Help with emotionally deciphering the spiritual community?
I keep feeling like I should be interacting with places like this, or with individual people. But I feel sort of...at odds with the whole thing? Not that I disagree with people necessarily, but I feel like I'm hitting a more complicated emotional wall. It's hard to put words to. I'm gunna try anyways, maybe someone here has felt the same way?
I feel like I get this general, undefined feeling of aversion. It's like a big feeling made out of a lot of little things. Each little thing is something I think or feel or question about the spiritual community. Each thing is something I need to address and sort-out, because they're contributing to that unpleasant feeling. They each make sense on their own. I could articulate them just fine if they were individual thoughts. But the aversion feeling is made up of so many and it hits me all at once. I can't focus on them all at once!
It's like seeing a dust cloud where I can't see every individual speck of dust at once. I'm trying to understand the shape of each little speck, but to shift focus from the large cloud to one speck is overwhelming because the cloud wants to be felt all at once, right now! That's too much information. I feel like my brain is trying to squeeze an octopus through a pinhole.
It's difficult because even when I see spiritual pieces of writing or a video or something, while I'm reading or watching something will be said or I'll observe something that brings some of those thoughts, feelings and questions to the surface or generates new ones. But I'm getting handfuls of them occurring to me all at one time, in real time, and even more happening as I try to read on or keep watching. The big feeling will keep happening the entire time.
Does anyone know anything about this? Maybe someone's been through it before? I wasn't sure if it was a spiritual thing or something that could be considered more mundane but I haven't heard of mundane problems like this. Also, I've handled some pretty intense mundane problems and read some pretty dense stuff and dealing with several questions or variables or pieces of information to consider at once usually doesn't bother me like this at all. I'm usually pretty good at that. This only happens when I'm trying to interact with metaphysical spiritual community stuff so far. (Although if anyone did have a non-spiritual explanation I would appreciate those too.)
There is a lot of information out there and most of it is totally contradictory. Yes, it can be like opening a can of worms at times, which you wish you didn't do and everything seems downright confusing.
Have you ever considered meditation? Just trying to shut it all out and go within? If this is difficult for you, just focus on the breath. Practice being mindful and totally present with everyday mundane activities like eating and bathing...This is all that is really required.
I wish you all the best.
Agree with SD, and welcome too.
Try journalling,write down your thoughts and put pen to paper.
Nut out your thoughts,mull over it,process and process again,until you find some reasoning.
Not only is it cathartic,it will help lighten the load and put things into perspective.
Good luck.: )
i felt like, I wasn't going to be allowed in the door no matter which door I chose. And it hurt.
And I also felt like, the whole thing was wrong because if all this meant what they said it did, there would be concrete results in terms of making things better. And I wasn't seeing that.
So I was pretty much forced to ignore what everyone said and try to find my own way.
At a basic level it seems as if your beliefs about spirituality and the community that is causing you a problem. Particularly if you are at odds with the whole thing. It seems as though you have these opinions regardless of the engagement method. Do you think it's possible that your reluctance to engage is due to some combination of feelings that have developed into a mindset that spirituality forums etc are in some way inferior?
Just write the questions down as they come. Choose one and start looking for the answer. Probably what you are feeling is dissonance from what someone says and what you know to be true. You do not have to buy any one else's story or "how it is". You are to find your own description of "how it is".
only a suggestion
Maybe you're OCD or have social anxiety or something. Try balancing your electrolytes so you feel more balanced. If any issues persist then talk to someone in person.
I see this site as not people who have all the answers but who are offering support within a nonjudgmental community. Reading the various interesting posts is enjoyable and even more so when interactive.
There could be a number of reasons for this feeling. I will give some ideas but may be very wrong so nothing's written in stone!
One possibility is you may be coming up against concepts which you as yet have no personal experience of, yet you are a person who needs that in order to verify something.
So to you, even though you may try to keep an open mind, what you hear really sounds like so much "guff", on a gut level of processing information.
Sometimes if we hear about, or are exposed to something which is "out of time" (i.e. we will appreciate it one day but as yet we haven't reached that stage) -that can cause some mighty rejections and disharmonies.
I actually feel that is a good and natural thing to happen. Things occur when the time is right, and the ground laid right for planting something new. They simply can't flourish under unsuitable conditions at the time. And our most basic instincts reject them, even though our minds may wish to understand them!
I have had some horrible reactions from glimpses of things "out of time". I remember that from my late teens. For some reason (?) I was given flash glimpses into something I simply could not cope with the concept of....but which indeed occurred later in life. When they did occur, I had just developed enough to be able to handle them (though they were very difficult) But knew for a fact I couldn't have coped at the age when those inklings first came to me.
It would have been much easier on me if I had not experienced that "leak of information" out of time and space!
Another idea to look at is the possibility of a low self esteem, and some of the concepts you may feel (again on gut level, not rationally) -that you don't somehow deserve?
Or maybe you are the type of person who becomes overloaded when presented with too many choices, and variables?
There can also be sometimes a certain fear barrier. Seeing if you can find the source of that can be helpful, if you feel that applies to you (?)
Fear can attend even the most positive and life-altering new alignments.
The last three ideas, you could take a look at and see if they might apply?
As I said....just throwing out some ideas. They might, or might not apply to you.
Go well, and wishing you the very best.
There is so much info out there regarding spiritualism some may resonate with you others wont,
The best rule of thumb is to follow your instincts (gut feeling).
Everybody is different so your experiences will be to. has anything happened to make you question yourself so much?
I think going to a spiritualist church and just watch what goes on, will give you a better understanding of the questions you seek answers to.
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