Why interfaith marriages do not work?
 

When one's religious beliefs are put aside or buried deep in one's mind, interfaith marriages do not really matter. So they say, marriage is tough and has its obstacles, so the question is why go through the additional burden of dealing with issues of faith and religion when looking for that special someone?

In my younger days the promise to myself was to not be unevenly yoked, so I married a Christian woman who is active in her faith, one that shares a similar worldview. We agree on issues of faith such as premartial sex, abortions, capital punishment, the name of God, ect... We both strive to accomplish the same spiritual goals. So I'm asking those who are of interfaith marriages or in a relationship, share your struggles or share how this makes little difference in your daily lives and what you have in common.

For Christians, what does it mean to not be unevenly yoked? If you were aware of this Scripture before meeting your spouse, how did you interpret or rationalize this Scripture in catering to yourselves in your Christian walk?

Sincerely,
Interfaith curious :tongue:

When Jesus talked about being the Christ, what he meant was that we are all the Christ, it is the higher Consciousness that runs through all religions, they may have a different name for this thread that runs through all, they may have different scriptures that points to this thread, they may have a diffident organization also, but its all the same, and Jesus knew this, for the words that he used were the same words that many before him used.

My wife is a Christian, I am not. This June we will have been married for 16 years, and together for 21. We disagree about many things, but we both agree that a spiritual path is important in life. I think our divergent faiths have been good for us. We have learned to treat other viewpoints with respect and to look for similarities rather than differences. My version of 'God' is much different than hers but we both agree that His basic nature is Love. I have learned a lot by attempting to understand the Christian faith, and she has likewise learned a lot in exploring my more new age/eastern approach.

i believe interfaith marriages can work out, if the partners try and accept the other's system of beliefs and doesnt try to change them :)

im single, and i wouldnt care what religion my gf would have, as long as she is respectful towards mine ;)

I have only been married 32 years. I didn't know the interfaith thing was supposed to be a problem. Guess it will catch up with us any ol' time.

My husband and I have only been married a year. He is agnostic, I am actually Roman Catholic (albeit rather a liberal one). We had a full catholic wedding, our daughter will be baptised as R.C in the next month. We don't seem to have any issues, maybe it will come up in the future :confused:

I've seen way too many interfaith marriages have problems, even end in divorce. I would strongly recommend thinking twice. Some very unhappy people have been the result. it's not impossible, just adds another factor to work out.

Two mature people can overcome this obstacle. With mutual respect.

Unfortunately Christians often think their religion is the only true religion and all else false doctrine. Which can cause conflict. But their intentions are good. They just want to make sure their spouse is "saved".

It takes a mighty big Christian to allow their "non believing" spouse their own spiritual path.

Neither my husband or I have a religion. He was Christian when I met him but a non-practicing one. I was spiritual but not Christian. I allowed him his path and respected his right to believe as he felt comfortable. As the years have passed (17) our spiritual paths have merged. He no longer believes as a Christian and follows a more non-Christian path. But again, I don't try to change his mind about anything. It is his path.

My husband and I have been together for 30 years and are of different faiths and it has never posed a problem. We respect each other's faith and have had some great conversations about our views.

Not only did I have the most wonderful (Interfaith) marriage for 20 years--but I am (also) an Interfaith Minister.

We have more in common than we realize--their is room at the table for all of us.

Interfaith relationships can and do work. I dated a Christian 4 years ago. I was Pagan, still am. We broke up not because faith got in the way but because we just fell out of love with each other. I've also dated an agnostic and a Wiccan. It does work.

