That is a demonic guy in and out of your neck. Just think about it; youre suffocating on harassment waiting for him to let go, and a "vast" angel comes to help you. That guy (BY himself or with a mother, woman friend or another close entity) is ridiculously out to destroy you. He might even claim you were asking him directly if there was any love left in your soul you can hold onto (as far as the relationship). He might even say, you were feeding on yourself (you believe what you want to believe in whatever silence is there)

Especially if he's self absorbed.

He was right there choking you out.


I would go to church.

I think that these past weeks my biggest realization to all of this is that I thought that my healing abilities were enough to remove all that darkness in my life. For years too many people fed on my giving nature.

Since the day my Greater Self was revealed to me, she kept saying that her energy is so abundant and I can incorporate this part of my soul everyday without limitations. As I continue merging with this part of my soul that was somehow intact from all the trouble of this lifetime and the past ones, I notice now the difference, I can now remove more easily negativity around me.

I feel less and less the desire to leave this physical plane and just focus on my work in the present moment.

I still feel a level of sadness and disappointment and even regret for having met narcissistic selfish people online for years, but it is getting better. At some point it will only be a vague memory...

I am not religious, so I do not feel drawn to any godly figure of any doctrine but I respect the beliefs and practices of others. I only believe in the true nature of our souls, which is love and our own inner power, more now that I have seen it and felt it.

Hi Blue,

Thanks so much for sharing your experience! :smile: Your post was very raw and very beautiful. It also resonated with me and my current situation. Plus, you remind me of myself. :biggrin: Anyway, I'm sorry for what you experienced! I don't think 'sorry' is enough, but it's beautiful the way you transcended and transmuted that negativity. I'm sure your progress will continue. Congratulations on your blessing! You're truly beautiful. :hug:

You are very sweet lancing! Thanks a lot for the encouragement.

I had another almost unavoidable argument with this person, but I feel like there are still attachments that need to be cut, so the process is still ongoing, but I am becoming as distant as possible when this person tries to manipulate me of giving him love.

For the first time after this argument and making it more and more clear that I do not want anything even if there are threats again, I did not cry and I am not going back to that cycle of intense depression I used to fall into every time there was a fight and a very long period of separation.

I saw for the first time very clearly that there was no need to feel guilty about my message and even less the need to fall back into that kind of crippling deppression.

There are moments when I still feel bad to see happy couples around me, something I never got to enjoy in life...but what I came to realize is that I attracted all these abusive people because I never learned to defend myself, to protect myself and even less to be protected by anyone, being that I was extremely abused within my biological family.

I felt miserable for years for not having a real family, for not having one single friend, and for being treated like garbage by this man.

I know that I will still have my moments, but I am enjoying more the silence and my mind is becoming more focused on certain projects.

Double post
 

:icon_eek: :D :D

What makes us uncomfortable,is what we have to face and resolve.

And times of trials,we begin to learn to stand on our own two feet.

You'll only grow stronger.

Enjoy the process.

Take care.