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Baybee123
29-11-2015, 10:15 PM
Suddenly I've had a realisation that I've always craved for love and affection. I don't remember my mum or dad ever hugging me, kissing me or saying they love me. My dad was always busy and my mum was almost like a hitler to me. I was extremely scared of her hence could never express my emotions.
My husband is exactly the same. He is very cold and doesn't know how to express his emotions.
My ex (I believe he is my twinflame) was the only one who I expressed my feelings and I was a completely different person when I was with him. I felt very comfortable and as if in my skin when with him. And he was the same very expressive.
Now I'm wondering why did I choose my parents and if I had found someone who would express his love, why did I leave him to marry someone who is just like my parents? Am I still learning something here?

I've been asking this question a lot but struggling to find an answer.
Oh, to add I have a baby and since having home feel like I've found someone to express my love.
What does all this teach me? I'm clueless. Any ideas? Thank you :)

Mr Interesting
29-11-2015, 10:56 PM
I came back to the forums after my normal morning perusal actually looking for the thread, which I'm just now reminded might be in meditation, that was about how enlightenment might tend to bring laziness... but then I saw this and I just wanna kinda say take it easy, have a rest and enjoy baby!

Realisations and insights, for me anyways, are kinda, and have become, little excuses for holidays... not work, heaven forbid, but a time to just let the floodgates find their own new river course... or they may even go back to the old one.'Cause floods and things are like that and they leave a bit of a mess but even before you try and tidy up you just gotta let the waters do their thing. Go easy and let it find it's own way...

Shinsoo
29-11-2015, 10:58 PM
Perhaps you wanted to remember or learn how it feels to be surrounded by people unwilling/unable to express love.

The TF is there I think, to support you when you felt you could survive with the fact that your parents could not express their feelings. To remind you of how love really feels, and that it is available to you, even if it may not be in the way you expect.

The fact you went with a man who is like your parents, suggests to me, you are still trying to learn some sort of lesson in breaking cycles/chains.

Native spirit
29-11-2015, 11:15 PM
I am a medium and I have great difficulty accepting that we choose our parents,i would never in a million years have choosen mine,i was bought up in a household that had favourites,my youngest sister was the favourite no one could deny that and my brother was the blue eyed boy that could do no wrong.my eldest sister was accepted more than me,
my mother hated me and I hated her,the things that I had said to me was unbelievable.so I have great difficulty in accepting our parents.
in fact I don't believe it we are all here to learn lessons what lessons we learn are of our own choosing,

Namaste

declan
30-11-2015, 04:40 AM
hi baybee 123.I don,t believe we choose our parents, so that we can learn a lesson about life.I believe we will have a karmic connection to our parents, that has many entanglements.The thing is , you are here and now and all that we experience in life no matter what the source can lead us to a higher realisation.Pain is a motivator.Understanding brings peace.Being present is the end of it all.

keokutah
30-11-2015, 07:19 AM
I believe we choose our parent's. I'm adopted and I have so much proof that it was meant to be. And we are different, and they are imperfect but that still doesn't change the fact that it was meant to be.

I don't believe we choose to make it easy on ourselves. There would be no point to life if we had no reason to grow.

I believe some of us are meant to be Light Beacons. We wake up before everyone else and when the time comes we will be able to help facilitate their ascension process to make it easier on them.
It can be lonely because the groups of people we are assigned to guide are not at the same level as us.

We are amongst low frequency, athiestic families that have not yet waken up, but in time, they will. Mine have started to already.
I know what they are going through now because I went through it a long time ago, therefore I can help them out and be supportive.

keokutah
30-11-2015, 07:28 AM
Why do we choose the same kinds of people? Some people blame it on the law of attraction, you attract what you are.

But it could be psychological, the same reason why a sexual predator chooses the same kind of victim that shares similar personality traits and similar appearance.

Why do people always say that a girl will always grow up to find a husband who is exactly like her father? I think the theory is that we we seek the traits our parent's had in our potential partners.

Shivani Devi
30-11-2015, 07:47 AM
I think it's because it makes us question the reason for our existence from a very early age, leading us down the spiritual path.

My parents were critical and abusive too...they never hugged me or showed any love or affection, which made me ask the universe "why was I even born?"

The answer I got was 'to love and serve God".

So, those who do ill-will to us, only serve to bring us ever closer to Him/Her/It.

Greenslade
30-11-2015, 09:06 AM
What does all this teach me? I'm clueless. Any ideas? Thank you :)It's not always about teaching and lessons, often it's more about the experience and this is what confuses the issue. People look for lessons where there are none. Sometimes we want to experience 'themes', so perhaps in a Past Life you experienced feeling very Loved and in this one you wanted to experience the opposite of that. The other possibility is that you have a karmic agreement made in Spirit to feel unloved so you can empathise and connect with someone who will come into your Life in the future - or maybe already be here.

