Spiritual Forums - Newbie. Here’s My story

I began looking into spirituality when I thought I had found my soul mate/twin flame.

I began looking into chakras/meditation and oneness.

I began reading about oneness.

Eventually I would mediate and after a bit of mantra repeating, I could find myself feeling at one with the universe.

I felt free

However eventually I began to hallucinate.
I became delusional.

I would mediate for hours.

Seeing visuals and hearing things.
Solving supposed equations.

I would meditate from sun to night fall.

I thought the things I was experiencing were real. They felt real. My emotions were through the roof. How could these things not be real if I could hear them/see them so clearly in my head.

Eventually I became a certain type of insane.

I was forcefully put into mental institutions.

I was doing no one no harm, but I was unable to be an active member of society.
Until I began taking medication. And slowly the other worldly feelings faded from my head. Slowly I left my make believe world and returned to this reality once again.
.

Now. I no longer feel liberated by oneness.

Instead I feel limited by it.

Oneness does not feel right anymore. .

It makes me feel like I am just a glob of playdough stuck into a giant ball of more playdough.

But I do still believe that I am the universe.

I believe that we attract the energy we produce.
I believe our lives are what we make of them.

I am happy to be alive.

ANYWAY. long post sorry.

Just thought I’d share my experience with spirituality!

Interested in hearing similar experiences. Thank you