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SleepyWarrior
25-11-2015, 04:45 PM
So I am, what they'd say "awake". I no longer buy into the "normal" way of life. TV, media, working a job just for money to spend on stuff you dont need, consumerism, empty relationships. All that. I dont care for anything anymore that isnt meaningful, thought provoking and enriching. I despise shallow conversations, I dont care what happened on the TV and I dont care about pleasing or impressing people for superficial reasons. All I want to do is be alone, listen to music, go out by myself, persue interests and read and look around the internet. I'm expected to do all this stupid stuff people my age(young adults) are supposed to do but I hate it. I see through so much. I dont care about education(I teach myself), I dont want friends(rare to find people like me and I love solitude) and I hate that i'm going to have to get a job(I'm very shy and quite intelligent so easily bored. Plus I dont want to get up and go somewhere I dont want to everyday. People who arent "awake" dont understand so they think theres somethings wrong. I have a tendency towards depression and they think this is a part of it. I hate being disturbed and i'm so tired of putting energy into a way of life I dont care for. I dont even like talking to my family because the things they talk about seem so trivial and often negative and I dont like having to act interested, otherwise I seem rude. I want a more genuine life. I feel empty where I am now, and like i'm just being dragged along. What should I do? I cant stand how bleak this is, yet as i'm young, I dont know what options I have. Sorry if I sound whiney, I just need to get this off my chest. I list all the good things in my life often to stay happy and I have to believe theres meaning and good in the world, amongst all the quick fixes and mindlessness, otherwise I just feel terrible about being on Earth and it makes me consider ending things. So its really important that I realise the good things, I just cant keep being on such a "low vibe" path as "awakened" person.

sky
25-11-2015, 04:58 PM
It sounds like you are depressed, I have never heard of someone who says they are awakened suffering like you seem to be.

Miss Hepburn
25-11-2015, 05:24 PM
What a pleasure to read your new statement of purpose or change!
Congratulations...yes...start a new way of functioning and seeing things!
Yay! Way to go!

:hug:

wolfgaze
25-11-2015, 05:33 PM
I can understand where these feelings are coming from...

:redface:

It sounds like you are depressed, I have never heard of someone who says they are awakened suffering like you seem to be.

I think it may be more accurate to say that OP is going through a stage of the awakening process....

Frederick33
25-11-2015, 05:34 PM
I think you should go do what you like and love :-)

let go of that you have let go of and end all connections to it

connections that are not what you don't like don't love and are not exciting

or even better apply love

much can also be different if you apply love to things they become nice and exciting

or apply love to people they become nice and interesting

I do all this all the time :-)

works so well

there are no boring people any more

every one i meet just looks exciting or when we talk is interesting !

a random person on the street is interesting !

apply love, delete all concepts that are not love

they will go away from you

the very same boring person changes , I had that happen a lot :-)

I call it creating my reality !!!!

Miss Hepburn
25-11-2015, 05:43 PM
... OP is going through a stage of the awakening process.... Oh yeah!!!!!! :hug2:

Frederick33
25-11-2015, 05:46 PM
part two

now how do you apply love :-)

what is love ? and where do you get it ?

every one knows love are butterflies in your belly

you can catch some butter flies and eat them ?

years ago you could buy love at Woolworths for 10 and 6 a bag

but in the 60s last was sold out and these days no one wants it any more

so manufacture has come to a halt

no problem you can find love , no not in your self many looked in there

self and not found it , no you find love anywhere and when you do

it magically ends up inside yourself !

find it anywhere ? yes by seeing and hearing and talking only loving things

that makes it happen , an easy starter is by seeing and hearing and talking

about only nice things and good things , if that starts to end up inside you

you are on the right track . its so easy :-)

funny how many do just the opposite , that can all end up in you to but who

would want that ,,

a fun posting hope you like it lol

sky
25-11-2015, 05:47 PM
I can understand where these feelings are coming from...

:redface:



I think it may be more accurate to say that OP is going through a stage of the awakening process....


Sounds a very sad and miserable situation to me. I was full of joy and elation to realize that everything had changed for the better, it was beautiful and I wanted to share it with others, but I surpose it is different for some, mybe.

