Ketzer!! What a money quote, my friend. Right on target!
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I wonder whether I have reached this point too. Suffered too much at the hands of those who professed to love me - whether as friends or potential romantic interests - but who proved with their actions that they had nothing but hatred, envy and lust for making me suffer in their hearts.
I know one thing for sure - I can't trust anyone ever again. I've seen and experienced it too many times - people trusting someone new, a new friend, a new lover, whatever - and that person abusing that trust. Abusers/narcissists and scammers are everywhere. Now I wouldn't even give anyone a chance to get close to me unless they were to prove their trustworthiness. Trust needs to be earned! |
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They run because they aren't working to the same agenda; or they're just not interested. Or they aren't a twin and just get fed up with being harassed. One can never own another person or their emotions and the sooner that's realised the easier someone can move on. I'd say it's as simple as that at core. Humans make a right complication out of the mating game. If you like someone, get on well with them, if between you you can make the necessary compromises, appreciate each other and each support the other unconditionally, you have a good relationship. Countless elderly who have been together for many years and are now inseparable show that. And 'twin flame' never entered their minds or the huge majority at least. Mentioning "twin flame" can foul things up. It comes with obligations and commitments most people aren't in a position to offer in the first few months of a 'romance'. . |
This whole "runner" and "chaser"- idiom is plain creepy.
It talks about harrasment and stalking and someone desperately trying to get away from it. Doesn't matter if you put the lable "twin flame" in front of it. It is exactly the same deal, twin lame, soul mate, karmic relationship or just two humans interacting with each other. Please stop looking at the lable and see the real thing underneath. |
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That's very true that folks have to realize that they cannot own another person! But I don't think that's the issue here. Most couples that I have spoken to have told me that one of them was not interested to start with, and that the other fought for them. And then the one that was not interested - ie the "runner" - realized that the other person - the "chaser" - loved them, and they grew to love them too. A lot of elders have also told me that, if a man has to fight for a woman, he will really appreciate her. For some reason this doesn't seem to be acceptable the other way round though (or maybe it is nowadays). But if I find that someone is running - I let them, maybe because it's not worth pursuing them, or maybe I have this traditional way of thinking that a man has to fight for a woman but the same cannot happen vice versa. A relationship like you describe, where two people like each other, respect and trust each other and make the necessary compromises is of course how it should be - but how does one achieve that if one of the two people doesn't somehow fight for the other - and if it's just by plucking up the courage to talk to the other person? I mean, two people don't just meet and suddenly say at the same time "I like you" and everything is hunky dory after that. What about trying to impress the other, which is part of courting - isn't that also fighting for the other person? It doesn't seem to go that way that two people just meet and decide simultaneously that they like each other. As for soulmates - all happily married people that I know and have known, especially older ones who have been married for many decades, say that they knew they had met their soulmate the moment they met their future partner. Not one of them said, oh never mind, if it wasn't him/her it would have been someone else. |
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I so hope you're able to get out of this impasse. It'll need a fair bit of contemplation but worth it. |
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Why please does coming across negative people make ME gullible? Everybody I know who isn't a negative person has experienced the same by the way. Bad exes, friends that one had to get rid of - gosh, we live in a narcissistic time, such people are everywhere. I don't associate with such people, but trusting someone new that I meet - well, trust needs to be earned. But if they prove themselves to be trustworthy - after a while I suppose one knows if a person is genuine or not. One cannot go through life never trusting anyone. What about family? |
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But sometimes people meet, find each other pleasant and don't worry too much about liking each other at first. I met my current bf a couple of years ago at an art show. We were viewing the same exhibit. He made a witty remark, I smiled; we talked a little about the show then stopped for a coffee at the canteen there. There was no magical spark, no "my God when our eyes locked", almost no talking about ourselves except via art and a brief enquiry into what each other did (for work) as it was obvious we were both artistic. But we got on pretty well. Neither of us had to fight for the other. Quote:
So....agreed! :smile: |
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