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-   -   Please Help Me. I am losing my mind. (https://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/showthread.php?t=14805)

Faith1111 24-04-2011 01:54 AM

Please Help Me. I am losing my mind.
 
I don't know where to start. I cannot handle my twin flame connection anymore. I am overwhelmed. I cannot do anything. Nothing matters but him. Thoughts of him consume me. It physically hurts being away from him. I am lost in this pain. We cannot be together. We don't make sense. He's already in a relationship that he has no reason to leave. We can't be together, but we cannot let each other go. Our relationship has never been physical. We are very close friends though. So close we don't need words to explain our feelings to each other. We just know. When we are together, I cannot get close enough to him. We just drift together. When I first met him, I felt this connection. It was almost like electricity was buzzing between us. He makes me feel alive. When we are apart, I feel dead. Like I can't breath without him. He is all wrong for me, but it feels so right. When we hug, I never want to let go. I am physically attracted to him, but that's not what it's about. It's different. His eyes. No one makes me feel the way he does. I look in the mirror and I see him. I feel him all the time. I look at pictures and it's like he's really looking at me. It's creepy.

It's just getting harder and harder to deal with. I want more. It's never enough. I feel like I'm going to explode with all this pressure. It's a push pull. When I run, he comes after me and when he runs I go after him. We know we have to let it go, but we can't. I almost was able once, but just when I thought I was getting past it. He came back into my life like a shark attack. And now, it is worse than ever. He's running again and I'm just left with this never-ending pain. My heart hurts all the time, the only time it does not is when I'm with him. I have been getting these signs. Numbers mostly. 1111, 111, 555. All the time. He does too. I feel him pulling away right now and it is literally taking my breath away.

I cannot let this go. I feel like I'm going insane. I have this overwhelming feeling that we have to be together. That it's a live or die thing. I don't think we have a lot of time either. I think there is something very big happening. I don't know what to do though. I can't do anymore than I have. He knows how I feel, he doesn't tell me how he feels. I can tell when I look in his eyes though. We are supposed to be together NOW. But we both keep making choices that keep us apart. Our connection is just too intense for me. It is causing me physical pain. Sometimes I wish I never met him. Although he has changed my life. We are so similar but so different. We both felt dead inside before we met each other. We woke each other up. Just at different times. When he was ready, I wasn't. And so it keeps going. It's not even about wanting to be intimate with him. It's so much bigger. I feel like the only way we are going to stay alive is to be together as a whole. There is this overwhelming sense of urgency I feel too. There is no one after him. If I cannot be with him, I am never going to be with anyone else. That is how real our connection is. I don't know how he can stay in his current relationship. They don't have that.

I know this is long, but I'm really needing some advise. I love him so much, that I don't want him to hurt because of me. A friend of mine told me to kiss him or seduce him. I won't do that. I know if it were to happen, he would feel terrible about himself for cheating and I wouldn't want to be the cause of him feeling that way. I love him that much.

He didn't even tell me that he is breaking away from me. I just knew, know. It's a no win situation. I cannot be with him and I cannot be without him. I am stuck in this painful limbo. I hate it. What can I do to escape him? Can I even?

LadyImpreza1111 24-04-2011 06:08 AM

I understand all too well that it can be overwhelming at times, but you also have to look at the true purpose of the connection. If he is in a relationship then now is not the time for you two to be together no matter how much you might want it to be.

Twin souls can only make a relationship work successfully if they are entirely whole on their own. Under the underlying sense of urgency I see, I also see a touch of co-dependency which is not the purpose of this connection at all.

I want to be with my twin soul, but I don't have to be with him right this moment. If its in the cards for us to be together, it will fall into place when its meant to. And if its NOT meant to, nothing can force it to happen.

If its not time for you and your twin to be together, then maybe there are lessons you still need to learn.

Lady Valkyrie 24-04-2011 09:54 AM

((((hugs))))

I have had these sorts of feelings before, but the guy turned out not to be my twin, but a very close soulmate. I am now with my twin flame, and I don't get any of the sort of painful feelings. Things are very intense but everything goes so smoothly - touch wood.

