Lonely but surrounded by people

[Lightworker888]

I'm surrounded by friends and family whom I love and who love me back, I'm often busy doing things with them; I balance out my social life with the time I need to spend alone (I'm introverted but not shy). I love being alone with myself just as much as with other people... but all of a sudden in the past few weeks I've felt so lonely, even though I know I'm not alone. And even when I am alone I know I'm not "alone" :tongue:

I don't understand it because I've never experienced this before... I feel a bit like I've grown so much in the recent years, especially in the past few months, and I have so much to say and so much to ponder on and I'm buzzing with ideas! But the only person I know who I can have an enriching conversation with is my art teacher and he's 40 years older than me... This forum is great for discussions and interesting topics, and I really am grateful for it, but it's virtual which makes it hard to really connect with people like I want to.

Now that I think of it, while I may have grown a lot, I definitely established a fear of disappointing and hurting people at the same time... Which would make sense about why I push people away when they begin to show affection for me.

I'm just trying to figure out how stop feeling lonely when I'm surrounded by people, so if you've been through anything similar, I'd appreciate the help.

Much love and light,

L.

[Jatd]

I completely understand what you are saying, as I feel the same way.

I don't like being surrounded by alot of people, except for my family and even with them, sometimes I feel alone.

I don't know where the feeling came from either. Have I always felt this way and I am just now becoming aware of it? Did I try and cover it up in the past with drinking and drugs and sex etc... whatever would work without even realizing it.

I didn't become aware of the feeling until the year 2012 when I had my spiritual awakening. For about 6 months I was on a true high after being humbled and broken.

I feel like I am longing for something familiar, and yet I can't quite grasp it or find it. Something is missing in my life. But what? I have a good job. I have a wonderful loving boyfriend, three beautiful healthy children, I am healthy.

Do you feel as if you are missing something. I actually just joined a book study group (we are reading the book "everything belongs") and there are 5 of us, would you believe that ALL of us feel the same way? We all feel like misfits.
What can I do to help you? How can we get through this together?

[ocean breeze]

I get like that from time to time, not often though. I just let the feeling happen without resisting it. Even on the forums i sometimes feel out of place. It doesn't really bother me as much as it use to. I've grown so accustomed to being alone. I travel completely alone so i can be at a place like Walt Disney by myself and be perfectly fine.

Something is missing in my life. But what?

I get this feeling from time to time too.

[wolfgaze]

I'm just trying to figure out how stop feeling lonely when I'm surrounded by people, so if you've been through anything similar, I'd appreciate the help.


Hmmm, why did you have to ask such a difficult-to-answer question?

:tongue:

Well as you've already discovered - simply being surrounded by people doesn't always alleviate feelings of 'loneliness'. If you are surrounded by individuals who really don't connect with you and do not share a similar mindset as you nor a reasonably similar degree of awareness - well then you can still find yourself feeling 'alone'. Alone in your thoughs, feelings, emotions, and perceptions.

I think one of the reasons why individuals enjoy the company of others is because they get to be acknowledged in that type of setting and they have an opportunity to express themselves (their thoughts/feelings/emotions) that otherwise may not surface when one is experiencing solitude. However, if you find yourself surrounded by people whom you do not connect with and do not feel comfortable fully expressing yourself with and sharing your authentic self with - well then you can still find yourself feeling 'alone' because it's like the people around you are not seeing the 'real you' that you experience within. Does that make sense? You feel 'alone' because people are not seeing and acknowledging the 'you' that you've come to know from the inside.

So if in the company of certain individuals you find yourself feeling inhibited, restricted, withdrawn, closed off - I don't think there is any easy answer as to how to alter your current feelings of loneliness in that setting. However... : ) I suspect that how you find yourself reacting and feeling at this particular period of your life likely has more to do with the state of your internal development and the newfound ideas/thoughts/feelings emerging within your field of consciousness - than it has to do with the external circumstances themselves. It is natural to go through a transient period of 'separation' where it feels like you have distanced yourself from others and are 'cut off' from what the rest of the world is doing/thinking/feeling. It's like you've got 'inner work' to tend to, and withdrawing your conscious energy and attention/focus from external influences lends support to you tending to this 'work'.