Thunder Bow
25-11-2015, 05:52 PM
Sleepy Warrior, It is time to wake up and be your own Warrior, and take risks. You do not have to buy into the stuff on TV or other short sighted ways. Seek your own adventure. It is adventure you want. Get out there and just do it. Here is a short video that can get you started on your adventure:

http://www.cavalia.net/en/odysseo/videos#Olmb4BuuVm6mvpER.97

Odysseo

Get Ready For The Ride Of You Life

SleepyWarrior
25-11-2015, 06:15 PM
Thanks everyone for your replies :) I have to say that at this time I am definitely not depressed. I love nature and mysteries, animals, discussions about philosophy and I enjoy the little things about my day. I've worked hard to be where I am now so for people to think im depressed is... a little disheartening, but I think I have a better understanding of myself so :)

I guess what i'm basically trying to say is that I want to cut out the stuff I no longer care for and live according to my new way of seeing. Because doing otherwise is tiiiiiiiiiring...

wolfgaze
25-11-2015, 06:16 PM
Sounds a very sad and miserable situation to me. I was full of joy and elation to realize that everything had changed for the better, it was beautiful and I wanted to share it with others, but I surpose it is different for some, mybe.

The entire process is not marked by 'joy & elation'... There are lows too... Familiar with the dark night of the soul conceptualization? The experience of one's 'old self' dying and the purging of one's most sensitive emotional energy is no walk in the park - you know?

What the OP is describing does not sound abnormal to me, but rather a phase she must pass through...

SleepyWarrior
25-11-2015, 06:39 PM
I'm happy you are so understanding, wolfgaze :) You seem to know exactly what i'm talking about :)

Jatd
25-11-2015, 06:47 PM
So I am, what they'd say "awake". I no longer buy into the "normal" way of life. TV, media, working a job just for money to spend on stuff you dont need, consumerism, empty relationships. All that. I dont care for anything anymore that isnt meaningful, thought provoking and enriching. I despise shallow conversations, I dont care what happened on the TV and I dont care about pleasing or impressing people for superficial reasons. All I want to do is be alone, listen to music, go out by myself, persue interests and read and look around the internet. I'm expected to do all this stupid stuff people my age(young adults) are supposed to do but I hate it. I see through so much. I dont care about education(I teach myself), I dont want friends(rare to find people like me and I love solitude) and I hate that i'm going to have to get a job(I'm very shy and quite intelligent so easily bored. Plus I dont want to get up and go somewhere I dont want to everyday. People who arent "awake" dont understand so they think theres somethings wrong. I have a tendency towards depression and they think this is a part of it. I hate being disturbed and i'm so tired of putting energy into a way of life I dont care for. I dont even like talking to my family because the things they talk about seem so trivial and often negative and I dont like having to act interested, otherwise I seem rude. I want a more genuine life. I feel empty where I am now, and like i'm just being dragged along. What should I do? I cant stand how bleak this is, yet as i'm young, I dont know what options I have. Sorry if I sound whiney, I just need to get this off my chest. I list all the good things in my life often to stay happy and I have to believe theres meaning and good in the world, amongst all the quick fixes and mindlessness, otherwise I just feel terrible about being on Earth and it makes me consider ending things. So its really important that I realise the good things, I just cant keep being on such a "low vibe" path as "awakened" person.

I don't think you're depressed. I feel the same way as you sometimes, and then I get these rushing reminders of how beautiful life is and how much love there IS. Its not easy being awake and living in this world today. I find that the one thing that keeps me happy, is giving. Giving to those in need. In need of love, attention, time.. whatever I can share of mine.

sky
25-11-2015, 07:57 PM
The entire process is not marked by 'joy & elation'... There are lows too... Familiar with the dark night of the soul conceptualization? The experience of one's 'old self' dying and the purging of one's most sensitive emotional energy is no walk in the park - you know?

What the OP is describing does not sound abnormal to me, but rather a phase she must pass through...


