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-   -   I don't think I will ever be happy here (https://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/showthread.php?t=125285)

Colorado 21-09-2018 02:21 AM

I don't think I will ever be happy here
 
But, I make the best of it. I try my best, and my friends still think I exude happiness, but my friends still think I am not happy. I put on a happy face, and positivity....but those who truly know me...see underneath, even when I don't. You can never experience the after life, God, and your true home...and experience true happiness here, I guess. I can't imagine anything other than home, like being away as a kid, at a juvenile summer camp. When you are home you never feel unwanted, unloved, or inadequate in any way...your spirit is free. You can't baul out, you can't quit early, or will yourself to death. You just gotta do it. It's what keeps me going forward, I got a glimpse of the after life, our home life....and right now, there's a song on a movie in the living g room playing on a movie....it's because you loved me. How ironic, I'm in my bedroom and it's playing loud...God bless, the road is long...and if you knew��how great home was...you wouldn't want to be here. God knows what he/ she is doing by not letting you see everything right now...

Michelle11 21-09-2018 09:04 AM

When I was a little kid I use to feel homesick even when I was at home. I could never understand that until I got older. I'm honestly not a fan of this experience mainly because I have struggled my whole life to feel good. Like you I pretend to be happy when in general there is a lot of disappoint. that isn't to say I can't enjoy a good laugh but in general I feel life is not a pleasant experience. That said, I am aware that I chose this life to work on me and focus on clearing the deep rooted limiting beliefs that have been holding me back from thriving and living life with abandon. I have gotten the message that life can be like heaven on earth but for some we chose tougher lives so that future lives we can thrive. So this life of mine didn't turn out to be what I expected especially in regards to what I thought my life should look like but I am doing the self work my soul set out to do so hopefully future lives feel honestly happier.

That said, I wasn't able to start to clear my limiting beliefs until I got truly honest with myself about how I felt so it is good you are honest and it does sound like you are trying to make the best of it. If you haven't already maybe try and ask your soul what is holding you back from being honestly happy. There may be something there that can be shifted that will help change your perception. I am aware now that most of my life was spent just trying to feel better but not exploring why I felt bad in the first place. It's not just the feelings we need to heal but our misguided thoughts that feed the feelings. Getting curious about our emotions and moods can help us root out the misguided thoughts that are holding us hostage. Well anyway I do hope you can find heaven on earth one day. You do deserve to feel honestly happy. Hugs

soulforce 21-09-2018 07:35 PM

Hi Colorado,

I feel for you buddy. Life is a mix bag. It can get pretty depressing down here at times. I struggled with depression off and on my entire life as well. It has got in the way of my happiness, but it's not immutable. There is an old saying. "Home is where the heart is". Home is our refuge from the pitfalls of life.

But here's another truth. You never left home. You're always home no matter where your body takes you. Your Spirit (higher-self) is already on the other side. It's the voice you hear in your head encouraging you to never quit. It's the one who holds you when you're hurt. You are connected with Source and past loved ones through your higher-self. I think there is a misconception that you have to die in order to experience the other side. But you need to ask yourself this question. If we know spirits on the other side can come to us (the living), than why can't we go to them without dying too (we do all the time without ever realizing it)?

When my mom had her NDE, my sister and I persuaded her from going all the way. We begged her to not leave us. And she stayed. I have no memory of ever doing this for her, but my mother told me that's what we did to convince her to stay.

Therefore my higher self was there with my mom's spirit reminding her that her mission on earth is to be our mother. She remembered it and willingly came back. Since then her life hasn't always been easy. I'm sure there were times she wished she stayed (my sister and I were brats), but now she knows how to connect with her higher self so that she can bring that happiness now while she is a live.

I miss my soul family dearly. I miss the knowledge I use to have and the immediate connection I had with everyone I use to know. They're days when I wished I could jump out of my body and glide back home. Then I take a sec and remember I'm already on the other side. I look within myself and speak to that higher version of myself and ask for guidance and support. It happens. For you it came through a song. That song is a message for you to remember this: always remember that you are loved, cherished, accepted, and never alone. Feel free to explore this world, and discover your mission. Take the opportunity to let love in. Don't pursue happiness, or think it will pursue you. Let it in when it comes. That's it. The same goes for love.

Be well my friend,

sf

linen53 21-09-2018 10:23 PM

I keep putting one foot in front of the other but I'm really tired and can't wait until this lifetime is over. But apparently, it's not my time yet.

Native spirit 22-09-2018 12:13 AM

Life is not easy and some of us suffer more than others through it.but you just have to make the best of it whilst you are still here.you wont go until it is your time. so try to make life as happy as you can.


Namaste


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