My husband is Christian, I am Jewish. We have been married for under a year but together for two years. My husband is my soul mate, so sometimes your heart/soul chooses someone for you :) Does an interfaith relationship potentially cause extra 'stuff' to worry about and sort out? Sure. I would say we went through a period (before marriage) while we were engaged where we had a lot of disagreements over certain topics. Overall, I feel this was a great learning experience for me and also a lesson in compromise. It's difficult to sometimes come to terms that no, your kids won't only be your own background and your own religion (personally for me, and I know most Jewish people would feel the same, however this feeling is by no means exclusive to Jews as far as I know), but at the same time, I got over it eventually. I realized that religion is secondary to how I want to raise my kids, which is to be good people. My husband and I shared the same views on our goals in life, the overall role of religion in our lives, the importance of family, etc, and share many other similar social/political views, and considering how much we love each other, it didn't cross my mind to just step away because of a different religion. I first I just wanted it to be *my* way, but I am so thankful that I ended up changing my mind about that, because while I learned to be more accepting of the religious environment my children would be exposed to, I also became way more open and tolerant myself. I think having traditions and learning from two religions is a wonderful thing for kids AND adults, as long as everyone keeps an open mind! The only case where I see interfaith as being a bad idea is if both people are very religious and/or one or both are unwilling to compromise.

Depends upon how committed you are to your respective religions, and if the religion is one that tends to have exceptionalist or exclusive ideas about its practices/beliefs. Issues of identity can sometimes be wrapped up in religion.

My parents are a "spiritual not religious" secular Jewish woman and a "spiritual not religious" man of Christian origins. But my mom still had a strong sense of Jewish cultural identity and a strong identification with Jewish causes and issues, and still does, and ultimately this is part of why the marriage didn't work. But it didn't work for reasons that are more cultural/ethnic. He didn't understand, for example, why she wouldn't want to live in Saudi Arabia (where he almost took a job), and didn't "get it" about anti-Semitism.

She is now married to a man of similar secular Jewish origins, who is an agnostic or atheist, who is equally committed to Jewish cultural and political issues.

So yeah - I've seen religious couples make it work - but make sure that *even if you're both converted to a new religion, or you're both non-religious* - you have an understanding about the baggage that may come with each person's religious background. And respect each other!

Of course interfaith marriages can work, if you love each other. I have a Christian who married a practising Muslim in my family and they have been happily married for 25 years. He goes to the mosque, she to church, no problem.

I am an Orthodox Jew. Granted, if you read some of my other posts you will note strong familiarity w/ Christianity. My wife is Lutheran. It works for us. We respect each other's right to be different. It's really that basic.

My mothers family is all Jewish and my father's father was a Baptist missionary who translated the Bible from language to language.

They have been married 30 years and I was raised with the most loving and accepting family (both sides).

It can work it all depends on who you are marrying. My parents are both more "spiritual" than religious - neither of them have practiced for any part of my life - they both claim to be "burnt out" on the religion thing from having so much of it forced on them during childhood.

My mom was also the only on in her family to NOT have a bat mitzvah... she's a bit of a black sheep.

As a child though I was told that whatever I want to learn about they will support... it gave me the opportunity to really search and learn about all religions/philosophies without having a cultural bias.

I'm the child of an interfaith marriage - my dad is Catholic and my mother is Jewish.

In my view, religious issues in marriage arise not from people being of different faiths, but differing in their level of zealousness for that faith. A fundamentalist Christian is going to have more trouble in an interfaith marriage than they would in a marriage with another fundamentalist Christian, for instance. This is especially true if the partner is similarly zealous about their faith and does not want to compromise, but exert their religion on the other as well. Even marriages between fundamentalist Christians and more liberal Christians can have conflicts arising from different interpretations of the Bible and different life priorities.

As for my parents, they were very secular to the point of being almost apathetic about their faith. They let me explore what I wanted, but never really wanted to introduce me to anything too "extreme." So in a lot of ways I grew up in a spiritual void. Growing up, I was the only one of my friends who was not involved in some kind of organized religion.

I totally agree and grew up much in the same way

Once upon a time there was a woman of Jewish faith who happened to marry a native Palestinian. Neither one had talked much about their religious background prior to their exchanging of wedding vows. While on their honeymoon, after they had consummated their relationship, somehow the topic of the Middle East came up. The couple ended up divorcing is less than a week.

Don't you think that a lot of couples that hadn't discussed that would work out? that's usually one of the main things you make sure to talk about before you do get married.

Some marriages are arranged. I don't know if and how that happened between a Jew and a Muslim. Interesting tale....