Is there someone out there for everyone or not
 

Hi, am 32 and single and have been my whole adult life I had a long term boyfriend in my teen years which ended when I was 17 and never had a relationship since. I've done the whole bar seen and never got anywhere and now I've been doing online dating I've been on loads of date but nothing ever comes from them am starting to think something must be wrong with me. is there something am doing wrong I wouldn't say am ugly (not gorgeous )am over weight size uk18 but i dont think thats my problem because i haven't always been over weight I think maybe some people (like me) are not meant to have relationships and are just mean to be single there whole life or do you think there's someone out there for everyone i hope there is someone out there for me and i meet them soon but i am starting to give up
What do you guys think

Hi Stacey,

I like to think there is someone out there for everyone.

Bide your time and do your home work on a guy before you go on a date.

Regards online,checkout profiles and find someone along the lines as yourself.

Online dating is nortorious for guys trawling for another notch on there belt.

So buyer beware,separate the chaff from the wheat.

So don't be in a hurry to go on a date in future,see how serious they are and interested in you,rather than the types that think solely with there loins and sowing there wild oats.

And just saying...

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,weight is not an issue and a mute point.

Don't stress,the universe will have someone served up to you when it's applicable.

Don't be in a hurry nor let it play on your mind nor be fixated or feeling down.

Till the rightful suitor comes along,just be happy and loving within yourself.

The rest will follow.

Good luck,stay safe and take care.

Hi elabr8 thanks for your reply, I always make sure am safe when meeting someone offline I check out there profile add them on Facebook ect and speak to them for a while before we meet especially the last 2 dates I had we had a lot in common on got on really well but nothing ever came out of it. I hope there is someone out there for everyone but just wish the universe would hurry up, your right I need to stop letting it play on my mind as it starting to really bring me down.
Thanks again

No, I don't believe there's someone for everyone. Some people stay single their entire life or adult life. In many developed countries, at least 1/3 of highly educated people also stay single and childless up in their 40s, and among them it's probably also a majority that remain that way. No arranged marriages and less family pressure, so people do what they want. Traditional societies have always hidden the obvious reality. Being single is not 'rare'.. you're actually part of a large minority..

Why would you want the universe to ''hurry up''? Do you want kids? I've seen my older siblings enter marriage and having kids, and it doesn't look appealing at all to me..
They have lost much of themselves in the process. The great part of being single is that you have all your free time left for your hobbies and spirituality.

No, I don't believe there's "someone for everyone."

If that were true, it would mean that we are all following the same life script, doing the same things, hitting the same milestones, like automatons. Children are very time and resource consuming, and having them should never be done "because it's expected." The same with a partner. They, too, are very time and resource consuming.

Most people manage to find someone, but I suspect that has more to do with the innate urge to mate and continue the species than with any predetermined "The One" waiting out there. Between that and societal pressures to do "the normal things" in life, it becomes foggy just what we truly want from life.

I was married for a long time. I have kids. The guy I married was NOT a "special someone the Universe meant for me to find." He was just a guy who happened to be in classes with me.

If the ideal of home and family is strongly appealing to you, that's wonderful and I hope you find a good guy to help you build that life. But for now, at least, enjoy the single life. Relish your freedom to do as you please. Being in a committed relationship does very often involve sublimating your own wants and pleasures to those of your partner. "I" becomes "we," and you are forever taking someone else into consideration before doing anything.

Be you. Enjoy life. Being happy and enjoying life just might attract the man you're hoping to find.

Unfortunately from my own experience I would say 100% no. I recently turned 27 not too long ago and have always been single my whole life. This is something I am not too proud of however, because it makes me appear as a loser when new people get to know me and it also makes me feel worthless and empty on this world, especially when seeing all those happy couples together and the media being full with it. I've had a few failed dates, been approached by girls and called handsome and cute occasionally, but that's about it. I don't expect anything special heading my way this lifetime.

Hard to say. Obviously i don't have all the answers and don't know your situation. Sometimes all you have to do is take an honest look at yourself and the situation presented. At 35 i've yet to be in a serious relationship myself. No friends either. Sometimes it hurts. Like i don't belong, don't fit in. Deep down i know its of my own doing.

Daring to be different (yourself) comes at a price.

Problem is,society 'breeds' this misconceived idea that being single is wrong,weird and not healthy.

Then we see couples all around us and then we perceive in our minds eye a romantic infatuation fantasy ideology.

We get caught up on this idea and ruminate and makes one ill.

I don't buy into this capitalist system and there's always a hidden agenda ie:double entendre.

Eg:Single is bad,being in a relationship,building a family,work,slave,makes more money for the system etc etc.

I have been in 'relationships',currently single and i have no intention with 'hanging out' with just anyone,just because i think i need someone and or have this longing for someone.

Relationships anyway i coin as attachment and form negative connotations such as ownership.

I prefer not to put a label on anything nor have any expectations.

One can easily drown from there own thoughts,perception and misconceived ideas,what they think is truth and reality,bares fruit.

I have no friends,never have and never felt the need.

No family either,i've washed my hands of negative types.

It would be nice to find someone like myself,someone that gets me and me them,but all the same,i ain't going to 'drown' in emotion by thought.

I think whats bothering me the most is I've always want children and a husband and at 32 I thought that's something I would have by now am being told my family and friends my biological clock is running out. But in one way I would rather be single and happy than unhappy in a bad relationship,i guess if its not meant to be theres nothing much i can do about it

Stacey the problem is,is that your attaching to a 'want' a 'need',expectations;longing,labels 'children' 'husband'.

The other problem is,your being brainwashed and driven by what others tell you.

Just be happy,have no expectations.

Life will work itself out.

Take care and good luck.