I would say that if your twin soul is incarnate at the same time as you, AND it is the right time, it will just happen. Naturally. It can take time - I am 35 and met my TF at 34, after much heartache and a long time waiting. If it was the right time for you and this guy is indeed your TF, I do believe it would just happen. Are you sure the feeling of time running out isn't just to do with subconscious thoughts of 2012 and what it might mean? Or your own biological clock ticking?

I agree with the OP that if he is in another relationship and not likely to leave it any time soon, it is simply not the right time - and this may mean inner work for you, because it would suggest that there are lessons still to learn - and this requires being brutally honest with oneself in terms of your own development. Bear in mind though that even when you have worked all you can on yourself in readiness for a relationship, HE may still have lessons to learn from his other relationship.

They say that 2011 is the year of twin souls getting together anchoring the love vibration in anticipation of the energy shifts of 2012: it may be a "pull" to this you are feeling, but if either or both of you are not ready, you're not ready, and there will be lots of other twin souls who ARE ready to facilitate this anchoring of love.

However having said all this I DO understand your pain as I have been there with a guy with whom I felt a very overwhelming connection I had not experienced with anyone before (hence believing so strongly for a long time that he was my twin soul). We had past life connections too but it was simply not meant to be in this lifetime, though, I have found now, I did have karma to redress. I can now distinguish him from my twin because before I met my twin I had astral experiences/meetings with him that prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that I really am with the right person now. If you HAVE had such experiences and are still sure he is your twin soul, then the only things imo to suggest are:
- Looking at yourself: is your heart (energetically) fully healed and ready for a relationship? Is your self-esteem high? Do you love yourself? Are you emotionally available? Look deeper into these questions and be really honest with yourself. You can call on Archangel Chamuel for help.
- Telling him how you feel. Yes, he's in a relationship, but there is always a place for honesty, and you would know in your heart when the right time for that would be. I once read (when I was in the aforementioned situation) that the pain that comes of unrequited love and similar situations is the pain of NOT EXPRESSING your love. If you can tell him, you have told him. What he does with it is up to him, but you will have expressed your love. If you can touch his life in any small way with your kindnesses and compassion and willingness to allow him to be free, it will stack up energetically and be a healing experience for you.

I really hope you can find a way to be happy. I have a good feeling for you but I think resolutions may come in surprising ways, as they eventually did for me.

mystical 24-04-2011 10:00 AM

i do know how u feel , , mine got me to the point of a breakdown , and i was just how u are now , its a very long hard painful road with tf , and the more sumone tells u to let go the more u wnat to scream because its not thro wnat of not trying all i can say is , this is all for a reaosn and only u will know that reaosn and why when the timing is right , there is no quick fix solution sadly :( for me it took 2 years to go thro this , but im lucky now that most of my karma has been dealt with and i have also healed on so many levels , u need to feel this pain ok , i know thats painful to understand but its how we grow , u need to be gentle on yourself but sadly at tiems liek this all we can think of is how much it hurts, it can drive u to the point of total insanity , you cant eat , sleep , u cnat even smile without then thinking of them , every thing will remind u and it seems as tho it wont go away ,u have to turn this conenction around and use it in a psoitive way , for me this forum helped a great great deal because i knew then that i wasnt crazy , u clearly have sum work to do on yourself , so try and focus all ur energies into u , after all the tf connection is about the self , he is there to show u urself , we put all our energies into them but really they are us sp they show us what we need to do , noone can ever break this connection , he will also be teahcing u that u dont need to rely on anyone but urself , your self confidence levels are low right now because all u cna think of are him , how u need him , until u realise that u DONT need him but are blessed to have him things wil feel better, i still have a long way to go yet but im out of the dark forest and out of the stage u are now , and i look back and shudder now that i let myself get dragged down like that , instea dnow i accept the conenction for all the reasons i know of and it has helped me work on me , put yourself first be gentle , and know that this connection can never be lost , we cnat push anything we all need patience xx

Faith1111 24-04-2011 02:19 PM

I have considered that he may not be my tf. But, I just can't let it go. I'm not sure it's a co dependency thing really. I don't need to be with him all the time. We just need to be together as in we are okay with things. I can go weeks without seeing him or months as long as I know our bond is still there. It only hurts like this when he tries or I try to break away completely. It's this pulling inside my chest. It feels like he is literally trying to pull my heart out of my chest or pull me to him. I don't know. It's a real pain though that doesn't go away. I don't feel it when I'm with him and I don't feel it things are okay with us. It's only when we are like this, out of balance.