Ok, joy and elation was my experience but obviously not everyones :smile:

Thunder Bow
25-11-2015, 08:07 PM
I do not think you are depressed. You are smart. Live your new Way Of Seeing, and get ready for the ride of your life. :biggrin:

SleepyWarrior
25-11-2015, 08:15 PM
Haha thanks Thunder Bow :)
Another thing though, is that I know a lot of people would say to just go out and live their life with their new way of seeing and seek out a new adventure but I don't really know how. I don't know how to get out of this "old world" path, if you understand what I mean. I always imagine someone going off on a great journey around the world when I think of things like that, but that's not really what I want. I'm young, live with my parents and don't have any friends(which isn't a problem for me). I don't see any other way to go except, well, getting a job.

I also wanted to add this quote by Eckhart Tolle that fits my situation to a T. https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/1c/f0/e2/1cf0e23de984320813f02718fa3f31ed.jpg

wolfgaze
25-11-2015, 09:32 PM
That's a great quote and quite accurate... I am a big fan of his writing....

youngers1810
26-11-2015, 04:48 AM
I've become awakened more sensitive to energy I feel exactly like sleepy warrior does find every day things mundane.
I think I'm still in the dark soul stage and my ego is doing its best to stop me from awakening fully.
I hope the dark soul doesn't last much longer it's been five years since my awakening .
and I still feel I don't belong on earth .

SleepyWarrior
26-11-2015, 11:21 AM
Hey youngers, ive definitely become more sensitive to energy too! Its good to know others feel how I do, though its not a good place to be. I wonder how we're supposed to get out of this stage... any tips anyone?

Mr Interesting
26-11-2015, 06:12 PM
When I was much, much younger I used to hang out with the local gang type motorcycle chaps and I learned later that they'd given me a nickname 'The man they couldn't hang' and it's kinda interesting that that nickname was actually quite telling in the sense that no matter how much trouble I've gotten into I always manage to land on my feet.

So this might say, or be in favour of that argument, that destiny or fate or whatever is always goin' to bring you what ever it is going to bring you because your way of being is already pretty much what it's goin' to be. I'm actually neither for or against that particular set of ideas but it was interesting that this bunch of naughty boys actually spotted and joked about what could be an essential part of me.

And my dad always said get a trade and I suppose that though I tried to do it his way that basically fell apart but what I did take from that was tools and skills, get tools and get skills, because we all need something to not only fall back on but also a bunch of abilities we can adapt to whatever purposes might come along.

Like your life is your palette, where you are and what's around you is what you can use but it doesn't mean you gotta use it the way everyone else might. I reckon this is a big mistake lot's of people make which is thinking the things around them are wrong when they most definitely aren't... because they're only things. It's like the enemy mentality which basically is one has to define a wrong to know the impetus to create a right... so what is around you and what you have access to is everything you might need except possibly for the perspective to see it that way.

Silver
26-11-2015, 06:18 PM
So I am, what they'd say "awake". I no longer buy into the "normal" way of life. TV, media, working a job just for money to spend on stuff you dont need, consumerism, empty relationships. All that. I dont care for anything anymore that isnt meaningful, thought provoking and enriching. I despise shallow conversations, I dont care what happened on the TV and I dont care about pleasing or impressing people for superficial reasons. All I want to do is be alone, listen to music, go out by myself, persue interests and read and look around the internet. I'm expected to do all this stupid stuff people my age(young adults) are supposed to do but I hate it. I see through so much. I dont care about education(I teach myself), I dont want friends(rare to find people like me and I love solitude) and I hate that i'm going to have to get a job(I'm very shy and quite intelligent so easily bored. Plus I dont want to get up and go somewhere I dont want to everyday. People who arent "awake" dont understand so they think theres somethings wrong. I have a tendency towards depression and they think this is a part of it. I hate being disturbed and i'm so tired of putting energy into a way of life I dont care for. I dont even like talking to my family because the things they talk about seem so trivial and often negative and I dont like having to act interested, otherwise I seem rude. I want a more genuine life. I feel empty where I am now, and like i'm just being dragged along. What should I do? I cant stand how bleak this is, yet as i'm young, I dont know what options I have. Sorry if I sound whiney, I just need to get this off my chest. I list all the good things in my life often to stay happy and I have to believe theres meaning and good in the world, amongst all the quick fixes and mindlessness, otherwise I just feel terrible about being on Earth and it makes me consider ending things. So its really important that I realise the good things, I just cant keep being on such a "low vibe" path as "awakened" person.

