Determined or Asking too much of self?
 

I am in a bad Bind!
I went to a place I need to leave almost immediately. I have no money and it is like 140 to return to where I was.
I am angry and tired, I have been up two days with nowhere to sleep.
I just tried to hitch hike by the freeway to no avail.
I realize there s an old highway. I am debating starting to just walk it and imagine people picking me up and actually driving me most of the way.Does this sound nuts or desperate or determined? Some of all three?

You are in a difficult situation.

It is always possible that someone could pick you up and drive you most of the way, so it does not seem nuts or desperate to imagine that.

Making your own decisions does not seem to have worked out too well, so maybe your best option is complete surrender to the Divine. Accept your situation and fully trust that the Divine will protect you and guide you.

Your description of your situation reminds me of Peace Pilgrim. She had nothing but just wandered the country for years, trusting that the Divine would care for her and provide for her needs.

Peace.

Have you considered posting for a rideshare but when I was in a bad rough patch years ago I was able to catch rides for free with people (mostly older women) who just didn't want to make a long car trip alone.

Well, frankly, you sound pretty desperate, and that's not a good position from which to make decisions. There are lots of predatory people out there who are willing to offer "easy" solutions to the desperate, and when it seems like you have no other choice it can be too easy to convince yourself their intentions are good. (Been there.)

Are there no emergency services for homeless people where you are? Or even churches who might be able to help you?

peace pilgrim
 

Wow, really interesting. Do you know which person's name by chance?

"Peace Pilgrim" is what she called herself.

She was a pacifist and peace activist, and after a spiritual awakening she dedicated her life to walking around the US, talking to people about peace. She carried no money, had no possessions except what she could fit in her pockets, and never asked for food or shelter, yet her basic needs got met most of the time. A very interesting lady.

I am getting my immediate issue resolved over the next 48 hrs. I realize I needed to go through this to figure out where I really want to be. It was a game changer. I am going to stay in AZ for sure and get all I can get out of it.

Does it matter??? I would think that would be the very least of your concerns.

You sound like your head is filled with a lot of toxic. That's the reason living creatures needs to sleep/rest. To erase that toxic. You are not nuts. Maybe the best you can do is to sleep somewhere a few hours, against a tree or another shelter, so your body get some rest. That will make your mind more clear and you will know better what to do next. Just my opinion.

I've switched places now a couple of times. I'm back in the Phoenix, AZ area.
It's attracting threatening acting individuals into my life that's BEATING ME UP PSYCHOLOGICALLY, I run and run and run.

I also attracted treatening individuals in the past. I eventually began following my heart because I wanted to feel happy. Following the ideas and dreams that came from my heart. By focusing on that I stopped caring about what people said to me that beated me up pychologically. And I began to express how I felt about the treatening acting against the individuals who were responsible for it. I experienced that when you speak out from the heart with the strength of your heart that you will be heard by them. They will feel that they did something wrong and will not like that. That's how I got better.