Don't even know what I am!
 

Like the title says I have no idea who or what I am. Ever since a child I've always felt different. Never fitted in as much as I tried. Still don't. I have been through many healing modalities over the last five years but every single one just makes me even weirder. So I have had to come to the conclusion that I am just different. I used to blame my past alot but I have gone through and healed almost all of it.

My biggest issue is people and relationships. However, having been trying to fit in for many years it has made me good at certain things. I am actually a great communicator. I am very confident. Even though I am unable to build relationships. Nothing phases me. I work in a high end sales role where I just don't fit in with any colleagues. But, I can connect with my clients/customers from a different perspective and they love me. Its so messed up. I am unable to be 'social' but i am great at my job. I just doesn't fit within a traditional sales job.

I think I am a 'lightworker' whatever that means. I feel I have an ability to sense emotions and energy. My own and others. Which is probably one of the reasons I am good at selling.

I workout a lot. I do alot of strength training and it just makes my energy boom. I can feel it makes other uncomfortable around me. As much as I have tried over the years to not even think about it. I think I am strong but very sensitive at the same time. I dress extremely well and take pride in my appearance. I feel the opposite sex finds me very attractive but I haven't had a girlfriend in over 10 years.

I just wanted to share this. I have met quite a few spiritual healers and people over the last 5 years but none of them really get me. I think I am just trying to connect with other weirdos. I don't know what my purpose is here to be honest.

Sorry for the rant but I am just getting to the point where I am starting to accept who I am. I am trying to embrace it.

I think I have some energetic abilities and it looks like something I need to work on. That is all. Love to hear similar stories.

My biggest issue is people and relationships. However, having been trying to fit in for many years it has made me good at certain things. I am actually a great communicator. I am very confident. Even though I am unable to build relationships. Nothing phases me. I work in a high end sales role where I just don't fit in with any colleagues. But, I can connect with my clients/customers from a different perspective and they love me. Its so messed up. I am unable to be 'social' but i am great at my job. I just doesn't fit within a traditional sales job.


This sounds like me back in my early 30's. Someone then suggested I connect with animals and that would help me then connect with humans.

And did you? Did it work?

I doubt it because animals are different than humans lol.

I'm the same way and I also love strength training, but I am aware of many things that I am, in terms of "terms" for example im an ET walk in from the sirius star system, and lots of other things and i used to have a medicine path to follow, though right now im currently waiting for new missions.

I'm able to build relationships no problem, but keeping relationships has always been a problem, and I'm 99% sure it's not something I'm doing.
For some reason, all the people I ever become close to just dissapear, like literally they vanish and leave all the people in their life, not just me. Or they die. Or we have a huge falling out which I don't think I contribute to at all, just suddenly one day they will decide they hate my guts for no reason at all and there goes that friendship down the drain.
I'm not sure what it is, but there is only one friend in my life who has stayed with me for years, everyone else leaves.
I honestly don't think there is anything wrong with me. I am a great communicater, a very loyal person, very sensitive, and I do not judge people so I find I can get along well with absolutely anyone.
But for some odd reason, it seems the universe wants me to remain alone and friendless.

I've also noticed that sometimes when I talk to people, this giant storm energy appears and turns them against me. I don't know if that's me or something else. ET's told me they sometimes turn people against me for certain reasons, because they aren't to be trusted.
Ugh. Independence is ultimately a very good thing though, on a spiritual journey.

That's interesting,

I believe if you continue to tune your mind into finding who you truly are, you'll find the answers.You have an opportunity to learn and build without attachments slowing you down.

I did. It did work after some time. After I got to know more animals. I was surprised to learn just how much animals are like humans.

I totally can relate to you story. Ever since I can remember I have never really fit in. Most people have not really made the effort but some have; still, I feel like in another dimension. I've had a rough past and worked my way through it. I'm greatful for the hard times. I learned a lot of life lessons at a young age. I was always advanced and mature for my age both mentally and physically. Every day I feel like I'm walking in between worlds alone. I guess that's part of my spiritual journey though.

Some of my experiences have been very similar. i have noticed that physical moment helps to ground me, and keep me from feeling disconnected. I took martial arts classes in high school and collage, and i like to get outside and bike, or just walk around.
I have always felt a little out of place in this world from the time i was very young, and i realized that other children my age didn't experience things the same way i did. If i touched a tree or picked up a rock to me it was something alive, I could feel energy coming off of it, sometimes even talk to it, but to my friends they we just objects. Latter in life i found out that i was energy sensitive, and gained a better understanding of some of the things I was feeling. I often feel like I am walking around with one foot in this world, and one foot in another.
People and relationships have always been difficult for me. While i understand most of the emotions people are supposed to have, like love, pain, joy, fear, empathy ect i find that i am missing any concept of a couple of odd ones, like jealousy. I don't get it at all, people have explained it to me so many ways, and i have no idea what it is. So where ever this is involved, i find myself really confused by what other people are doing.
I often find other humans to be volatile, and unpredictable. I understand most feelings, but sometimes other people seem to bounce back and forth so fast, and i don't get why.
To be honest I often don't feel very human. In my spirituality i work with Faeries (fairy), who see me as one of their own kind. This adds a whole other dynamic to my identity as I have as i have always had to try and balance this part of my self with trying to live in a human wold. In the Past I have tried to keep the human part of my identity separate from the Faerie part, but i can no longer do this as it makes me feel torn in two.
I loosely identify as Faerie ken, but it is more of an idea than an exact term, and i have never seen anyone else use it. A few weeks ago I had a was desperately trying to find some peace, and not feel so alone, when i had a dream about looking up "Earth Angels" on the internet. I apparently have no idea what the term actually means, and so far those who know wont tell me ;P. So if you happen to know anything pleze let me know. Feel free to send me a message.

I have found that exercise is so very beneficial
 

It is similarly beneficial to be at rest in nature. When I cannot connect with people, I can always connect with nature. It is very difficult for busy people to go to the forest and just walk or sit quietly. I've found that being comfortable with myself is more important to me than relationships. It might seem selfish of me to be this way, but I am at peace when I am at rest in nature.

I learned to just keep to myself. When others notice or feel energy and they feel they don't like you or get uncomfortable it's because they don't know what energy is and how to handle it. You will meet someone whom understands and can connect with you. Let that person find you.