Healing the inner child

[PrincessZelda]

Hi,

first: I'm sorry if there are many other threads about this topic but I couldn't really find anything.

Recently, my dreams are somehow telling me that I have to change my behaviour because how I am living at the moment is just filling holes and not really doing anything helpful for my inner child. My inner child is laying in the icy cold and it seems like I'm just doing what is needed for it to stay in a functioning state to satisfy others. (I thought that I really changed something because that's what most of my life was like but well, it seems that I'm doing mock-work here)

So my question is: Where do I start?

I try to let go of old wounds when I meet them (sometimes through Ho'oponopono), I see people as mirrors, I try to have a regular meditation practice (but fall asleep very soon).

I really want to change my patterns but I also have lots of work (single parent, finishing nursing school in june) and don't know how and where to start. I guess I'm not loking hard and deep enough? It's kind of frustrating.

[Melahin]

Or maybe you are already doing a great job but it is just taking time... and the dreams are simply a reminder of where you need to move in this process of healing.

[Visitor]

Hello PrincessZelda.

The best advice I received for healing my inner child was to become my own parent. That is, to become the loving parent my inner child needs to get healed by.

[Skybird]

You could ask Archangel Raphael for healing on your Inner Child whilst you sleep at night..
Also be kind to yourself, and I realise you will be busy with parenting and studying, but try to do the odd little thing you enjoy doing.
Even if its getting on a swing beside your child/children :))

[Clover]

I princess Zelda ( I love your user name :smile: )

You finishing nursing school in June is really a great accomplishment, you should be very proud of that, congrats. As far as what your seeking, maybe look into books on affirmations, basically it's building a thought pattern on positive thinking. A spiritual or dream journal is also very helpful. Abraham Hicks seems to be a popular author for members on here. I have this very charming small book titled, "Affirmations for the inner child" by Rokelle Lerner. I adore this book, very simple but speaks to the inner child. :smile:

I use to be very busy that I would be exhausted to even look at a book, so if finding time to read a book is too much at the moment, a Pinterest account is helpful. They are like vision boards, you can collect tons of positive spiritual tid bits. Affirmation snip its too. It's very efficient in my opinion.

[lemex]

What I see as a (living/understandable) example of what attachment feels like. Important reveal to see, it's just a human thing and memory of. What I have found helpful deals with forgiveness of. :hug3: For a long time I didn't realize this. Permission to to.

[PrincessZelda]

Thank you very much for the suggestions!

I found some helpful bits in my Barbara Brennan and Louise Hay books. The other affirmation book is on my wish list and I want to order the Abraham one for a long time (began to read it on my reader but it's broken).

I surfed a bit on Pinterest yesterday and wow, there is so much! Thank you for that one!

I also ordered "Women who run with the wolves" yesterday. It was suggested to me as a great book concerning the inner child and showing you that scary mirror.

I'm going to make an effort and let go, be nice to myself (I often pad my head already but could do it more) and ask my guides to help me. BUT yesterday I wanted to do an inner child meditation and wow it was like my whole being opposed to it. I felt like running away and screaming NOOOO. It was a bit scary but I guess that shows somehow that I'm ready and really beginning to reach my inner child but SO afraid of all those wounds and afraid to feel that pain again? What do you think?

[Belle]

Make friends with your inner child! Sounds bizarre but when I first did that, it was stand off hostility. But you need to learn to parent the child within - see what happens when you approach it. Just imagine yourself in a childhood place that you can remember and look out for your child playing and see what happens when you, as an adult , approaches the child. Take your time and be kind to yourself.

[Visitor]

As Belle suggested.

Imagine yourself having a child, as your inner child is. What would you do to care and nurture your child?
Whatever comes to mind - do it.

[Dwerg]

Be careful not to end up in a circle of dead end thoughts, it's very easy to do so when trying to heal wounds. I can very much relate to the feeling of just existing to satisfy others, but this is nothing but a trap. You start with satisfying yourself the way you have satisfied others, pay attention to yourself and pay attention to what makes you feel better, even if just slightly. If you keep up doing that then all the slightly more satisfying things add up to make a huge positive impact, but it will take some work, practice and patience.

It's acceptable to take care of oneself and take responsibility for personal happiness. I'm personally against satisfying or helping others when indeed I'm the one in perhaps even more need. But I don't expect others to satisfy me, I help myself as I would help another. When I'm not in need I have a greater capacity to help others, like I'm doing now. It will also improve the quality of help you can provide for others, because you had a problem and no longer is meaning you must know the solution.

Regarding the inner child I can recommend that when you meditate, focus on memory and remembering good childhood experiences. Re-live those moments to find the feelings in it. Those are the feelings you probably miss, but you know the memories are still buried somewhere in your mind. When you feel what you felt then you can begin to trace the cause that made you lose them. The cause may be painful to realize, but the negativity of it can be countered with the positive strength of good memories. When you do this, try to really remember who you were as a child, you don't have to describe it. Just review the visual memory and the associated emotions, the strongest memories are also those containing the strongest feelings. It should be too hard to dig it up.

If you're like I was you're probably feeling gray, plain and empty. Like the spark that once was you is just gone, there's no creativity, excitement or arousing feelings present. As I found and recovered it so can you, it's still in you, but it's hidden under the fog. The fog is unimportant, look for any sign of light in it and nail your attention to it.

[Gem]

I think this is an interesting read on the subject. http://terebess.hu/zen/mesterek/Thich%20Nhat%20Hanh%20-%20Reconciliation.pdf

[HalfGirl]

PrincessZelda,

Changing patterns is not easy, even though I am sure you are looking hard and deep enough. You may want to take it step by step and try to change things 1 by 1, not the entire pattern at once, you will get overwhelmed by tying to do so and eventually give up. Make small changes, cut things up in pieces and do it slowly. Think of 1 thing you really want to change and work on that for as long as it takes, 1 month, 2 months…… And once you have worked on that and you have the feeling that that is going well, you can think of somethings else you want to change.

What helped me a lot is writing. I started writing about childhood issues, how I felt about them, how I look at things now etc.. I did that in the form of letters to a dear friend of fine, like I was talking to him. It works great for me. It is something that I wanted to pick up again this year, did not do much writing last year, since I was so busy at work.

Also, you are not just here to satisfy others. You are the most important person for yourself. You need to learn to love yourself and have compassion with yourself!