Need your opinions on this
 

When it comes to the love I feel for my TF, what stands out the most is the feeling of protectiveness over him and I have noticed quite a few members of this forum mentioned the same. There were times when I literally felt as if he is my child and I need to nurture him, be there for him and make sure he is safe.

Now, to the point:

A couple of days ago when I was crying myself to sleep (one of those terribly-missing-my-TF days ending in surrendering to the unconditional love I feel for him), just while I was drifting to sleep I caught myself murmuring: “I will protect you, Ben” (where Ben is my cousin, who is like a brother to me and we were very close (though nothing extraordinary) when we were kids, and still are, though not like we used to be).
The fact that I said that name literally startled me, because I was thinking of my TF and meant to say HIS name.
You know, the ***?! feeling where you have just spent the whole day (not to mention years :)) whining over your so-called TF, ready to die heroically for them in an instant and then end up getting their name wrong. LOL
And another reason for shock was that it wasn’t the first time I had the two of them mixed up. Two years ago I had a couple of dreams where my TF turned into my aforementioned cousin, which was a completely normal thing to me in a dream (I cannot remember the details, though) and I remember feeling awkward afterwards, because sexual feelings I have towards my TF are undeniably and extraordinarily strong and cannot be associated with sibling love in no way.

So what is it all about? Love: all-in-one package (child, brother, lover, blah, blah...)? Past life memories? Archetypal symbolism? The all-encompassing unconditional love, which my brain/subconscious interprets as platonic brotherly love? Something else?

Please share your opinions. I need some objectivity, or I will end up over-analyzing it and turn my brain into porridge...

We are all one - you are them, they are you - energetically speaking perhaps they/you share a similar vibration therefore the connection triggers a mix up of energy and feelings....just a thought that came to mind when I read your post :)

Hey Cheshire,

I just PM´ed you :)

Firefly.

This is why I don't uses names in any of my connections.......lol. I agree with loving soul.

I have a nick name I use for my tf. and I really don't speak of past connections. except a couple and on here.

There are posts on SF and other sites that talk about TF's and past lives. For eg, during an astral travel/past life meditation, I was shown that my TF was the husband of a sister in a past life. There's a big juicy *** for ya!

So the protectiveness you feel for your TF, "like a child", and the interconnectedness of your connection to your cousin and your TF - is it possible there are some soul family connections to the big picture here?

I agree that we are "all connected" on a soul/cosmic level, but this concept of the sacred masculine and the sacred feminine and the spiritual pair persists in my brain ... thus my continued investigation into the Twin Flame phenom.

I'm just putting this out for you to contemplate, and I'm no expert on this ... but that's what came up for me when I read your post.

Thank you for this post, Cheshire

Thanks for your replies, guys!

I am still not sure what to think about this... I’ll give it some more time to sink in and see where it takes me. It definitely influenced my feelings, at least for the time being, because right now I view him more as a brother, which is confusing... I don’t know how long it will last, I haven’t seen him for 6 months and have no idea when we will meet again (some time this year, I hope...) and it would be much easier to see where we’re at if we had regular contact.

What comes to mind though is this: if we accept the concept of "the sacred masculine and the sacred feminine and the spiritual pair" then what kind of love would be appropriate for such a sacred union? Probably the ultimate version, which encompasses all varieties of love that exist and is unconditional. In my experience, I have felt quite a few types of love for my TF: first and foremost I love him as a friend, I had surges of maternal feelings for him, I felt brotherly love (which turned out to be the most prominent because of those dreams), I even felt (don’t laugh! :)) something that can best be described as the love of a knight in shiny armor for his beloved lady, where I am the knight (and yes I am female and straight, lol). Perhaps these were all past life experiences, which served as steps to bring us closer to this ultimate all-encompassing love...?! Or maybe I’m talking nonsense... :dontknow:

Anyways, I love him for 12 years already and some of those "new" types of feelings started to appear only in the last 2 or 3 years, so who knows what will happen in the next couple of years. Only time will tell...

Yeah, I thought the purity of my love could save the smuck too, believed it had to, what other explaination was there for being able to remote view him, see how the organs in his body were working, be able to heal him of major medical issues, be able to send him energy that made him feel like superman on top of the world, be able to hear his thoughts and feel his emotions towards me from half way around the world?

And he even had more awareness of me, knew the second someone hugged me, or when my feet his the floor every morning, could taste the very food I ate.

I mean we had to be ONE right? Me the divine feminine and he my male divine other half. We had to be one person in two bodies right? What other possible explaination could there be?! There just HAD to be somekind of really huge cosmic level love involved right, some greater Purpose....we were so very special after all, so unique amoung mankind!

Gawd the ways my mind wrapped and twisted around it everyday, nearly every minute of every hour of everyday, what delightful mind candy it all was, such deliscious torment, such heights of love bliss, such lows of equistite torchure....I was so on the wrong track....

I need to F-Disk my brain now.

Haha, this reminds me of this song that is in a way about him and I, and I love it: "You'll Be In My Heart" by Phil Collins
Please don't tell me this is in the wrong thread, lol.

Come stop your crying
It will be all right
Just take my hand
Hold it tight

I will protect you
From all around you
I will be here
Don't you cry

For one so small,
You seem so strong
My arms will hold you
Keep you safe and warm
This bond between us
Can't be broken
I will be here
Don't you cry

'Cause you'll be in my heart
Yes, you'll be in my heart
From this day on
Now and forever more

You'll be in my heart
No matter what they say
You'll be here in my heart, always

Why can't they understand
The way we feel?
They just don't trust
What they can't explain
I know we're different but,
Deep inside us
We're not that different at all

Don't listen to them
'Cause what do they know?
We need each other
To have, to hold
They'll see in time
I know

When destiny calls you
You must be strong
I may not be with you
But you've got to hold on
They'll see in time
I know
We'll show them together

Oh, you'll be in my heart (You'll be here in my heart)
No matter what they say (I'll be with you)
You'll be here in my heart,
I'll be there always
Always

I'll be with you
I'll be there for you always
Always and always
Just look over your shoulder
Just look over your shoulder
Just look over your shoulder
I'll be there always

I believe our love for them is so what I call, universal, as you are saying. I have no doubts about the type of relationship I long for, but all the other types just fall in place here naturally also I guess. And not trying to be mean, but as for thinking about your tf not turning your brain into porridge, good luck with that, lol

Its funny but I told a friend that I at times felt like he was all relationships to me lover, mother, teacher student so on...that's funny u posted this. I can say I also had a situation with my son where I would call him my brothers name or I would catch myself calling him my brother. I had him when I was young but I am convinced he was my brother in a past life. Ugh soul families! Lol