I was speaking of western civilization. When it comes to the islamic world, yes I agree with you. When it comes to the third world, no I do not. Those unfortunate folk are too busy trying to figure out how to get their next meal and do not have the luxury to consider the concept of ***** and ho's.

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See my above statement


True, but this sad state of affairs cannot be exclusively attributed to a very small insignificant minority of the worlds male population that thinks of women as ***** and ho's. I have also read a lot of books and magazines as well in regards to male/female relationships and in affluent western societies, I standby everything I stated earlier.


Yes, I believe you that the general state and evolution of humanity is hellish. But Im still confused about what your original statement has to do with it. Are you trying to say that your general statement about the male populations concept of women as ***** and ho's caused this sad state of affairs?

I still can't believe that you haven't been exposed to the horrific attitudes of many males even in our elevated society. Politeness and etiquette cover a multitude of bad 'tudes. I never understood where in some spots, the media says women have it so much better nowadays. It's always the hidden attitudes of some certain groups of men that holds back a healthier consensus from being reached. Otherwise, what're all those shallow graves and missing people (dare I say it's a mix of children of both sex, and adults of both sex, yet predominantly females)?

I know they're out there. It's a lot more comfortable to not speak for them.

Sorry about the serious attitude.

I fear we've wandered far afield haven't we (some of us).

Forgiveness, please.

If the man says he's happy and hey, his other half is happy, then well if it isn't broke, no need for fixin' it.

Although I appreciate some of the suggestions and maybe he and his missus will, too?

Well, I was raised by women for the most part (my father died when I was 11) and I only witnessed female dysfunction up close :smile: . At college, I did witness some sexually chauvinsitic attitudes among some males but that was the minority, but it was nothing horrific. Even among some of those chauvinistic guys, it was more "self aggrandizing" behavior in front of the guys than their true self. They clammed up and kissed their girlfriends butt when she was around. Though I think sexually chauvinistic attitudes are extremely backwards and unacceptable, I do not think of them as horrific. Illegal violent activities such as rape, child abuse etc. fall in the horrific category for me.

I also never witnessed chauvinism at any job I ever worked. All women were treated respectfully and well.

Im sure in the 1940's etc. chauvinism was much more prevalent



Well, nowadays (in western societies) women have the right to work at any profession that a man can work. They have a right to collect child support. There are laws against sexual harassment and discrimination etc. etc. They have achieved full equality and legal protection of that equality. What exactly are they missing?


This may be true but it is not indicative of the majority of males. This is a very tiny percentage of societies males that numbers in the single digits (if not less) that does these kinds of horrific acts. These horrific acts are IMO, a result of some kind of serious mental disorders and not some chauvinistic attitudes about ***** and ho's. The media pumps these stories up and makes the numbers seem more prevalent than they really are.


No worries Silvergirl! :smile:

We have, haven't we! Though I haven't seen the original poster participate for a while so hopefully he doesn't mind! :smile:

You think that if these things are illegal nothing is missing and we are equal in actuality?

There’s about a 51% chance that the rapes which are reported will have an arrest made. There’s an 80% chance of prosecution. There’s only about a 16.3% chance that someone who is prosecuted for rape will serve time for it. An estimated 60% to 85% of rapes are not reported because of the torture that the victims know they will go through if they do so. The percentage of rapists who ever serve time is in the single digits. Rape victims are treated like criminals and I could go on for pages and pages about that alone. Over 90% of rape victims are female. 1 in every 6 American women are a victim of attempted or completed rape in their lifetime.

I think this is an important thing to understand. So I feel very compelled to say something when it is clearly not understood by someone. I don't need the media to tell me that there are dangerous, chauvinistic, and insane men are out there. They are here, in my life, in my town, hurting people I know, sitting at my kitchen table with their tongues loosed by alcohol saying "I should be in jail for some of the things I've done". They are men I have met and hope to never come across again but I sometimes it happens because they never did face any legal consequences. Now do you have an idea of what is missing?

That said, just so there's something more on topic in here, there was a time in my life when I had no libido. I was dating someone who had a very unhealthy attitude about sex. To summarize the problem, he regarded sex as a need rather than an optional expression of affection and considered me responsible for fulfilling that need whether I felt like it or not. After 2 years of having sex while not in the mood at least once a week and feeling more like a sex toy and less like a human being the effect that this had on me was that my libido died a slow death until I was not in the mood every single time but felt I had to keep doing it anyway.

It would take to many pages to explain this process and all the aspects involved in it, the manipulation and borderline brainwashing I went through that convinced me that I was a bad person for not wanting it and not providing him as much as he needed and there was something so horribly wrong with me I thought it might be immoral of me to stay alive. But maybe it would also be immoral to choose to die. So I broke up with him and decided to avoid human contact as much as possible and just pass the time various ways until I outlive the people who would be bothered by my death or they forget about me. But, on the bright side, I thought, at least I never have to have sex again unless I'm raped, and if I'm raped at least I don't have reason to care about whether he felt his needs were satisfied. That's how much I never wanted to have sex again after what I went through.

I went to AVEN and read a lot there. I understand well that many people naturally have no desire for sex. And they are able have successful relationships and find happiness. After I recovered a bit I thought it would be nice to find an asexual partner, if possible. But I didn't have a lot of hope for it. After even more time passed and I was no longer influenced by being treated like an object my libido miraculously resurrected. Because I'm actually a very sexual person in my own natural state. When with someone who doesn't think he will whither away and die without sex but sees at as an expression of affection or just something fun to do if you're both up for it I really enjoy it. I remain aware that if I am treated poorly by someone who has a similarly unhealthy attitude like my ex my libido may suffer for a while. There are still times when I'm not even in the mood to flirt and sometimes when that happens I still feel that fear from before that something is wrong with me and I have to remind myself that it doesn't make me a freak if I'm not in the mood sometimes.

Do you have many wives? As you siad you have no passion for it and you do to satisfy "them".

Not to speak for him, but he hasn't responded since the beginning post, but I think he means he's satisfying HIS urges, not wives.

That rape statistic is horrific and your experience with your ex is quite unfortunate. Your ex should have never gone about things the way he did. He should have tried to consider and meet your needs and be positive and if things still weren't to his satisfaction, he should have just wrote things of to incompatibility of frequency and left instead of waxing negative towards you. This all goes to show that we as a society are very backwards and un-evolved when it comes to sexuality. Sexual repression and ignorance has everything to do with sexual dysfunction, including rape.

It all starts with teaching our young. Adult society for the longest time has always raced to condemn and repress the sexual urges of their young in one way or another. This is terrible as teens feel these urges very strongly and get the wrong message that these urges are somehow not OK. We need to teach our young teenagers how to channel this energy appropriately instead of repressing it. If it were up to me, I would teach that mutual masturbation is just as OK as french kissing and would fully encourage that and teach them to look for a comfortable soulfully compatible individual to explore the rest. This way, the teens can relax and celebrate this energy.

President Clintons surgeon general suggested this (mutual masturbation) back in the 90's and had to resign over the controversy.

Thats what I get from his statement as well. Besides, how can one be asexual if they masturbate?