I still feel it even when I'm busy or having fun. Sometimes it's stronger than ever. I feel like he needs me even though he is pushing me away? I'm not the kind of person to chase someone though. This is very new for me.

If I'm supposed to let him go, why do I feel like this? Everytime I feel comfortable with the decision to let him go. I get all these signs that I'm not supposed to and everything just feels out of balance. The pulling feeling just gets worse.

Honestly, I don't like this. I don't want to be connected to him anymore. I even feel his anger and he has a lot of anger. It's something we've talked about a lot. I'm not used to feeling anger. I'm not like that. It's one of the things that I help him with. I calm him down, make him feel peace. But, lately I cannot tell what feelings are mine and what are his. I am angry, sad, anxious a lot of the time. With sporadic moments of blissful happiness. It's too much. My brain cannot take it.

This awakening for me has been both a blessing and a nightmare. Since I woke up, everything is different. I almost feel like Jim Carrey in The Truman Show. I look at the sky and it just looks so different. It's hard to explain. It's like I see everything now. I feel like someone is trying to reach me too. Mostly through music and numbers. Some songs will jump out at me. It's like they are playing just for me no matter where I am. I've been having premonitions too. I have always been able to feel other people's emotions, but now I can more than ever. I just want to hide away in my room in the dark and put on white noise. I cannot bear it. I don't mean to complain, but I have no idea why God would believe that I am ready for this. I do not feel ready.

mystical 24-04-2011 02:45 PM

im the same with mine , im ok if i dont see him , even if i had just had the occasional hey how are u text , that would be enough because then i know we are ok , as much as we dont wnat this we have it im afraid , it is so so hard i know , and i do know how u feel , :( when i cut off i get signs galore form the universe that JUST WONT LET ME FORGET , but im not suppose to forget , it use to really crucify me not being wiht him in the physical , there was many of days when only he could take this pain away but im more stronger in myself now ,sometimes my head would tell me to ignore him and i would try but then my heart would remember him smiling :( and instantly all the days effort of trying was undone , and once more i was back in despair , it sounds as tho you are in soul shock , i really do sympathise with you because its awful , but there is nothing we can do , u try to cut off u will end up numb and altho it helps you start to get lost , i ended upw ith post traumatic stress and almost became a alcoholic because for me drink numbed the pain or at least tried , everywhere will loook different now because you have ascended , friends will fall by the way side , u will outgrow all that doesnt serve you and irt seems sad that sometimes this connection seems as tho it is doig more harm than good , but i promise you in time it will get better , i never thought i would be where i am at now and it took me to great lengths of despair , ones i never thought i would ever recover from

i have ended up with mental issues and disorders because of this but u know , its ok because those issues needed to be addressed , sometimes i wish i could rewind my life back to the month i met him , because i was doing ok , but then when i think about it i relasie that altho it ghas been so hard and soul destroying i am glad i met him because he showed me how to love and love does hurt its a fact , do i regret meeting him now? no because for the first time in my life i experienced sumthing beyond my wildest dreams sadly beyond all my worst nightmares also but with light there is always dark , we have to experiece this on all sides , because a twin flame love knows no boundaries and if and when your meant to be together in the physical then it has to be right with no restrictions or conditions present , since meeting my twin i have awoken to the sound of music , i get lyrics which relate to me and him , i get numbers galore my gosh lol the last time he came bk properly we met on dates like 02 02 2010 etc , , u sound so much like i was and funnily enough today i have once more tried to ignore him and then i read ur last post , so again im not allowed to forget , instead now i smile and wait patiently because i have no choice ,i caused my self more pain in the long run by trying to fight this

AngelBreeze 24-04-2011 02:57 PM

Warm greetings, Faith1111,

It appears that part of your heartache may lie in the fact that you feel that it is you who must take some kind of action on this matter. That is not necessarily so. As with any relationship there are Two people involved. Therefore, do not be so hard on yourself all the time worrying about this situation. Step back, leave it in the hands of God and pray for a quick resolution!

