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-   -   People Pleasing (http://www.spiritualforums.com/vb/showthread.php?t=129140)

Wally 23-04-2019 09:30 AM

People Pleasing
 
I was a huge people pleaser once.
But now I realise that it is such a relief not to worry if people like you or not.
If you have no haters you probably have no one that really likes you either.
You have to be a little political and tactical to survive in the workplace. But ive always admired people who are totally transparent. Polarising figures perhaps but still

Melantha77 23-04-2019 10:45 AM

I've actually been the opposite in that I never saw the reason to please people.
The way I see it, there will always be somebody who dislikes or hates you-it's just the way of the world.

The only thing about transparent people, or those who say what they think is I've noticed a LOT of them can tell you the truth, or criticise you, or say what they think, and yet they cannot stand it, when you tell them the truth about themselves.

I used to prefer people who said what they thought-for even if it is hurtful, if they say something negative, at least you're getting the truth, however, there are so many people I've come across, who can provide feedback, and yet are terrible at receiving it.

Wally 23-04-2019 06:59 PM

You make some valid points Melantha

Anne 24-04-2019 10:43 AM

I was a huge people pleaser once too. Itís only now in later years I realize how detrimental this was to my growth.

Upon a time I very much admired bold outspoken people, while I put my own needs on the back burner. I think I thought it was my job to make them feel good, lol.
Now, I agree with Melantha. It seems that kind can dish it out but cannot take it.

Iím learning to be much more careful of where and in whom I place my trust.
Not an easy lesson for an empath, but as you say, a relief to let go.

ocean breeze 25-04-2019 09:31 PM

I'm not well liked. The older i get, the more unpopular. I seem to have a habit of stepping on peoples egos. Luckily i keep to myself for the most part.

Native spirit 25-04-2019 09:42 PM

I don't think its so much that people don't like you Ocean breeze rather than they don't know how to take you.
I sometimes get the same problem people don't know how to take me, but at the same time I'm watching them as I read people.
and they don't like it so they are scared of me


Namaste

Wally 25-04-2019 10:04 PM

Sometimes I take it as a badge of honour to be disliked by some people. Because I don't respect their world view, why should I care what they think of me? If they did like me, I would suspect there is something wrong with me. :smile:

Wally 25-04-2019 10:07 PM

Quote:

I seem to have a habit of stepping on peoples egos. Luckily i keep to myself for the most part.

You haven't stepped on mine yet. Im curious how you do that now.

ocean breeze 26-04-2019 03:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Native spirit
I don't think its so much that people don't like you Ocean breeze rather than they don't know how to take you.


lol, i can see that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Native spirit
I sometimes get the same problem people don't know how to take me, but at the same time I'm watching them as I read people.
and they don't like it so they are scared of me


Namaste


People can be afraid of someone or something they don't understand. Fear can bring out the worse in people. Be careful with that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wally
You haven't stepped on mine yet.


You seem to have a good sense of humor. You should be fine.

Wally 26-04-2019 03:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ocean breeze
lol, i can see that.



People can be afraid of someone or something they don't understand. Fear can bring out the worse in people. Be careful with that.



You seem to have a good sense of humor. You should be fine.


just to reveal my technophobia, I tell you i cant do partial quotes like you have here. This must be easier than I have made it for myself. :)


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