just how do you move on?
 

my son died 10 years ago very suddenly , and i am still stuck the world has moved on10 years and im still there stuck in the past if i allow my self to stop and think of him i can get overwhelmed and panicky, so i try not to ,i wish i could enjoy my life more, i never sit in silence i have to have tv radio or computer on from morning to night i find the quiet uncomfortable i dont know why .

Does it help to know that his spirit still lives, and that he most likely has already reincarnated?

Plymgal, welcome to the forum. I am so sorry to hear about your loss. To loose a child is by far the worst thing I could imagine to experience. I understand that you are having a hard time moving on. Who wouldn't? I am happy that you have found this forum. Look around here, there are great threads with great insights from truly gifted and compassionate members that might open you to a new perspective on life.

I lost my almost 23-yr-old son 2 yrs. ago, so I know about what you've gone through. It was sudden for him, too. I get stomach aches at night, I'm sure part of which is being without him, y'know how we have all that empty space in our minds and hearts when we tuck ourselves in free to think about whatever lands. It's very hard. After about the first year, I fought with myself and talked to myself, to get tougher about it (and yet gentle to myself at the same time!) and told myself repeatedly that if I believe he is a spirit and I believe yes that he has visited in different ways (a few dreams, signs and just 'feeling his presence', then he is truly 'alive' somehow and that he is now a part of the invisible spectators in our lives who are rooting for us...to have as good a life as possible with as much joy, love, and all that other stuff as we can manage. I will always cry when I think of him, although it has gotten milder many of the times I think of him. It takes a certain amount of time in which to mellow after such a loss.
:hug:

Hi Plygmgal,
Though it happened 10 years ago it still feels like it happened yesterday. I know how you feel. Try to meditate as if you are holding your sons hand and cross the white light leaving your son behind and come back to our world. He is happy on the the other world and he wants you to be happy as well. Saying to move on may be easy but its really hard to put into practice. God bless you dear.
Regards.

No one can really tell you how to move on... the pain will always be there but it does fade. What I'd suggest is getting some support to help you face the panic feelings (a form of grief) so you can start to heal. There's the obvious systems of bereavement counselling and specialist groups who understand the loss of a child, but there are also gentle methods such as Reiki healing, where an experienced practitioner will help you release the blocks holding you back. If you can, send a wee thought to your son to help you heal and I'm sure he will do whatever he can from his side. :hug2:

"already reincarnated" nonsense!

thanks for all your replies feeling much better today:smile:

:hug: Lossing anyone is hard but to loose a child unbearable, your pain will ease overtime it will never go but it will become easier,,
your son is happy now and comes around you berevement councelling will help you and their is no time limit for it to ease.so you can see a councellor as soon as you feel ready.


Namaste

I know your pain my dear.....I have lost my husband, daughter and Mother is a realatively short space of years and am amazed that I am still on this earth is a reasonable facsimile of a person......a new person, a different person to be sure, but still here....I consider myself as a survivor, but I also firmly believe that my loved ones remain close to me always, helping, guiding and doing their very best to comfort me....I receive many ADCs (after-death-
communications) from them.....They are not gone, they have just transitioned to a higher spiritual dimension and still love us just as much, if not more than they always have and we will be reunited with them one day....

I am so sorry to hear about your loss..I can understand how it must be feeling- since it happened so suddenly..

Hello Plymgal.

If you do not move on the grief will be with you until the day you die and will be with you in your afterlife and also in your rebirth.Death is apart of life.We will all die, everyone we love will die.Come to terms with your sons death , Love him and let him go.Death is also a beginning.Whatever happened to your son it happened because it had to, there is not guilt no blame, events unfolded and he died.You are still alive, but you have to come to terms with fact that your son is never coming back it cannot be changed.I wish you peace of mind. I can hardly imagine a worse fate. yours declan

A wife who loses a husband is called a widow. A husband who loses a wife is called a widower. A child who loses his parents is called an orphan. But...there is no word for a parent who loses a child, that's how awful the loss is! - Neugeboren 1976, 154

My teenage daughter has a terminal illness and I will lose her one day.I can only imagine what you have gone through at present.I will walk your shoes one day and it does scare me when I read how parents never move one with their lives,you are not the first I have read of.I hope you find some comfort on here and I think counselling maybe a good idea for you.Good luck hun xx

I know your predicament only too well. I had lost a four-year old son ~the apple of my eye; years later, I had lost another son at the age of 17, a true genius who baffled everyone;
and lastly, lost my older son who looks like Tom Cruise to a motorcycle accident. So, I know your pain, the lost, the indescribable emptiness, that deep depression draping the soul.
But at the same time I was visited by each, with each telling me how wonderful the world is and how beautiful the energies and people are. And how important it is for me to know that.
It is a balm, a healing effect of the greatest sort, and with that I had to pick myself up and continue my life, because I know it would be a matter of time before we'll be together again.

I will light a white candle for him. If you want a reading I will do that also.
I do feel peace.. "Blessed be and Merry Meet"

I don't want to preach all my crazy stuff so I just want you to trust me when I say nothing is gone - at all, just the way in which he communicated with you. The essense and being remain, in a state of what we could only describe as bliss and perfection - and you'll be there too. Whatever there is after death, you know you're going to the same place. So for now live life in his memory, look at how beautiful life actually is, it's just a short experience we get - a few fractions of all the time in existence. You'll be spending most of that in a realm of non-detatchment with him.

So smile at life, because death is what makes life so valuable. We only get it for a moment - and your son would hate to think that what he had to do is making you live in a unhappy and unhealthy way.

Tribute him with your smile, forgive yourself with rest. Just enjoy the next few minutes with him in mind and lets make it positive.

Memories are going to hurt you, until you learn that memories are him, his effect in you and you get to keep it until you become one again.

I know it's impossible, but try and practice and you can master your feelings.

Some ideas that might help you: join a forum for people who've lost children, connect and meet with other parents because communities based around tragedy are extremely supportive and valuable. There will be someone who'll be going through the same as you and be able to relate.

Take it as an affirmation, life is precious. It ends whenever and so fill it with smiles, freedom, clarity - my advice is buddhist meditation on the heart sutra and talking to others in similar situations.

I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine anything worse than losing a precious baby, no matter what age. My heart goes out to you.

Sorry for your loss. Alow yourself to grieve. You will see the way.

Your body dies but your spirit never does. Your son is always living. He's just in a different world. Your son will always be protecting and loving you. You can always think about your son and think about the memories you had with him. That will make you feel that he's still with you. Hope this helped.