Can't let go
 

When one of my children is struggling I worry. I can't let go. I know I'm not in the Tao but I can't seem to let go and let them work things out on their own. They are 18 and 20 for gosh sakes.

I know I can only change myself. I can't tell the magic words to make them happy...but I persist in this illusion and I end up miserable. I have a hard time being balanced, calm and happy when my family members aren't. I get my feelings hurt; I get angry. Perhaps Tao is too far from my personality to experience.

Tao is wonderful as a philosophical ideal but how does one become it? How do you just be Tao if you are a regular human being? It's frustrating for me to hear the lofty wisdom of Taoists who seem to have it all together while I can barely even meditate.

If there Is such a thing as reincarnation and 'Old Souls' I'm definitely a 'Young Soul' - maybe only 6 years old.

I don't know if we can ever fully be Tao, it is always a learning process. My fiance' practices as well.

Letting our children go through lessons is hard, but the more we do for them, the less they can do for themselves. I wish you all the best in your journey.

Thank you Medium_Laura for your insight and compassion with me today. I also wish you the best. I am feeling much better as I have decided to stop trying so hard to understand Tao. I also went to an Alanon meeting and heard a lot about detachment and letting go... I appreciate you.

Windwhistle, what you feel is natural!

when you struggle against what occurs naturally, then you are being unnatural.

When you are hungry eat, when you are tired, lay down, when you feel sad, feel sad. Its the mental overlays
we put over what arises naturally that removes us from it, and makes it more difficult for us to accept. you are fine!
and feelings towards people you love is not the mark of one young in age who cannot recognize suffering.

you could never lose the Tao, you can only lose yourself.

Thank you Unus...what a beautiful, beautiful post...I learn much from souls such as yourself. Being natural is being Tao.

There is nothing but Tao, you cannot be any thing else, you can only believe you are something else and even that is Tao, just let go of all your mind traps and there you are in Tao, Realized that is.

Psychoslice...

Why do I rebel at letting go of all my mind traps? Answer...fear that I won't ever be able too. It sounds so good...but is very hard...

I don't know how.

While practicing meditation - you are letting go. While focusing on the breath, your mind releases its grasping and suffering falls away, constantly bringing yourself back to this when you see the grasping of the mind, is how . . . when thoughts and feelings arise, about your children, or anything, let them rise, express what you need to express in the moment you are faced with the situation . . . when the situation ends return to the breath to release the grasping . . . simple isn't it

when it comes to the ability to do this - the more you practice the more efficient you will become at the practice

This will take some effort and time.....a certain persistence and you will get through it.

"The Secret Of Letting Go by Guy Finley" will help you tap into your own inner strength.


The Tao is not distant at all, we simply make it so by all the beliefs we accept without discernment throughout life. So seek not the Tao! Seek instead to remove the false beliefs and the Tao will find YOU~

Make the commitment to SELF "I WILL GET THROUGH THIS, I WILL DO WHAT I MUST TO BREAK FREE"

Then begin practicing what is taught in that book. Along with a simple practice of meditation; stop thinking. Try to stop thinking as often as you can throughout each day. "One Minute Mind breaks" .........before your mind breaks! This will create SPACE for The Tao to return to your own conscious Awareness. Then Let IT guide YOU. :hug2:

In my experience of learning to let go, I think probably the most important part for me is trust. I personally believe in God, and I think Tao is an expression of living in God. After all, the disciples were first called ''followers of the Way''. Jesus taught a complete forsaking of all that we own, our relationships, and life. I think he definitely was wanting us to live in accord with the Tao.

I still struggle very much with letting go, mainly to do with my pride and fears. Trusting that God, or the Tao, if you like, does not want to hurt me, or cause me pain, but in fact only wants me to experience his/it's love, is something that I find very helpful to remember. It's a relationship that we have to the Tao, and we have to learn most importantly how to listen, trust, and follow it.

Now, I just need to remember these words when I next find God asking me to forsake my pride, greed, or fears. :smile: