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TuesdaysChild 01-01-2017 10:48 AM

My NDE Experience
 
I became very ill and went into organ failure 2 years ago. I was rushed to ICU and I was too unstable to make it to the operating room so they performed emergency surgery on me in the ICU. I had less than 5% chance to live.

First, I heard one doctor say my name and ask me to respond. Next thing I knew I was outside of my body but saw my face and my hair fanned out over the pillow. There were 7 medical personnel in scrubs around me and one running around gathering surgical equipment. I saw my body and it was the most neutral feeling. I didn't feel anything for it; nothing good or bad. Indifferent sounds too cold of a word. I've tried to use the analogy of it being a car and the "me" was my soul, the driver. Even then, it's too cold. It was as normal to look at myself as me looking at my arm and thinking "there's my arm", except it wasn't "me". "Me" was my consciousness that survived my physical death.

I walked over to the corner of the room. In the corner appeared a tube, some might call it a tunnel in their NDE experience. It looked flesh coloured and sort of transparent. It went through the ceiling. When I looked up into it, there was the bright, but soft and non-blinding, light. I began to float into and up the tube/tunnel. The tube was about 3 feet in diameter. I was about 3 feet off of the ground and began to feel each of my ankles being gripped by invisible hands. I became extremely frustrated because I wanted to go up but something kept me down. I was kicking my feet and telepathically telling whatever it was to let me go. At the same time, never did it occur to me that I was dead/dying. I didn't think "I don't want to go back!". None of that. I was curious and wanted to see what was beyond the ceiling. The light was warm and inviting and going to it was a natural thing. Again, I so readily accepted that it was my consciousness that was "me", my mind and my thoughts were my soul and that was who I was. Yet the force keeping me down by holding my ankles was stronger than my ability to ascend. Everything then faded to black.

I woke up 3 weeks later and remembered this immediately but only later was told how I had been so unstable that they had to make due with surgery in the ICU or lose me. They didn't have to tell me though. I knew. The first thing I said was that I didn't get to see my Dad and someone was preventing me from leaving and I was angry about it. Overwhelmingly angry. The doctors did their job well, as they brought me back from dismal odds and I guess my body was strong enough to fight the rest of it. I had to learn how to walk again, brush my hair, etc. I am still recovering today and had my last surgery in November. I'm hoping to be back in the saddle by my exact 2 year anniversary. It's been a long and difficult haul.

I feel blessed to have been given the knowledge that who we are survives physical death. Yet I also feel let down. I wonder what was holding my ankles down, and why? There was such a desperation to it. It was a life or death grip with cold hands that would not let go. When I think of it, I sometimes become enraged. I feel like it had no right to interfere - which is not rational to me and yet that's how I feel. Do spirits have that ability or was it the medical team bringing me back? I wonder too why I wasn't greeted by ANYONE when I left my body. I always believed that to be the case. Also, why do some people get to make the choice and not others? I didn't even get past the bright light. I feel sort of ripped off. Why am I so angry about it? I got to live, so I'm confused by my anger and resentment on whoever/whatever that was holding me down. These are the thoughts/questions I have that keep me up sometimes and occupy my mind a lot. I'm sort of all over the place with this, but one thing is certain - I've changed. There is a stillness in me where there once was upset and fear. I am not afraid of dying but I don't want my life here to end yet, either. I know I'm not done here but the world here seems colder and more bleak than ever before. I feel like I am on the precipice of incredible personal power, but it scares me like you wouldn't believe. I also know that my soul, me, chose all of this trauma in order for me to learn. I still haven't figured out what it is, or why it is, that we need to learn and we have to do so by suffering. So I'm more curious than ever before and stymied as to where I can try to search for these answers.

MARDAV70 02-01-2017 04:51 PM

Thanks much, TuesdaysChild, for sharing your NDE...and welcome to the forum.

Yep, same thing happened to right after my NDE. When my consciousness returned to my body and I opened my eyes and I saw that EMT tech feverishly working on me...all I thought was..."dog gone it...why'd you have to bring me back here?"...lol. And, yeah...I was a little teed off about not being able to stay in that wonderful place. Also, I saw no others, no bright light. I did see trees and plants and felt welcome and love from them.

Well...here I am, and I don't know whether there's a reason why I'm back or it's just due to the actions of a very able EMT. Whatever, I wish I'd never been revived. I look forward to leaving this plane and the sooner the better. I'm 68. I have no children and everyone close to me is around my age or older...so that's part of why I hope it's soon. If I had children/grand children I might feel differently. Maybe. The other part is the "bleakness" of the self centered materialistic world society has created.

The car and driver analogy is an excellent one and was the same one I used to explain body and consciousness.

Namaste, TuesdaysChild...!

TuesdaysChild 03-01-2017 03:55 AM

Thank you so much for responding! It is really important for my growth and healing to connect with other NDE'ers. My mother also had one when I was a baby. At some point, I will probably share my and my sister's experience as we stood over her when she died in '03. I have always known there is life after life. She even came to me twice within the month after she died to warn me about an issue about her grave marker and another where she told me to get to her house right away because there was an attempted break in and the basement window was smashed. Low and behold, each proved true.

At the same time that I was having my NDE, my sister was jolted awake by my deceased parents and grandparents. She saw one big mist or wraith that was not one spirit but several. She recognized their energy and they were persistent in waking her up. They spoke to her in feeling and by pushing her into the mattress to wake her up. She said the feeling was serious, but not frightening. It was a warning. She didn't know I was in the hospital or ill. However she woke, checked her phone and there were messages telling her that there was an emergency and that I was in emergency surgery.

