A little of my Poetry...
 

Back in 1981 I lost my first husband tragically in a road accident... last night going through some of my old photo's etc, i found some poetry that I had written back then.....here are a few that i wrote in the early time of his passing, i was 24 at the time.....


LOST

Besieged by a feeling of loss,
I can't find myself, though I
keep searching.
Where have I gone?
I thought I had found me but
I slipped out of reach.
I feel desolate, an emptiness within
I need to know myself and feel
whole again.
This half person wanders aimlessly
into the days that seem dark as
night.
I know Im shining somewhere,
if only I could see the light.

Nikki f. (dragonfly1)

CONFUSION

The shores of my mind are savaged
by the relentless sea of confusion.
battered and torn are the rocks of reason,
are they slipping into a fine misty sand
of unreality?
What is to become of this fine but
shattered coast of my mind?
Will the tide go out and give it calm?
Or, will it relentlessly wash the pain back
and crush its sanity forever....

by Nikki f. (dragonfly1)

SELF DEFEAT

Fruitless endeavours bind my soul
to this endless search for serenity,
why can't it be mine?
Ive lost for long enough.
bound by my relentless pitiful being,
I blunder on to the next happening.
I'm falling into a bottomless pit of self defeat,
who can save me now?
Am I living but already dead?

Nikki f.

SELF PITY

To lose is my affliction, but who
served me this damned conviction?
Where do I go from here, all my self
assurance has burned into a dulling ember.
I thought I had won, but I've found to win
is to only want more, so have I lost again?
This self pity is eating me away,
make it crumble and melt into self reliance,
to be strong, if only I could.
Release me from this prison of hopelessness.

Nikki f.

LAUGHING?

I'm laughing out loud
crying within,
happy as a new sprout,
withered and dim.
Who am I fooling, only me,
do i know the reality of my
inadequacy?
I'll smile for you, joke and frolic,
but in reality, a perpetual sadaholic.

nikki f.

HAUNTED

I want to make you happy
but your faceless features
daunt me, who are you?
the one I need?
You haunt me when I least
expect it, then leave me full
of regret.
I search in the shadows of my
thoughts, but the darkness
overbears me.
Save me from this torment, leave
me in my gloom.
Im safe within my limits, you're
my impending doom; but i want
to make you happy, I can't bear
the confusion.
Who are you faceless feature?
just leave me in my gloom.

Nikki f.

HOPE

Is life so black, i can't see beyond
myself? there's a world of beautiful
music, colours and sound, why do
I go about with my head buried
underground?
I stop, I listen, for the first time i see
there are other things more important
than feeling sorrow for me.
Look to tomorrow, but find yourself
today, life is boundless wonder, not
hollow and gray.
Let that torment escape you,
you can discard it if you try;
don't fear for your heart to open
don't be hasty to hide in the
falseness of psychic armoury,
Spread your wings and fly!
(be free).........

Nikki f.

There are more, but deeply personal....I lost quite a few of my earlier poems in moving house....they were quite dark...it was a deeply sorrow filled time, and i learned quite a lot from that experience....God gives us wisdom through the darkest times....many blessings......

Their beautiful words, everyone of them, and I have to tell you, i was chocked up reading them, you are brave to share them.:hug3:

Aww, thank you Robert...((hugs))..xx