MOLA
15-01-2016, 10:55 AM
Hello.
First of all, you may gather from the thread title that I've made life as my enemy. That is not true. What I simply mean by "me vs life" is how me and life have been rivals as of late and not really working together for some unknown reason.
Now to the main topic. The reason why I say that me and life have not been working together is because of two major reasons. These reasons are based on major decisions that I've made several months ago and a decision that I've made very recently. Please bear with me because I am indeed venting and flowing out my frustrations with life.
I have tried to remain strong, patient and positive as best I can. But even the strongest rock will break in time due to consistent pressure from currents (I apologize if I got this metaphor totally wrong :biggrin:
The first major decision that I've made:
The decision that I've made first happened in late 2015. I was living comfortably with my mother in the US. But due to domestic problems and the fact that I felt I was living inside of a cage, I made the decision to "take a vacation" to my home country. I deceived my mother by telling her I was going to take a vacation when in my mind, I wasn't sure that was the case. Maybe I wanted to be on my own?
Then it happened. From October 15th, 2015 I was on my own. I was living on my own. The only thing I had was my old home and everything else was gone. I made plans with my close friend as regards how I could get start-up capital to rebuild my life. I was excited!
Fast forward to January 2016 - that plan never came to fruition. Delay after delay, wait after wait, I find my self close to becoming crazy with waiting. I was definitely learning patience alright. (Oh, late November and early December, I met a woman whom I never expected to appear in my life :hug3: )
Decision #2 came off after I decided to ask my mom for help regarding money. I told her I was broke and I needed to borrow some money from her because I was waiting. She ONLY helped me when I told her that I was ready to give up and would go back to the US and live close to her again.
A few days later, my girlfriend would ask me about my life back in the US. She'd ask questions here and there and we'd talk about it for days. Then to my surprise, she's willing to drop plans of our supposed to be life here and was willing to the US and live with me there. I saw this as a sign and immediately I decided to come back.
My mother at first didn't know about my girlfriend wanting to move to the US with me. But she ask me if I told and asked my girlfriend about moving there. Coincidence? This wasn't like my mother. It was like a different person. Then I'd proceeded to get permission from my girlfriend's mother, which went very smoothly as opposed to my ex-girlfriend a year ago.
Now I'm ready to apply her visa and get everything started and the only obstacle here is yes..money. I'm supposed to wait until the end of the month from my apartment's management (they owe us for being late with finishing constructing the apartment). So MORE waiting.
Why can't everything go smoothly for once?
So there you go. When will this pain and torture end? I'm this close to becoming crazy with all this waiting. The more I wait, the more I waste time. The more I waste time, the more hopeless I become. As I'm writing this, I'm shedding tears because of how my life has been recently.
So cruel.
Thank you for reading :redface:
First of all, you may gather from the thread title that I've made life as my enemy. That is not true. What I simply mean by "me vs life" is how me and life have been rivals as of late and not really working together for some unknown reason.
Now to the main topic. The reason why I say that me and life have not been working together is because of two major reasons. These reasons are based on major decisions that I've made several months ago and a decision that I've made very recently. Please bear with me because I am indeed venting and flowing out my frustrations with life.
I have tried to remain strong, patient and positive as best I can. But even the strongest rock will break in time due to consistent pressure from currents (I apologize if I got this metaphor totally wrong :biggrin:
The first major decision that I've made:
The decision that I've made first happened in late 2015. I was living comfortably with my mother in the US. But due to domestic problems and the fact that I felt I was living inside of a cage, I made the decision to "take a vacation" to my home country. I deceived my mother by telling her I was going to take a vacation when in my mind, I wasn't sure that was the case. Maybe I wanted to be on my own?
Then it happened. From October 15th, 2015 I was on my own. I was living on my own. The only thing I had was my old home and everything else was gone. I made plans with my close friend as regards how I could get start-up capital to rebuild my life. I was excited!
Fast forward to January 2016 - that plan never came to fruition. Delay after delay, wait after wait, I find my self close to becoming crazy with waiting. I was definitely learning patience alright. (Oh, late November and early December, I met a woman whom I never expected to appear in my life :hug3: )
Decision #2 came off after I decided to ask my mom for help regarding money. I told her I was broke and I needed to borrow some money from her because I was waiting. She ONLY helped me when I told her that I was ready to give up and would go back to the US and live close to her again.
A few days later, my girlfriend would ask me about my life back in the US. She'd ask questions here and there and we'd talk about it for days. Then to my surprise, she's willing to drop plans of our supposed to be life here and was willing to the US and live with me there. I saw this as a sign and immediately I decided to come back.
My mother at first didn't know about my girlfriend wanting to move to the US with me. But she ask me if I told and asked my girlfriend about moving there. Coincidence? This wasn't like my mother. It was like a different person. Then I'd proceeded to get permission from my girlfriend's mother, which went very smoothly as opposed to my ex-girlfriend a year ago.
Now I'm ready to apply her visa and get everything started and the only obstacle here is yes..money. I'm supposed to wait until the end of the month from my apartment's management (they owe us for being late with finishing constructing the apartment). So MORE waiting.
Why can't everything go smoothly for once?
So there you go. When will this pain and torture end? I'm this close to becoming crazy with all this waiting. The more I wait, the more I waste time. The more I waste time, the more hopeless I become. As I'm writing this, I'm shedding tears because of how my life has been recently.
So cruel.
Thank you for reading :redface: