Am I being selfish?
 

Am I being selfish?

I’ve recently terminated my relationship with my friend. No matter how much I try I can’t trust her anymore.

All her life, she has this negative, stubborn, pessimistic attitude on her that drains me. I know deep down in my heart that she needs support and help but I can’t help her anymore because she is so rigid and don’t want to change. She has this attitude that “this is what I want”/”I can’t do it” and her life choices always bring her harm in the long run. She don’t listen to adults, to her friends or to anyone. She is argumentative and always have “alibis” and “reasons” for everything, instead of finding a solution to a problem she always find excuses.

Recently, something happened that made me loathe her and she broke my trust.

She is working in my business and I am wondering if it is okay to not allow her to work for me? I am weeding out negativity in my life and it makes me sick whenever I see her.

Am I being selfish for thinking about myself?
What do you guys think? :icon_frown:

Of course its ok to distance yourself from her if you feel like it, if you try seeing that however she is acting towards you is just where she is at, at the moment and not really about you then that could help reduce your anger towards her, but still ok to have healthy boundary's.

How do you define healthy and unhealthy boundaries Nature_Grows?

Hey Raimu.

unhealthy boundaries: Staying with someone/allowing someone to keep on abusing you in anyway, physically, emotionally or mentally.

You don't have to feel bad about letting someone go from your life if thats what you want to do, if you can't talk it out and figure it out between the both of you or you don't even want to or thats not an option it's alright, you don't have to hate them while you let them go but if you do thats ok, feelings are ok, you just say im sorry, but for my own well being i need to let these people go now, it might just be the universes way of telling you it's time to move along from these people now.

There is nothing wrong with moving on from any relationship that is creating negativity in your life especially if you have tried to work on the relationship and the other person hasn't.

Regards with business, is this person an employee of yours? You may find you have employment law problems if you turn around and fire them without good cause so beware.

Thank you for your wisdom Nature_Grows. :smile:

I stop talking to her because she keeps lying to me. Her action doesn't match her words and I am wondering if she's making me feel like a fool. No matter how much I try I can't seem to trust her anymore, and seeing her everyday makes me upset and I felt betrayed and used.


Yes, she is my employee. I am actually lenient on her, I just hire her for the reason that she desperately need a job.
Don't worry, I got things handled about employment issues.

lol, thanks no problem.


Oh alright, well seeing as she works with you, it's good to work with people you can trust in your business.


You da boss!

Does it matter? Would it change anything?



You portray this "friend" in such a negative way while you are this "helpful" guy, a victim of her betrayal. Yet she has been this way all her life. Something doesn't add up. Did you not see this coming??? How is it possible you couldn't see that coming?

So what if it seems selfish - there are times we have to do this.
You'd be far worse off if you allow something like this to drain you emotionally.
You can't give all the time and get nothing but negativity in return.

Basically, someone who lies to you at all isn't a friend. She's using you to reinforce her style.

Yup, weed her out.
:smile:

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It would be selfish if you STAYED with such an ego imposter dip****. This one is clearly so wrapped up in her little self identity ....... that is purely SELFISH and it is no wonder you FEEL DRAINED! you must have met my sister .... lol!

On a good note ..... witnessing such stupidity (ego) ....... you stand a chance at uprooting ego in yourself and that is the best use of time for you NOW ~

It is easy to see it in "another" ........ Now TRAIN your Awareness to spot it in your own Consciousness and BEGIN all the way to Mastery ...... to KICK the Dip**** out of your own Consciousness and LET NO ONE give you DELAY any further!

How?

Many Ways ..... all the same result. Whichever RESONATES with you ~!

It matter because I CARE for her, I care of her well being, I care for her future, I CARE A LOT.
I want her to have a life worth living and be happy. But after all I've been doing she is still choosing to look at the bad side of life and I am getting tired of it.
I didn't see it coming because I am an idiot who believe the best in people. I believe in her when she couldn't believe in herself but I am draining out of what I can offer to give. I am tired. very tired.

I even threw a party for her and she was mad because she wants to be sad and miserable on her birthday because her life sucks. Now tell me, what kind of attitude is that?

I lived my life sacrificing for other people. Acting selfish is hard for me. It is a struggle but I guess selfishness for my own well being is valid.

Thank you Lorelyen. :hug3:

Your comment made me laugh, thank you I needed it. :hug2:
Thank you for you insights Golden Eagle. I appreciate it. :)

I asked if it mattered whether your actions were considered as selfish or not. And would it really change anything if it were.

You can still care about someone while giving them their space and respecting your own needs.


You pretty much answered that for me.