them come and find it. We ran up the stairs and jumped on the back of a bus. Matt was on a bus ahead of me as it pulled away in the traffic and Millie was on a bus behind. We was all climbing across them in traffic and jumping to the next bus to catch up with each other and stay together. Each time we made it to the next bus we got a chocolate bar in our hand. A few times we dropped them when we jumped across . I was looking back giggling with Millie as it was so funny. I said to her I dropped my chocolate and she had dropped hers in the same place and we were both laughing. We was going down a highway, it was definitely in America even though the buses were from the UK. This jumping to the next buses happened for a while then I woke up.

hop u did not get on bus 1 in my dream simlerr dream agan

ah yes I saw that although your dream seems scarier with the shooting! Mine was just messing around but interesting we had the same symbolism :)

I think this dream is a continuation of the little girl dream. You are ready to heal your past conditioning (reconnecting with a wise mentor) and what it stole from you but there may still be a tendency to feel threatened by facing the hurt. Your hurt is symbolized by the homeless people. Homeless people can be symbolic for loss of self worth (they are penniless), loss of family support (they have no home) or a loss of a sense of belonging (they are cast aside by society or in a sense rejected). In general you have some sort of group mentality (bus) that suggests that homeless people are a threat you need to distract and then run from.

They say chocolate triggers endorphins in us which help us to feel better. It is a very minor form of self medication. Using something to help us feel better. But when we run from what hurts we aren't capable of healing it. It will stay there in our subconscious where it can get triggered into causing us to feel bad in the future when someone touches our sensitive buttons.

I would say you are ready to heal your past conditioning but may need to stop trying to immediately feel better when you feel badly. If we rush to only fix the feelings and raise our emotional state we also rush past the thoughts behind them. if you can allow yourself to feel badly for a little bit you can take the time to ask yourself things like, why do I feel bad? What just occurred to trigger me? What can I do to heal this? When we get curious about our bad feelings our self talk will do a brilliant job revealing our subconscious thoughts. But if we are rushing to feel better right away we tend to ignore or miss those inner thoughts. But it is the inner thoughts that reveal the beliefs or misperceptions we need to shift.

I see, yes I am ready I don't want to waste any more of my life not living it to the fullest because of past conditioning. I do find it hard to deal with the hurt, I feel like I don't want to feel it anymore, but I understand I need to with open eyes, mind & heart to understand so I can move on from it. I understand what you are saying, I need to stop avoiding this hurt as that's what is holding me back, and let it come over me more to wash away instead of instantly trying to feel better. I realised when I listened to the inner thoughts as you describe, that when I get upset and offended if Matt isn't spending as much time with me as I'd like, I feel he doesn't like me or whatever, that's from my past feelings with my mum. I'll definitely focus on this for the foreseeable future and hope that it will make that last & final changes I have wanted for so long. I know deep down that not getting to the deepest parts of how I think & feel is what's been preventing this change, so thank you for bringing all of this to my attention.