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-   -   Normal or not normal (https://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/showthread.php?t=116776)

LibraIndigo 09-09-2017 02:49 AM

Normal or not normal
 
Is it normal for a friend of the same gender as you to want to talk on the phone every single day and get upset if they call you one day and you don't answer or miss calling them for a day

Blue Tiger 09-09-2017 03:35 AM

In my personal opinion, no that's not normal. That's clingy and demanding behavior.

A real friend would know and understand that everyone needs personal space and has a private lives. Calling every day is a bit much, but getting upset if you don't answer... that's way over the top.

Lorelyen 09-09-2017 05:48 AM

"Normal" is about statistics. I'd say this is on the rare side of average in which case it isn't normal but that's an assumption; difficult to conclude without a poll.


Hemera 09-09-2017 03:43 PM

No, that's needy and controlling behaviour. It doesnt matter what kind of relationship it is, it's not healthy for either of you.

Badcopyinc 09-09-2017 04:05 PM

I've been on both sides.

The need to not be alone with myself is comforted by exerting codependency on another. best form of therapy for codependancy is to be alone ironically. I've also absorbed this energy from others mistaken it for my own. (struggles of an empath)

I've been on the receiving end as well for years with a handful of people. It can be very very toxic. Especially when you want to help everyone because you will keep enabling thinking your helping when really your absorbing that lack of self love from them.

Every time i tried to convey this it was rarely taken well. Sometimes the healthiest thing to do is to create distance and tell them you need to re center and work on yourself.

Just make sure you don't feel guilt as a result of focusing on your well being.
If they truly care for you the initial reaction of abandonment and anger will reside and they will be supportive and hopefully will also start being introspective and decide to find the same self love you already have.


*If this friend is local to me, keep in mind its a normal thing around here.
This type of behavior is encouraged a lot around here and rarely viewed as unhealthy.

CrystalSong 09-09-2017 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LibraIndigo
Is it normal for a friend of the same gender as you to want to talk on the phone every single day and get upset if they call you one day and you don't answer or miss calling them for a day


Normal if one has an emotional vampire for a friend.
It sucks being a crutch for someone.
Know your limits and clearly state them. They will adapt and respect your space for find another 'crutch' to lean on.

Raziel 10-09-2017 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LibraIndigo
Is it normal for a friend of the same gender as you to want to talk on the phone every single day and get upset if they call you one day and you don't answer or miss calling them for a day


Your obviously very important to this person.

Are you a little too important? Possibly but you may just really matter to them.

If you have a family & they don't then they are being unfair. If you have a relationship & they don't then again they are being unfair.

If the person is just as important to you but you find it difficult to juggle them as well as everything else perhaps let them know that they are a top priority in your life but you have to juggle & that's just life.

It's nothing against them & you think about them & reference them in conversation with others etc.

It really depends on the circumstances but it's not always that they are trying to control you - it's one possibility depending on circumstance.

.

TheLovingLight 11-09-2017 02:21 PM

Hmm, I can't say it's really normal, but maybe this person really care about you and wants to talk to you. Maybe they think that you're the person that they enjoy talking to and be their self around.

Tuesday 17-09-2017 11:54 AM

If it's not clingy behaviour, it's normal. If it feels clingy and you don't enjoy the conversations, it's something that needs your attention. I have a friend with whom I text almost every day and she answers to me every day. It feels natural, and doesn't bother either one of us.

The questions is, do you enjoy the phone conversations? If not, then you should just let them know (either by saying or not answering the phone) that it's not okay for them to call you each day.

prasannatrust 03-10-2017 05:25 AM

Hmm, I can't say it's really normal, but maybe this person really care about you and wants to talk to you.


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