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-   -   Difficult situation (https://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/showthread.php?t=104116)

muzamilsa 02-08-2016 06:24 AM

Difficult situation
 
Hi All,

I am in a relationship with a girl and willing to marry her, but his brother is the obstacle over here.

My family spoke to her brother and even I pinged him, he said he will revert back with the answer on yes or no, on the marriage proposal.

Yet he didn't have a word on yes or no.

Girl said his brother is not willing to send her far to the other state.

I live in other state which is around 1500 km from her's.

I was just worried about what will happen next ?...

Morrigan 02-08-2016 07:51 AM

Why is it anything to do with her brother whether you get married or not? Does she have a say in the matter? Is this a religious issue?

Lorelyen 02-08-2016 09:01 AM

I'm not sure what you mean. You speak of a girl and "his" brother.

Quote:

I am in a relationship with a girl and willing to marry her, but his brother is the obstacle over here.
???

muzamilsa 02-08-2016 09:54 AM

In our tradition we need consent of the family to get married, girls cant make independent decisions ... :(

shoni7510 02-08-2016 10:06 AM

That is a tricky situation then...

muzamilsa 02-08-2016 11:35 AM

Yes and he is the elder brother which I forgot to mention.

Lorelyen 03-08-2016 08:57 AM

Sounds like you're dealing with deeply rooted cultural traditions. To find out what happens next, have a look at as many similar cases as you can.

....

muzamilsa 04-08-2016 11:06 PM

I am starting to give up, her brother said no I tried my level best.
Now girl is reluctant to go against family so I am not sure... But she wants to talk even aftr this...
I said I dont want to talk to her... But couldnt help talking to her....
My best friend advised me to leave itt...he said if the girl really wants you then she will take steps...
So now I wont do anything which undermine my self worth in her family..

AHIYAH 05-08-2016 07:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by muzamilsa
I am starting to give up, her brother said no I tried my level best.
Now girl is reluctant to go against family so I am not sure... But she wants to talk even aftr this...
I said I dont want to talk to her... But couldnt help talking to her....
My best friend advised me to leave itt...he said if the girl really wants you then she will take steps...
So now I wont do anything which undermine my self worth in her family..

At least you can keep in contact with her. I wonder if the brother said no because you might be taking her away from her family. It would be hard for us to give an informed answer to this since we don't know all the details. Have you asked the brother why he said no? Are they Samoa?

Lorelyen 05-08-2016 04:20 PM

It'll need care; diplomacy. Her family (well, the males in her family) obviously own her so she isn't anyone else's property to take. You both need to take care if her brothers decide she's got to marry someone else.

I have nothing good to say about these oppressive coercive arrangements but they do exist and this sounds like it. So take care, eh?

....


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