Unfriended on FB
 

If someone unfriended you on FB and just all of a sudden after 4 months, messaged you on whatsapp saying Merry Christmas and they miss talking to you and asked you out to meet them for a drink, would you go out with them or take them back as a friend?

I think I'd ask them. Tell them I was confused: unfriending me yet asking me out. What's with this?

Be direct but still nice. Maybe they just felt and feel lonely and you don't want up getting used for that.
Personally I think I'd decline.

If they ghosted you once, they're well and truly liable to ghost you again. That kind of friend isn't worth knowing!

This friend/unfriend stuff is noxious, an abuse of the word "friend". The petulance of some people knows no limit. Just a shame there isn't an enemy button! But I don't have a facebook account so I'm not familiar with the ethos.

Galtrav, take no notice of it. Follow your instincts. It sounds a bit petulant and contrary but...you never know. Reliability is a key factor in someone I'd call a friend.

Personally, I'd just keep it simple. I wouldn't even stress unless you want to. Example; They were close to you and your heart or you liked their company and so forth.

Then maybe find out why that happened, perhaps there was drama behind your back, etc.

Or, they had their own agenda and expectations of you. Basically being more than friends. I steer clear from childish mindsets such as that which jump to conclusions. Tell them they are too much or at least somehow express it, if they want more than you are already offering then move on.

Understanding and authenticity is what I look for in friends. Ones that you don't have to do small talk and suddenly talk to over long periods of time. No drama such as the actual reason this thread exists. Albeit my previous statement; Resenting someone over leading/living their own lives thinking they are resentful is hypocritical and downright petty.

If you'd like to meet up with this person for drinks, just do it.

Unfriending on FB might be absolutely nothing, so why assume the worst. I've had friends who have sworn off or left FB and before they did it they unfriended everybody. Just the way they roll. Or perhaps your friend was in a dark space or there was a misunderstanding.

Be true to yourself. Decide what you WANT to do and then do it.

Of course. Unfriending a person on social media doesn't mean much. I had a cousin who kept unfriending me then would send me a friend request a few months to a year later. I always accepted. There could be many reasons for this "unfriending" one of which i don't hang out on facebook often. Or maybe he didn't like my posts but still accepts me as a person. There are family members i ignore on facebook because they get too political or religious with their posts but i would happily hang out with them.

You never know what's going on behind the scenes. Please don't fall into that old trap that "if someone hurts your feelings once, at least you know what kind of a friend they are." This is just a defence mechanism people use to try and wring some good out of a situation where they're deeply hurting.

Here's an example where I had to cut some people off. A few years ago I started a chat group on a different forum, as a means of dealing with my loneliness and grief after being dumped by my fiancee. There were about 10 of us; we chatted for about 6 months on text and sometimes Skype. Eventually one of the members of the group told me that he was courting my ex. That was the most horrible news I've ever heard in my life and felt even worse than when I was dumped. In order to avoid any more news about their relationship, I immediately quit the chat room and blocked every channel of contact with everyone involved, with no explanation.

I should have handled it better. I should have been more straight with them or at least given them some sort of indication that I was taking a break and it was nothing against them. But emotions make us do strange things, and I hope the people involved would forgive me if they knew the whole story.

Now, if someone's a constantly flaky friend, or is just using you, or if there are other negative signs - then that's a different matter. Ultimately, you know better than us if this person is someone you want to maintain a friendship with or not. My only advice is just to not over-react to one unfriending. If it really bothers you, best to ask them in the nicest possible way, avoiding any sort of accusation. Maybe something like "It's nice to hear from you too. I'm just a little confused because you unfriended me, did I do something to offend you?"

That's an enlightening point paragon, I stand corrected in error and should have refrained from my earlier misconception to GT's post. You are right, there's obviously more to the situation than the one-sided statement that is portrayed.

I'm taking back my comment too. I feel like i've matured and grown up in just the past few hours. You should agree to meet up with your friend but only to get revenge for unfriending you. Its a much wiser and more mature approach to teach them a lesson for doing that to you. You'll be sending a powerful message to others that you're not the one to unfriend on facebook.