Advice on interpreting conflicting signs ? Help pls
 

Had anyone got tips on how to know what the signs mean?
I am meditating & journalling. I am trying to not think too hard and let the feeling come to me. But all i get are contradicting signs.
Last weekend, I asked the universe for a sign whether or not to stay with my bf (as i feel i no longer am in love, and have even felt drawn to someone else - call him W (which to me is a sign something is not right with the relationship if i am looking elsewhere i know). So I basically asked that my bf show me more affection over 48 hrs if things would improve for us.

Since i asked that, not only has every sign pointed towards the other guy, W - as bizarre as running into him randomly *20 mins* after i asked for the sign, amongst MANY other signs- but my bf has also become more affectionate. Yet i am still conflicted. And now i am worried about leaving my bf because of the fact that he has shown more affection. Not sure if it is because he has felt me pull back and become distant lately (which he has done so in the past, and then turns non affectionate again when i warm up to him again).

So, any tips pls on how to interpret these??? Thank you

You've interpreted your signs to be conflicted when actually they may be aligned to guide you in the same direction. Maybe the new guy will be your new boyfriend or he could also be the catalyst that causes your current to change for the better. It may be too early to make any kind of decions.

The only tip I can give is to avoid expectation bias. You'll find plenty of it here. People are suddenly struck by an idea (here, it's often a desire to meet a new person or finding themselves intensely attracted to someone they've seen. They get a feeling it's going to happen and so "look out for signs"). So they see signs they'd never have noticed otherwise and interpret them to align with their expectations / hopes rather than consider them neutrally.

I'd suggest not to rely too much on signs in abstract matters. They're just symbols for ideas and while that's fine for concrete things like objects or observable phenomena their meaning can be a bit elusive, nebulous when they concern things like emotion or need. It's too easy to mislead oneself.

So it may be better just to hold fire for the time being. Let things unfold a bit more. You have a bf whom you've come to know. Ponder on what you bring to each other's lives; look for details like how well you support each other in times of trouble; are your differences (that result in sharp words) easily resolved or not? so you can gauge better what you'd be giving up for an unknown. You may decide that your current relationship has reached its sell-by date and if you're unafraid of dealing with new things if they go wrong, make yourself available to the new guy. Then again, there will always be compromises in relationships. None are perfect and will always need concessions on both sides if they're to work. You keep a journal? Writing so helps to clarify. Same with signs - journal them, if they conflict pit them against each other and ponder if they are even relevant.

So, in my reckoning probably best to let them pass. You could be better off relying on intuition.

Just my views.
:smile:

Thank you both of you for your wonderful replies, they were very helpful.

Believe it or not I have been a skeptic most of my life. Studied psychology therefore thought I understood all about how our brain fills in gaps, notices things we have become consciously aware of, etc... i became arrogant lol. But these signs were honestly not things that could happen. Like for instance if I hear his name in public, i am aware it is a common enough name and it is very likely that I would hear it out and about now that I am tuned into it. Instead they were sort of things like having a dream of something, and then seeijg that thing from my dream the next day associated with the most random connection i had made with him in my head. As a joint image. Not two separate things. Hard to explain. But yeah just things that should be statistically improbable, yet seemed to be happening too frequently to be labelled rare any longer.

My relationship doesnt seem to offer me much anymore. We dont have deep convos. We dont have the same wants out of life anymore. I love him so much but I no longer feel physically or emotionally connected with him. When we go through a tough time, we fight because he becomes snappy and frustrated at the smallest inconvenience. When hes angry he will call me names - which from the start i told him was something thataffects me more than i could say and would eventually lead me yo resenting him. Its not often. But when it happens, it cuts deep. Then i turn cold. And then we go back to pretending nothing happened the next day after he apologises. We just dont seem to have the correct strategies for dealing with conflict together.

It rather does sound like it's over or close to it, unless he himself is under considerable pressure like having to find a new job, debt, could be a few things. Calling you names could be hitting out over being unable to secure control of you (or sensing you aren't accepting his views). No matter, it isn't nice and results from someone unaware of the effect on you, which is not a sign of reciprocated love.

Who's to blame you turning cold? Perfectly possible to go on living with someone like that but it gets more like two people lodging under the same roof rather than building a nest together.

It could also be a change in your presentation as you've encountered a new guy you quite like - just subtle changes that men pick up but don't often know how to interpret. Have you noticed fights starting when you seem to be very calm and nonchalant perhaps over this new guy?

Only you know what combination of factors it might be but one big question you've probably already asked is "Is this b/f the making of a long-term, fulfilling relationship, assuming you want that? Does he add up to "'til death do us part?"

If the answer is no but he's worth at least keeping on the back burner for now, then the honest thing is to cool it as best you can and prepare for a new future. If you can, tell him your feelings about he and you - perhaps you already have and without mentioning this new guy - no problem about that. It isn't dishonest not to mention Mr New as you haven't yet started anything with him. But at least b/f will know that things have changed sufficiently for both of you you that you don't see a long-term future with him. Be prepared that he may get emotional.

All good wishes with it.
:hug:

It’s so frustrating. When asking questions regarding to conflicting signs there’s never any helpful answers. I’m currently experiencing this myself and would like some help to. But all these people say is some irrelevant stuff. Hope icnafine the answer soon.

Who are "all these people"?

These shallow minded people for whatever reason on forums like this obviously.
II don’t know WHY these people register on this forum in the first place. And they purposely go to the signs and synchronicities section...Like seriously I’m tired of wasting my time to read their replies. Might need to remember the username so I can just skip to the next reply. That’s exactly like someone coming to a church and then tell people they don’t believe in God...
what...?

Rainbow11,

Relations are such a unique experience. Most of us, if not all of us are brought up thinking we have to have only one mate which I suspect is the real problem with you.

Look at life as a journey; a journey you can not predict nor change if you choose to take the journey.

Relax and enjoy life. Let your answer come to you as enjoy what the universe really has to offer for you.