The reason I say this is a 'transient' period of feeling separated/disconnected from others is because I found was that the internal growth that unfolded within me brought me to a state of wholeness, of acceptance, and of peace of mind. It influenced me to let go of the self-identifications which previously caused that sense of division, separateness, and difference between you and 'others'. It also served to open my awareness to the interconnectedness of all life and with all 'beings'. So now there is this subtle yet pervading sense of feeling connected with others (and everything) on a deeper level - which had not been present at an earlier time in my life. So now I can find myself in the company of others, and while on the surface we may not share much in common and they may not relate to my mindset and perceptual outlook - I can still feel comfortable in this setting and even find myself enjoying their company. It's now 'quiet' inside my head and there is a newfound sense of aliveness around me due to my awareness being synced with the present moment and what is unfolding around me.

So I guess what I'm trying to communicate here is that there is nothing 'wrong' with how you find yourself feeling - even if it seems uncomfortable right now. It's not a permanent condition and this feeling is likely exacerbated (intensified) due to where you are at with your conscious growth and development. Your internal state of being is going to be fluid for a period of time, things are in motion... You may be able to create some relief from the feelings of loneliness by finding constructive ways to express yourself and what you are experiencing within you in terms of your emerging thoughts/feelings/emotions. Whether it be through writing, through communicating with someone else that you relate to and connect with, through artistic expression, etc..

Hope this helps in some way....

~WOLF

[GRoyal]

Could it be that your lonely (empty) feeling is coming from that higher,infinite, eternal part of you ( your true self) calling to you. Both God and our higher selves communicate with us through our feelings, and thoughts. We are living in very dynamic times, and are entering a more intuitive phase in our existence. Many are feeling the energy shift, but don't understand, and are uncomfortable with how they are feeling. I would suggest that you try spending some alone time, and turn your attention inward, and begin a quiet conversation with the most beautiful person you will ever know, You. Best wishes

[Jatd]

I get like that from time to time, not often though. I just let the feeling happen without resisting it. Even on the forums i sometimes feel out of place. It doesn't really bother me as much as it use to. I've grown so accustomed to being alone. I travel completely alone so i can be at a place like Walt Disney by myself and be perfectly fine.



I get this feeling from time to time too.


Ocean, I actually prefer being alone most of the time too, people don't understand it, but sometimes when I am alone it is when I feel the least lonely, or maybe I am allowed to just seep into my loneliness and observe it better. I'm not quite sure. I do; however, know that the chaos of the world leaves me feeling empty. Like I am standing in a crowded room screaming and no one can hear me.

[Lightworker888]

Thank you everyone! All your responses were a great help to me, and I really appreciate it so much :hug3:

I think it's just something I'll have to be patient with, and let it do what it needs to do so I can grow and adjust. I do express myself in writing and in art all the time but even these forms of releasing feel lonely at the moment; I'm just very sad at the moment... but I feel like it's the end of something and that although it might take a long time, things are about to get better.

Again, thank you all for your kind words, I'm so grateful! It helped me realise that for this question more than any other, the answer will come from within :smile:

L.

[ocean breeze]

Ocean, I actually prefer being alone most of the time too, people don't understand it, but sometimes when I am alone it is when I feel the least lonely, or maybe I am allowed to just seep into my loneliness and observe it better. I'm not quite sure. I do; however, know that the chaos of the world leaves me feeling empty. Like I am standing in a crowded room screaming and no one can hear me.

Yeah sometimes its like i'm a ghost amongst the crowd. The feeling can be quite liberating though. The chaos of the world sometimes makes me want to escape into solitude but perhaps its my own chaos that i'm looking to escape from and i'm projecting it onto the world. I noticed you used the word "empty." I often relate that word with feeling helpless and vulnerable.

[Tullyquinn11]

I get how you feel, It can be a very overwhelming and daunting feeling.
Lightworker, do you have anyone in real life you can talk to about this stuff?

[Emmalevine]

Yes I used to feel like this ALL the time..

For me it was definitely a lack of connection, both to myself (being a bit cut off from my emotions) and from other people. I had friends at times in my life, but they didn't 'see' me for who I was. My family didn't either.

As I connected to myself more some of my friendships followed suit. For me the biggest change was to become more at peace with myself and release troubled emotions. This may not be the same for you though.

