what is happening to me ~ please help!
I have been experiencing something very strange which I cannot explain. I have been very thoughtful about it as well as prayerful, but none of my higher powers have revealed to me what is going on.
Recently (in the last year) I have been experiencing what I can only explain as energy vampirism. I have had three people come into my life who I feel utterly drained by. The first was a friend who I would also cuddle with/nap with sometimes. I noticed that after spending more than a few hours with him I began to feel incredibly drained. One time I actually fell asleep and took a nap with him and when I woke up I almost felt sucked dry. I had a lot of anxiety from feeling so incredibly weak and drained of mental power and began to distance myself from him after. I wouldn't say he was particularly clingy or needy, just a massive energy drain.
The next was a boyfriend I had for only about 3 months. I would again feel sucked dry of my energy after spending a day or night together. Spending an entire night sleeping together was especially draining. I eventually broke it off and one big reason was this energy transfer.
The third and most recent is my current boyfriend. We have been together about 8 months. At first I didn't notice anything but now it turns out he is the worst of them all. If energy were blood I feel like I have all but a few drops left after we spend any considerable amount of time together. If it is two or three days I almost feel dead. With him the energy drain is so bad that I have a fuzzy mind and think slowly when I'm with him because my mental energy is sapped. Among the three he does exhibit some off-behavior. He is obsessed with any kind of almost constant body contact, holding my hand, ect. At night I call him the octopus, because he manages to always find his way to my side of the bed in the middle of the night and wrap his extremities around me. I know enough about energy work that he also seems to unknowingly target my energy centers. He always puts his hands on my mid-back (spine), the top of my head, my heart and groin. He also puts his bare feet on top of my feet. It's actually creepy because he does this subconsciously. He will promise to stay on "his side" of the bed at night but in the middle of the night crawls over to me. I have awoken multiple times to find the palm of his hand out flat directly above my head like he is plugged into my crown chakra and sucking me dry. I have tried to talk to him about all this but he just laughs and has no point of reference to energy or metaphysical things. I am white and he is Korean... don't know if that plays into it. Also, all of these men have been shorter and smaller than me.
I wonder if the difference in size and energy levels means I lose my energy and they gain it because science says energy always goes from a higher to lower state. The weird thing is this has never happened to me before and now it has gotten so bad that it is literally interfering with my life. I don't especially want to break up with my current boyfriend but I have no other choice if this continues. Does anyone have any insight into what is going on or what could fix it?! I feel cursed, almost like Rogue from X-men except the exact opposite of her problem. She sucks the energy out where as I get the energy sucked out of me. I just want to know how to explain all of this. Recently I've been reading historical Chinese texts about yin/yang, and qi (vital essence). I get the impression that the wrong combination of elements in two people can end up in a draining dynamic like this. One final note, not sure if it has to do with this, but my grandmother has talked about her grandpa several times to me, that he was some kind of folk healer (from Poland). She said verbatim that when he laid his hands on people they would become healed... one example was when he laid hands on people with broken bones and they became instantly healed.
Any insight/advice/intuition GREATLY appreciated as I feel like I'm being drained of my life.
Have you considered that it might be an issue on your side? That something subconsciously (or consciously) is causing this energy depletion?
Your latest boyfriend sounds rather attached/clingy to the reader, but it's also very hard to be accurate of his nature without knowing him, or seeing you both. He may just be tactile, but if he's too much for you - too tactile - too clingy - then have a word with him and ask him to ease off a bit? Have you done that, and if so, what was his reaction?
You also refer to feeling energy depleted after waking up, which is par for the course for most as you've been at rest, or in your case getting hands all over your face all night :D so you will be tired.
Having said that, I do relate to you to some degree. I too feel drained after spending too much time with some people (most, actually), so having my own space is imperative. It is very easy for others to say ''If the relationship is right you should never want to be alone'', but to me that screams insecurity/neediness as your own time is vital for growth, it's just most people aren't on the same path as us and are not in touch with their own energy and intuition, thus are unaware of their feeling.
But it does sound rather labored and draining. I do think his hand positioning has nothing to do with your energy depletion - he's more than likely not aware he is even doing it.
Perhaps reduce your time together? Don't spend large amount of time together in one go. Reduce the number of days you see each other, and even contact.
I know since embarking on my journey I was seeing a lady who I connect with and on the whole, enjoyed her company. But I too felt drained sometimes after seeing her for a substantial amount of time, but I realised it was from me due to my sensitivity to energy around me - she was just being herself - so I asked for some time alone and reduced seeing her as much.
Spirituality really does produce heightened sensitivity levels in some - myself included, so it is really important to give yourself personal time alone to rest and recover.
But yes, I'd reduce the time together and then you'll also see if he really is clingy and needy, or if he'll be okay with it, as if he's coming from a true place, he will be absolutely fine with the time apart and honor your request (if that is what you want to do).