There is a great saying that surely appears to apply here and at this time. Heed it and remember that you are Stronger than the adversity you are now facing. You Will Come Out Stronger For It!

"If you love something let it go, if it comes back to you it is yours. If it doesn't it never was."

I have never found out who wrote this and perhaps it is by an anonymous writer but it says all and in situations such as this, it makes good sense to take it to heart instead of trying to break it.

May God Bless You Always, dear one! A beautiful heart such as yours was not meant to be burdened with this. All is in Divine order. Please understand that what will ultimately happen is for your highest and best good and that of all concerned. :hug:

Deus tecum, (\o/) AngelBreeze (\o/)

"For many deceivers are entered into the world, who confess not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh. This is a deceiver and an anti-Christ." -- II JOHN 1:7 (KJV)

"Whosoever transgresseth, and abideth not in the doctrine of Christ, hath not God. He that abideth in the doctrine of Christ, he hath both the Father and the Son." -- II JOHN 9 (KJV)

senta257 24-04-2011 04:08 PM

I've been going through the same for several years already, although I'm not sure I would call it a twin flame thing.
No matter the terminology, it's an extremely strong connection with someone who is all wrong for me and although it's almost impossible to think that we could ever be together, I'm not allowed to forget or move on. I also get all the signs, as well as a very strong pain in my heart chakra whenever I'm trying to break the connection.

Anybody has an idea of what the point of all this is?
Some spiritual growth apparently but concretely what?

I do love him despite all the things that I believed I would never tolerate anyone. Yet I'm not chasing after him, would never allow him to deprive me of my self-worth and I can imagine living my life without him which is exactly what I'm actually also doing.
I can get him off my mind, but still there are the signs and still there is the pain.

So Why? What else is one supposed to do?

lily18 24-04-2011 04:28 PM

Oh, so sorry Hon.I empathize with you. I went through a divorce after 20 years with whom I considered my soul-mate, and a painful breakup after 2 years with another. I was literally suicidal. I know the pain of it, but twin flame or not, you need your own time to grow spiritually. Sometimes both need time apart to grow. It helped me a lot to essentially allow my guides and divine energy handle the whole situation. I had to put it in their hands entirely and find my own path.
Please don't allow this to overwhelm you as it did me. Remember, we are all one, not al one.Obviously you are empathetic and your brain is searching for answers in the music and numbers. Tell your divine energy (God) to allow only what you need to know, and surround yourself with white light from the One wherever you go.
As for Senta, we are here on this Earth Plane to learn. Everything, everything is a lesson.

Namaste

Lilstar07 24-04-2011 04:43 PM

Faith1111

I have been through EXACTLY the same situation. Becames best friends with him but he had a girlfirend. I know, trust me i cerrrrtainly know how hard this is! It even got to the point where when she would hurt HIM it would hurt me. To this day I dotn think he understood how much his relationships with others also effected me. I'd feel sudden anger for no reason, only to find out that they had an argument earlier. I even knew things about his girlfriend that he never even told me! I also felt his guilt when he began to fall for me too, but he didnt want to hurt her or me. As im typing this now I'm coming to the understanding of how hard it must of been and is for him and how confused he must be. I know this is gonna make me sound a bit mean but when you said "don't know how he can stay in his current relationship. They don't have that. " I know exactly what your saying,but with him it was like this gurl was the best girl he ever had at the time and what they had was good...then he began to see it wasnt real (there was a lot of lying and manipulation) but then hes with me it was almost PERFECT and what we had was GREAT...but if hes seen that something mediocre and 'normal' cant be real ,how do i expect him to think something as amazing as what we shared was!lol wow I'm rambling on right now sorry.

In a nutshell, I guess what I'm trying to say is, If its this bad for us (the ones who are more in tune with this sort of thing) imagine how hard it must be for them! you are only going through half of what he is. Look after him.

I shall PM you :)


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