Not Feeling Alive Inside
 

I was wondering if anyone can relate to this. For the longest time I've had a hard time feeling driven in life, no ambition to move forward or attain any kind of personal goal. I think this goes beyond feelings of depression. Throughout my 20's and 30's I've helped care for sickly parents and since losing them I feel an emptiness and that I have no particular purpose in life. It's like a prolonged period of feeling dead inside. It's difficult for me to enjoy life experiences fully. I want to appreciate being alive and feel ungrateful because alot of the times I can't. I don't want to feel sorry for myself and want so much to find meaning to my life. Each day I try to be the best person I can but it feels like I'm just existing because I have to.

You are grieving still. You feel lost because you were a caregiver for so long that you have forgotten you are also unique and individual apart from being "care giver".

What I would suggest is to try to push yourself into new experiences. At first they will feel foreign and off. Go to a yoga class, take Tai Chi, find a meditation circle, take art or drawing classes.

Find what inspires you again and keep working through it. It make take months, but you can do it. :)

I was in your shoes and am again, caring for my mother. I make sure I do something for me, just for me, every day.

MutedBlue... It sounds like you are carrying emotions and memories from the past that are weighing you down so much you can't feel your life, your energy to go ahead as you want to, and to enjoy yourself.

There's a very good method for releasing things like this called EFT - Emotional Freedom Techniques. This is easy to learn and to use and works so well it is truly amazing.

You'll find an introductory article at: http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/showthread.php?t=4478


Xan

The emptiness will be filled.........I promise. It's a tough thing to go thru...I know... but when it is over you will appreciate how it set the stage for what's next.
Blessings, james

I know that feeling .. I spent 8 years in the United States Air Force .. when I was stationed in Germany how I got there was a series of mistakes I am only now starting to let go of .. but I fell into a depression one where I felt hurting myself or killing my self was the answer. I put myself with the help of doctors on Anti-Depressants which helped more than I can say. However I believe now that these drugs have been holding me back from growing as a person. So About two months now I decided that life wasn't going to get any better unless I did something about it .. it has not been a easy journey I had been stuck in this emotional stall for so long it has been a effort to try and greet each day with Peace, Love and Joy but I can assure you if I can do it you can do it. I still haven't gotten the nerve to go out and make some friends I have just lived in my house for 6 years without much contact. But this sunday I plan on attending a multi faith church I don't know if they observe my faith which is Pandeism but even if they don't I need to start making an effort to be around people again. I wish you so much Joy in your Life MutedBlue I am sending you good vibes your way.

Wishing you Peace, Love and Joy
Pernix

You had a purpose and that is gone...The solution is to find a new purpose. The saddest person is someone with no purpose and goals in life. It's all in "playing" the game...

Thank you for your responses. :hug2:

Medium Laura, I have been practicing yoga and I am hoping that the more I do it the more these feelings will change. It's difficult when I've only ever really identified myself as a caregiver and have to find out who I am individually. Thank you for reminding me to look after myself and for the encouragement. I am sending warm and positive thoughts for you and your mom.

Xan, thank you for those links, I've never heard of tapping before and followed the link to a website that demonstrates, and I'm am going to give it a try.

James, your words are reassuring, thank you.

Pernix, thank you for your kind and comforting thoughts. I hope for the best for you in connecting with people and finding your way. I hadn't heard of pandeism before and now am glad I learned something new.

Separate Reality, deep down I know that, and I don't want to be sad, but I'm searching for the strength now to be able to find that purpose.

Muted...

Have you thought about getting a pet? Maybe the joie de vivre and love of a puppy or a kitten will be healing for you.

Mutedblue, I would suggest going for some reiki healing... also investigate flower remedies and of course EFT. Be gentle with yourself - you're asking for help and it will be given. Breathe in, breathe out - gradually you will find your way forward. Start to investigate what might be interesting, challenging or even mildly exciting to do or study... now you have the freedom to discover who you truly are. It's a frightening place but also one of immense potential!!

Breathe in, breathe out... take baby steps until you find your feet. :hug2:

Good idea !