This phenomenon that you described is possible, and there are healing methods that can take care of it remotely. Several years ago I connected one of my friends to such healer and it was very successful, although they were in different continents. If you are interested in such possibility, please PM me and I'll provide you the contact info
I have started to "show" or being aware of when I notice people doing this. Some are just wanting to connect physically for bonding, but some do it as they have a lack of own energy. You need to show that it's not OK, by moving away and thus creating a physical sign that what they are doing is not appreciated, and they get aware of what they are doing. But only if you really feel that you know what is going on, and I'm pretty sure that you do as you describe what is happening in so much detail. I can really relate to what you are writing.
After that you have shown enough times that you don't appreciate their behavior, either they will find that you are hurting their feelings (not your problem in this case), and either change their behavior or stop seeing you. Emotionally, this kind of people behave like dogs, not to be demeaning in any way, just to give you some plattform to understand why they do as they do, and how you can act to encourage a certain behavior (that don't suck the energy out of you).
You have already pointed out that he has a problem, but he won't accept it. There is not more you can do to help him (sorry I am maybe a bit codependent so don't buy into my thinking that everyone should be helped ;) ). I have learned that my energy is sacred and no-one is allowed to snitch from it. If you don't have your own, start doing some work on getting more, it's not my job to share it with you.
If the situation is unbearable you maybe should consider ending the relationship.
The question why you are attracted to those kind of guys - maybe can be because that you also have some codependent tendencies (good book on the matter - codependent no more). But that is hard for someone else who don't know you to understand. Try meditate and sit with the question for a while and answers will pop-up. As it have happened for all you last three guys, maybe it's a pattern, maybe not. If it is, it's because something in your subconscious programming is driving you towards it, some part of you that isn't healed are leading you toward unhealthy behavior. As I said, it's not sure it's a pattern, but it could be. Sitting and meditating on a certain problem and just listening to answers that come by themselves is often rewarding for me, and I could really recommend it.
Best of luck! Keep your energy for yourself, and keep us posted.
First be aware that most energy vampires are not really aware of it and they do it unconsciously... don t take it personally with them.... maybe thats they way to cry for help.
second thing it might be from your side.. that those people only telling you that you need to center yourself and balance your system.... doing spiritual practices without a good master can shift your energy to new levels and form and open new doors for you ... you might be extra sensitive and open stronger cords with people you love.
third if you have sympathy in a wrong way towered them. (unhealthy one comes from ego side) it allow your system to give them energy cuz u feel bad about them for example or you think they deserve better life.
finally remember everything we do is by our choice. if you want to change and stop letting ppl do it just make a strong conscious choice about it. and as i understood 3 of them are really close to you.... so you open up too much to them on energy levels...maybe out of comfort or love ... or whatever is your reasons...start from this point and it will lead you to solve your situation.
all best for you
@ truth seeker
thank you for your response... it resonated with me the most. I am going to do some soul searching with your points in mind.
It may be that the people you feel drained by are what William Blake called "devourers", thinkers with repressed emotional needs, in which case you need to ask yourself why are you drawn to such men, or why were such men attracted to you?
Excellent discussion! My first thoughts were much like those already expressed here, that the issue may be more about you than about those by whom you feel depleted.
If it was me, first and foremost I'd back off to catch my breath and regroup.
To regroup, I'd spend as much time alone as I needed, doing grounding and centering meditations as well as allowing time for just sitting and being open to the answer of the question, "What do I need to know at this time that will be most beneficial?" I've found that asking a more general question like this can bring much deeper answers to my immediate issues than if I ask something more specific.
I would also meditate on the concept of self protection so as to find a way to keep my own energy rather than sharing it with (or having it drained by) others. When I first did this - because I was experiencing intrusive energies - I simply constructed an 'energy shield' around myself. The 'shield' has changed considerably over time, but at the beginning what I most needed was a simple energetic block to incoming energies, but it also served to prevent the loss of my own energy. Nothing came in or went out unless I allowed it. Construction of such a shield is really easy to do; I think the hardest part (which also isn't difficult) is finding the construction strategy that works best for you personally.
One last thought: While I do think it's probable that the issue is within yourself rather than an external circumstance, I would strongly recommend that if you think so too, please don't give in to feeling guilty or 'at fault'. For that matter, if you find that the issue is a matter of the type of person you attract or something like that, I think this too doesn't merit guilty feelings. It is what it is, whatever it is. It seems this is just where you are on your path. Obstacles arise, and many of us just figure out the best strategy for moving forward whether it means removing the obstacle, climbing over it or going around or under it. It's the experience itself and learning from it that matters the most... or, that's how I see it anyway.
Please keep us posted as you work through this. Wishing you the best.
good luck with your life experience. keep us posted how things is going.
if you need anything we are here
I've had something similar to this happen to me. One thing I found helpful was to visualize my energy field, and to heal areas that had holes in them. Pluralone mentions forming a shield,, and I did something like that, too. I also cut cords, but I don't really understand that very much, though I think that helped the most.
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