As well, that same night my aunt was in Florida and my father came to her in a dream telling her that she had to go, now, because I was coming. I guess he was saying that she had to fly back and that I was dying. My parents and especially my Dad were very busy warning my living family.

It's not the first time that my father showed up and displayed immense spiritual power during times of crisis. I can't talk about this outside of family so whenever I get the chance I can't stop. I have had so many experiences too that I am about to burst at the seams if I can't find like minded people to discuss these with!

MARDAV70 03-01-2017 02:42 PM

You're welcome...! Your family sounds very spiritually connected. Thanks for sharing with us more fascinating spiritual events you've encountered. Here at SF, you're free to talk about these things without fear of ridicule, so whatever you'd like to share about your experiences is greatly appreciated. Sharing is how we learn.

At the time of my NDE I was of the opinion that when you're dead...you're dead...that's it...no afterlife. I'd been raised Christian, but logical reasoning and trusting science took me to reject anything that couldn't be proven, even though I was open minded. Ha ha...since my NDE I've found there's far more to existence than what science can observe...even many quantum physicists seem to be indicating that. I still have great respect for scientific research...but science doesn't have all the answers, yet. We're probably a long, long way from that.

For me, that my NDE was indeed a real experience is that during it I experienced a "wholeness" and sensed a state of being far more intense than "this existence". How about you, did you feel anything similar?

-NorthernLights- 09-01-2017 08:02 AM

I enjoyed reading your account - thank you...

Silver 09-01-2017 08:17 AM

What a beautiful account of your NDE, TC. Thank you so much for sharing it.
My feelings are that you weren't allowed to 'know' who was holding onto your ankles (it could very well have been your sister, fwiw).
If you've ever studied any Buddhism, you'll have learned about the unhealthy clinging we do to people, things, whatev. I think that's what you're doing about not being allowed to go further up the tube. Obviously, someone with 'power' felt it important to keep you on beloved Planet Earth - for now.
Your story was well told and I too enjoyed it a lot.

bartholomew 11-01-2017 12:49 AM

The human soul is of and resides on the plane of souls, an area of the higher mental plane. The soul projects a part of itself to a physical body/personality during a lifetime on Earth. It is important to understand that only a bit of our soul is with us when we are alive here on Earth. Most of the soul energy is to be found on it's own plane usually in a meditative pose. Connecting the two is a stream of energy that some call the silver cord. You nearly died but your soul knew that you would not and this was the reason you were prevented from leaving. Remember please that it is your soul witch sets purpose during incarnations. The souls of your late relatives knew you were to stay a bit longer too.

Do we say I died and my soul left my body? Say rather I died and my soul brought it's connection back to itself. Only the connection to the body will leave at death. The soul never leaves it's own plane.

As a review it is good and helpful to remember the relationship between a personality and a soul. The soul is not really eternal but it has an extremely long lifetime by our Earth standards. Our personalities are mostly of the Earth. Genetic traits and circumstance are the main modifiers. Each body has a different personality but none of these is what the soul is. We live several thousand physical lifetimes on planets. As we progress our soul is capable of remembering and using each of them as desired. The "me" lives once. The soul is a composite of all the "mes" that came before. On it's own plane a soul may choose to appear garbed in any of the many, many bodies that it has occupied in it's long history.

This is worthy of note here because we are helped by understanding that our present sense of personal identity as it is in the present lifetime will perish along with the body. This is not immediate though. After we return to our native spiritual plane we take with us the memories of the lifetime past. Here we are perfectly capable of imitating or "dressing up" in any of the personalities that we have used in the past but all of those personalities are gone. They are products of the flesh and they go the way of the flesh. This is not a burden though. It is a great boon. Now we experience a feeling of liberation that was never possible before.

It is our souls who determine our life purpose; goals to be met. Except by unplanned accident the soul will not break it's connection to the current body/personality until the correct time. It is my belief, based on my own experiences, that this is the reason you are still here.

Lastly please consider this. While in physical form we tend to be egocentric. That is to say we identify as "me". And we often will say that "I have a soul too" as though the soul was something that was subservient to the personality. It is just the opposite. It is the personality, the "me" which serves the soul. Understanding this helps us a great deal to understand everything else we may learn about our spiritual selves.

You have had an experience that most of us do not have. Is there a meaning? Yes. It is possible that there is. These would be the topics of much longer themes but since we do not know if they apply it is not helpful to speculate here. There are ways to find the truth of it though. Perhaps the best one is through a developed practice of high meditation. Learn to go as far away from the astral as possible and stay there for a time each day. Here is where you will establish a real contact with your spiritual guide. But as I said learn to rise far above the astral. If you do not you will be fooled by the trickster coyote of Native American fame. The astral plane is not called the "glamours one" without good reason.

At death our relatives commonly arrive to greet us home. Remember though that these are the souls which once used those bodies/personalities for a lifetime. They could as easily appear as they were in some other lifetime. You would not recognize them of course so they don't do this. I am trying to stress the difference between personalities which are temporary and the soul, the overself, which is not.

I enjoyed reading your story. Everything you say rings true. I hope I have offered some bits which you will find helpful.

shoresh 15-01-2017 03:25 AM

Thanks Tuesdays Child for sharing. I feel like I am residing on a foreign cold rock now. I still beg to be taken back...but I find lucid dreaming/obe helps the pressure from being here...


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