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-   -   Did I meet a TF/SM after my husband died? (https://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/showthread.php?t=133870)

Angnix 15-02-2020 07:34 AM

Did I meet a TF/SM after my husband died?
 
Sadly my husband and my uncle's girlfriend passed away toward to end of 2019... R.I.P.

My husband had the complete opposite personality as me... I'm shy and introverted while he was extroverted. He caused a lot of stress for me but I loved him. They both died of prolonged illnesses.

Anyway, his girlfriend's son ended up moving in with my uncle and because I couldn't afford living at my old place anymore I got a new place near my uncle.

Anyway before I even moved, the son messaged me and said he was sorry for my loss and he understood because his mom just died... But soon our chats started lasting for hours.

Then I met him irl once I moved... And we can't get enough of being around each other to the point I am staying at their place more than my new apartment... And it's him that gets real upset when I go home... Even my uncle commented we have the same exact personality... He's the guy version of me... And he even told me he would date me but he's afraid of what my uncle would say and also a couple other girls are interested in him and he don't know...

I mean what is going on here??? Enlighten me please.

JosephineB 15-02-2020 03:38 PM

It all sounded fine until this part:

Quote:

And he even told me he would date me but he's afraid of what my uncle would say and also a couple other girls are interested in him and he don't know...

He told you a couple of other girls are interested in him, so he's not sure about you and him? If this is the case, then step away.

Angnix 03-04-2020 06:34 PM

Update: I was invited to stay with them during the pandemic. It was okay at first, but then his language got really strong and he said he loved me... But I got upset/jealous he was telling the other girls he loved them too... Plus he's a convicted felon and everyone that knows what happened keeps telling me he was framed for his crime, it's got me concerned none the less... He broke my heart and I went back to my own apartment, but my uncle told me that all this time this guy's been telling my uncle I'm the one he really loves and the other girls he's not as interested in...

I'm heartbroken and don't know what to do...

Lorelyen 04-04-2020 09:48 AM

Sorry to hear about this but it seems unlikely that he'd be a twin flame (assuming such things exist) because you'd both need to have closely similar beliefs about TF regardless of what they actually are.
From your description it sounds as if it got carnal or close to it. Forgive me if I'm reading something that isn't there.

Can I be honest? I agree with JosephineBloggs. Walk away. Don't let it become an obsession which is spiritually so unhealthy. You can never own someone and their emotions - they have to come voluntarily. If it all started romantically, remember that unless you're very lucky and it's part of a couple's persona(s) together it can run dry. If there's enough of a tie up otherwise in the relationship, fine. But if not and the thing seems over, honesty is best. As long as you have one or two fundamentals in common like if you're basically compassionate; collaborative and things.

Having too much in common with someone can lead to boredom. People who care about each other can thrive on differences because they can develop an unobtrusive interest in the other. They can collaborate to reach compromise but still allow each other space to breathe so to speak. It's always balance. Differences can as easily drive you apart so it hinges on "collaborative", just as similarities make it easier to grow together as long as you keep in step.

So one thing that could help is, when you're thinking about him, go out of your way to find things about him you don't like. Balance them out against things you like. But for sure, if you're getting jealous, you'll find it difficult to trust him. If he senses he can make you jealous he'll have a hold over you. Who knows if he feels the same about you?

Yes, walk away. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

Bests to you.

A human Being 04-04-2020 10:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lorelyen
Sorry to hear about this but it seems unlikely that he'd be a twin flame (assuming such things exist) because you'd both need to have closely similar beliefs about TF regardless of what they actually are.

I'll say at the outset that I'm agnostic about the whole TF concept these days, but I'd always assumed that either someone's your TF or they're not, and whether or not you actually believe in it is of no consequence. What makes you think otherwise?
Quote:

Originally Posted by Lorelyen
If he senses he can make you jealous he'll have a hold over you.

I don't think this is necessarily true, either; in the past I've had girlfriends admit to feelings of jealousy, and not for a moment did I think, 'Great, I'm going to use this against them!' - rather, I felt sad that I'd caused them suffering, even if unintentionally. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are plenty of people who would use it against their partners, but I think it would be misguided to just assume that this is going to be the case.

Lorelyen 04-04-2020 03:50 PM

Yes. Perhaps I should have used the word 'could' because the possibility is there whether or not currently exercised.
However, if the chap has been declaring his love for other women (which equally is arguably fine, depending on what he means relative to Angnix' hopes) then it looks like he could be a bit pf a philanderer and either isn't aware of the anguish he's causing or is deliberately framing a message about not willing to commit to Angnix. Whether talking about it would help I don't know - I know nothing of the background other than as told - it may not even bring it to a head. He may just go on in his merry way which wouldn't solve the problem. In her position, I do all I could to cut my losses, discover ways to be less shy and look elsewhere.
.

A human Being 04-04-2020 05:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lorelyen
Yes. Perhaps I should have used the word 'could' because the possibility is there whether or not currently exercised.
However, if the chap has been declaring his love for other women (which equally is arguably fine, depending on what he means relative to Angnix' hopes) then it looks like he could be a bit pf a philanderer and either isn't aware of the anguish he's causing or is deliberately framing a message about not willing to commit to Angnix. Whether talking about it would help I don't know - I know nothing of the background other than as told - it may not even bring it to a head. He may just go on in his merry way which wouldn't solve the problem. In her position, I do all I could to cut my losses, discover ways to be less shy and look elsewhere.
.

I get the impression that he's just young and naive, to be honest, and maybe still a little vulnerable given that he recently lost his mum. Hard to be sure without having more information.

(And yep, you've got to be quick with the editing these days!)


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