Inika
30-11-2015, 09:31 AM
Suddenly I've had a realisation that I've always craved for love and affection. I don't remember my mum or dad ever hugging me, kissing me or saying they love me. My dad was always busy and my mum was almost like a hitler to me. I was extremely scared of her hence could never express my emotions.
My husband is exactly the same. He is very cold and doesn't know how to express his emotions.
My ex (I believe he is my twinflame) was the only one who I expressed my feelings and I was a completely different person when I was with him. I felt very comfortable and as if in my skin when with him. And he was the same very expressive.
Now I'm wondering why did I choose my parents and if I had found someone who would express his love, why did I leave him to marry someone who is just like my parents? Am I still learning something here?

I've been asking this question a lot but struggling to find an answer.
Oh, to add I have a baby and since having home feel like I've found someone to express my love.
What does all this teach me? I'm clueless. Any ideas? Thank you :)

I don't have one of these high intellectual responses for you but what I do have is my take on it even though it's a lesson for you, yourself to figure out.
If it were me I'd see it as obvious as having to exercise uncondtional love, patience, tolerance and forgiveness. You may have experiences like this until you learn the lesson of forgiveness, unconditional love and the others I mentioned.
Like seeing you say you never received affection. How has that left you feeling and how has it impacted your life. Those feelings are your cues to figure out the lesson. Say you feel anger about it - then learn forgiveness. It's you that holds it all within you which is more damaging than these people in your life.

knightofalbion
30-11-2015, 10:05 AM
None of us know you personally so no-one can make any precise insight.

But generally speaking, maybe going without love, teaches you the value of love, and then knowing the value of love, you become full of love ....
It's the way the Universal Mind works.

Also, there is the battle between the higher and lower selves. As the higher self starts to assert itself, the lower self pulls back. Hence, earthly desires, temptation, call it what you will ...

Baybee123
30-11-2015, 12:15 PM
Since childhood I've craved for affection and when I met my Tf my whole world felt complete. But I think I've closed my heart off completely after I broke up with my Tf. I am working on opening on my heart but it's very very hard. Having a baby has somewhat helped me.
But if I had already experienced being loved (by my Tf) why did I decide to leave him and marry someone who is like my parents?
Since getting married i have slowly become like my husband, I hardly express my love. I remember when we just met I was my normal self, very expressive. But in the past 6 years I've become very cold and have shut my heart. However on a deeper level I know I'm not showing who I am. I am who I used to be when I was with my Tf. I don't know why and how I have hidden myself. It seems like I am not myself:(.

Baybee123
30-11-2015, 12:16 PM
I feel like I'm true me when I'm with my baby though... I have so much love for him and I express too.. Wonder how I keep my heart open to others too like I do when with my son.

yeshee camar
30-11-2015, 02:03 PM
i sharge to say, that,
does benevere to feel like a baby, be come you be ok, dizzys making sure.

'leave them, from yours promise survey shill back back player higher power position ontop of your wanting steadys
butleaves them on hand of yours duron calling high peace.'

'dont shut you, be a comet' -get your environment overworked harmony like drop the cwazy hurty to get and start on with fidel stuff to work on.

knightofalbion
30-11-2015, 04:55 PM
If you learn the intended lesson, then you have done well. But it doesn't end there. On the contrary, that is just the beginning.
How you manifest this love in your day to day life is for you to discern.

The only advice I could give you is to consciously think before speaking and acting. In time this would become habit with no forethought necessary.

We are all human. Humans trying to rise above ourselves, but human nevertheless. So never stop striving, but don't be too hard on yourself.

Thunder Bow
30-11-2015, 05:12 PM
We do not choose our parents, let alone what animal we are going to be. The marriage bed has 4 people in it.

yeshee camar
30-11-2015, 05:32 PM
i relish top down that transmission into peaces of mind -jobs to yours and forget the rascal info flopping on.

bless you,-

knightofalbion
30-11-2015, 05:42 PM
We do choose our parents.

They gave us life and they raised us, and whether they were wonderful parents or lousy parents, they helped make us who we are.

Thunder Bow
30-11-2015, 05:49 PM
We do choose our parents.

They gave us life and they raised us, and whether they were wonderful parents or lousy parents, they helped make us who we are.

I Agree with the 2nd sentence, but not the 1st.

yeshee camar
30-11-2015, 08:15 PM
nobody's choosing nothing on who pop mom sister brother, made up to be. us on fam is all the same but gor ena customised.

Greenslade
30-11-2015, 08:43 PM
I feel like I'm true me when I'm with my baby though... I have so much love for him and I express too.. There's your answer, now all of your Love is focussed on your baby and would never have happened had you not gone through your previous experiences. Everything in our Lives lead up to the point of where we are, right here right now.

Lucyan28
30-11-2015, 10:57 PM
Perhaps this is the lesson:

"Self-Love should blossom even in the winter" =)

An environment without tenderness will teach you how precioussss the tendernes is, in that way you will treasure it like the wonderful thing it is once you are able to experience it, in your example from your TF and from your own self.

It is like being thirsty, as soon as you taste water it is delicious !