[Frederick33]

loneliness i some thing you can do and be
do you like it ? you say light worker fill your world with light
how could you than be lonely all will feel the light who are around you

loneliness can be disconnected to the light you are

or a way to attract attention that is not upfront
some ppl don't share them self out of fear

a fear for pain , the power is in the one that takes initiative

the one that waits for certainty will be alone til he changes

and takes control , unless you like to be alone

what is being together ? knowing some one ?

connections what do you do with your energy connections

are you free ? or play games for energy ? the latter always turns sour

[Lightworker888]

I get how you feel, It can be a very overwhelming and daunting feeling.
Lightworker, do you have anyone in real life you can talk to about this stuff?

I do, many actually. But this is one of those things where talking about it can only help to a certain extent, especially since I already know I have their support.

[Lightworker888]

loneliness i some thing you can do and be
do you like it ?
Well there's being alone, and then there's feeling lonely. The former I enjoy, and the latter not so much. Hence this post haha.


what is being together ? knowing some one ?

connections what do you do with your energy connections

are you free ? or play games for energy ? the latter always turns sour


Being together is far more than knowing someone, I could feel more "together" with someone I barely know than with someone I've known forever. It's about connecting with someone on a soul level, when you're both open to love and respect.

And yes, what you say about light is true but you know sometimes it's so hard to remember that you have a purpose. Some days I feel as though I'm so bright that I get paranoid people can "see" me glowing, and often I'll try dim it down a bit to lower the attention. And then other days I feel like I'll never shine again... But recently, regardless of whether I feel like I'm spreading light or not, I just feel lonely... like I want to go home, back where my soul belongs...

[Lightworker888]

I'm very sensitive to what others are feeling, and my father told me today that he's been feeling very lonely since he broke up with his girlfriend, I wonder is it possible that I am absorbing that?

[redstone]

you sound like you have an open attitude to life, maybe being around people has given you an insight that the desires and pursuits they are involved with end up in a barren place.....or they end up causing more trouble and mischief because they are avoiding the feeling of being alone also, and you can't share or follow that same experience with them.
it's not going to make you fit in neatly at all! so you are going to have this feeling more pronounced when there is a group of people who basically are cutting themselves off from each other with there own ambitions and desires but dressing it up respectably. and we want to fit in and be respectable lol!

it sounds like your near home already as you have not got fully involved or trapped in this mind circus yet.....you will feel a lot more connected with everything than being who you are already than being conscious about what job or comparing where you stand in life with everyone else.

that can be a soul destroyer....just my view anyway.

[redstone]

What I meant to say was you will feel a lot more connected being who you are already than being involved with something that you feel you can't get involved with.
experience and knowledge wether it's good or bad can be an isolating place also, it does not connect to the openness of now or presence.....in fact knowledge can make your life stale and arid.

[Light Seeker]

Isolation is a strange thing indeed , I have come across folk who languish in their own company alone ..while others who are apparently the very life and soul of any social setting feeling in private like an island alone.


I don't think you can really read too much into this type of situation because of the above stated principles.

You are indeed a whole and complete person alone (It is , so it would seem, the way we are made) I honestly think , we are each in our own way and at times subject to the disconnect.... May hap it is Natures way of saying that you are indeed a part of something huge and cosmic and yet on your own...

It is that old individuality preset that we all seem born with...There is much more to this as far as I have gathered , but I would not want to bore anyone...

Suffice to say the answer appears to lie within the oft quoted ;

"God made us in his /her image"

Another metaphor half hinged upon the truth that we collectively and as individuals are evidently creation in manifestation doing what creation does as creators.

[Greenslade]

I'm just trying to figure out how stop feeling lonely when I'm surrounded by people, so if you've been through anything similar, I'd appreciate the help.I've lived with this pretty much all of my Life and just when I thought it was all sorted out the feeling is back with a vengeance of late. A stranger in a strange land, on the planet but not of it. Outwardly always going through the motions, being with people but inside feeling so alien. Out of time, out of phase. Reading your words is like looking in a mirror.

I learned to be OK with my experiences - everything - in whatever shape or form they took. Often they weren't what I wanted them to be but in retrospect they were what I needed at the time. It was OK to feel alone and often it was 'for the best' because trying to cross that great divide only made it wider. It was not my Self. The Universe gives us what we need but not always what we want, and when all you have is yourself it's all you need.