I did “evil” things as a child and as a young adult felt evil inside of me. When I was a kid in elementary school we were taken to the beach to swim, and there was this kid I did not like, so I swam underwater over to him and bite him on his butt, and then came out of the water and laughed at him as he was crying. I own that mean behavior even though I was but a little kid.

I had a feeling of “evil” inside of me when I came home from the Vietnam War. Evil was the only word which fit how I felt. I was very angry, intense, and could have done a lot of damage in society. But by acknowledging the grace of pure spirit, which I think we all have, I was able to banish that feeling of evil from me. As Redchic12 has said, all of that is in my past.

I have forgiven myself for past indiscretions and today I also feel forgiven by spirit. While I have been nasty in the past creating hell for others, I am grateful that I have done nothing which could not be repaired. The generation I grew up in thought men were suppose to be rough, tough, abrasive, and not gentle and kind. I praise the transformation which has bought me gentle kindness and compassion. We can all change if we allow ourselves to.

Feeling evil in our lives does not have to dominate us.

What you say is absolutely correct. I know a person he is a kind family man now, but he went to prison for doing something but he has changed his life around he has a good job,
I know this because he is married to my niece.
He told me that everyone used to call him evil when he was younger
he said because some people would call him evil that he must be evil.

I said everyone makes mistakes in life. but dont let it define who you really are
my niece has PROMS and even though he works he makes sure my niece and the kids are well cared for


Namaste

Thank you Native Spirit, I feel love and compassion coming from what you have shared.

There are many who are, or were, rebellious in their youth. Insensitive, and out of control with a lot of energy and hormones raging. Although some are very caring and sensitive towards others. Longevity has allowed me the benefit of transformation over the years, like the man you spoke of in your post.

I cringe sometimes when I think of some of the things I did in the past, but as you have said, that is not who I am today. Today I am more prepared for love then at any other point in my life. So many transitions leading up to the gentle transition which removes us from this earth.

Namaste :hug3:

Hello

We can all make things right in life if we make that choice to get help and accept help. If not one is lost to their own path. No one tried harder than I did to work things out to make a life to keep the kids safe. I am blessed that the kids came out OK but too Heart came into their life at the right time. Teen years form whom they become a lot.

Sadly for now I have cut ties with the Eldest Son I have as he had been so nasty since money found him from his Dad that he never shed a tear over dying or even came home from work when he was told he was dead !

I have learned that I come first in this world and that everyone else can get behind me in supports or feel my side that can cut ties. I feel the EX a bit a times but not in the way of him being in this world. More that he has a lot of work to do in death.

I am just waiting for the time to write my story. Looking for someone that can put it on paper for me. I feel that my life has a meaning for others to learn from.

I have met one other that shares a similar path I walked, and she too go out alive but not fully intact. Abuse takes a tole on the body as one ages. I have a bad knee and shoulder to show for the abuses. Yet it all lead to finding love in the later years of life and for that I am blessed.

9 years with Heart now married and still very blessed and happy.

I too look at things I have done in the past and wonder what awaits me but too I feel I have maenad the bridges with those I did things too.

Lynn

Lynn I can totally Empathise with where you are coming from,
money is the root of all evil.
when that money goes he will be back tail between his legs.
I am in a position something like yours I have even said I will go see my lawyers over it,

I haven't as yet but i will you can only push me so far then all hell comes out


Namaste

Yes I can also empathise. Been in a similar situation.

But the thing that helped me the most was when a healer said to me, “if you keep helping him, you are stopping him from growing”.

I took that on board and it worked out for me.

My son told me years later that it was the best thing I ever did to him because he would never have stopped the drugs otherwise.

She also said that he would have to reach rock bottom first and only when life is so bad that he couldnt stand it any more, would he decided to do some thing about it. And that was true as well.

Hope this is helpful.

Yes, I agree, sometimes helping a person can cripple them and they can become overly dependant and not learn how to help themselves. There is a time for helping and a time to let someone fall and maybe they will learn from falling.

Some people need more help then others and some are highly independent self-starters; no right or wrong, no good or bad in this. I worked with patients who all you had to do was give them an idea and they would run with it and develop it to completion, while others you needed to hold their hand and walk them step by step through the simplest process.

Some people are highly motivated and some people are not; some people are highly dependant and some are highly independent. Yes, I do believe that people need people and we are all interdependent. There is a give and take between all of us; some give more than they take while others take more then they give.

In my opinion it all depends on our attitude. All people do not go through life the same way, but in my opinion all paths eventually lead to the same spiritual realization. I try hard not to judge, even my own relatives, if they do not want my help, maybe they will become aware of help from their own deeper spiritual selves.

I came through the school of hard knocks, started college when I was blind and could not see; had an organization record my books on audio cassette tapes and I learned brail. I received no help from my family, my parents and siblings gave me absolutely no help. I lived alone and I had to motivate myself; went through lots of periods of depression and also became suicidal more than once.

I started turning my life around with affirmations; some of the affirmation I used were, don’t let what you can not do get in the way of what you can do, if you always do what you always did you’ll always get what you always got, and there were many others which I would tell myself over and over. Our internal dialogue, or how we talk to ourselves, is extremely important.

I also went through drug use and self destructive behavior, broke off from my mom and siblings after my dad died. I am the youngest in my parents family and my older siblings wanted to control me, but I was having none of it. Now I am the last member of my parents family alive here on this planet. All of my siblings and my parents have passed, and I feel I have done a pretty good job on my own, with the help of spirit.

It is so true you have to hit rock bottom, in order for you to climb out
Not many people can say they have had an Easy ride through life
But what I have found is the more Spiritual People, have had it harder than others


Namaste

That's not hell, that's life with ADHD!