I can relate to most everything you said - but I'm not 'young' like you. I do think you understand that as you mature, your outlook will change about most things, but subtly so because this is your personality showing thorugh - which I think is a good thing. I haven't read anything but your first post so I'm not going on anything anybody else said - yet. To be 'awake' is to be open to what may come to be, and living in the here and now. It takes a while to be at home in the here and now, incidentally.
:hug3:

SleepyWarrior
27-11-2015, 01:50 AM
Thanks everyone for your replies. Its good to know i'm not alone.

I've just been looking around the internet and YouTube about the dark night of the soul and its definitely what i'm going through. A lot of people say to just look after yourself and wait it out but I just cant. I have things im expected to do. Drive, go to work, socialise, do all this old world stuff but I just cannot do it yet I see no alternative. It makes me feel awful about the future to think theres so little to do other than working and having a family. I feel like I have so little energy and interest in anything too. Everything seems so meaningless.

wolfgaze
27-11-2015, 01:56 AM
Thanks everyone for your replies. Its good to know i'm not alone.

I've just been looking around the internet and YouTube about the dark night of the soul and its definitely what i'm going through. A lot of people say to just look after yourself and wait it out but I just cant. I have things im expected to do. Drive, go to work, socialise, do all this old world stuff but I just cannot do it yet I see no alternative. It makes me feel awful about the future to think theres so little to do other than working and having a family. I feel like I have so little energy and interest in anything too. Everything seems so meaningless.

Eckhart Tolle has an excellent write-up on the dark night of the soul conceptualization... Did you come across it? If not, google or yahoo search 'eckhart tolle dark night of the soul' and click on the link that takes you to a newsletter (interview) from his website...

I had planned on responding to an earlier post of yours in this thread either tonight or tomorrow - I will do so...

engellstein
27-11-2015, 03:09 AM
You need to figure out what you want to do with your life. Given that you're young, that can be problematic because you lack experience to know what you like, but you're not totally adrift. Everyone has certain gifts that they excel at more than others.

If you haven't figured out what they are, that would be a good place to start. It will help you understand what direction to go in life. If you love alone time you will probably want to filter out sales and marketing for potential jobs. And so forth.

Also, what do you want to accomplish in life? What do you feel drawn towards? Instead of looking at all the stuff around you that you don't want to do, focus on what feels good to you and repurpose your time and resources towards that end. Remember, when you're doing what you love you'll never work a day in your life.

Another thing is to realize that rough times are a part of the evolving process. You discover what you want, what you are made of, what it is that makes you tick, all through the process of rising out of your problems. You can also advance in life when everything is smooth and easy, but there's no comparison to the advancement you make when things aren't going just so.

One good maxim to live by is Don't worry about what other people are doing. Focus on what you want to do and let everyone else focus on what they want to do. There's more than enough room in the world for everyone to do what they want.

People like you and me don't gravitate towards material and mundane, but that doesn't mean it's wrong or a waste of time. If you're lashing out against it, it means that you haven't found what you want and are frustrated that others have.

In The Hero's Journey it talks about the wasteland, a period of time when the hero of the story is lost and defeated. It's in this place that he finds the very thing he needs to make his story a success. It's similar to the dark night of the soul. Just see this as a part of the journey and a time that will help you uncover what you need to fulfill your purpose.

Greenslade
27-11-2015, 10:56 AM
So I am, what they'd say "awake".
The question is, what are you 'awake' to?

Regardless of how you perceive the world around you, even in the people you consider to be 'unawakened', there is something that you can never get away from. Each and every person in this world is Spirit in human form - or however you want to term that. They are just like you. This is the experience they have chosen to 'learn their lessons' or experience for their own Spiritual development just the same as you have. While your family are talking trivial things it's you that has judged them as trivial, perhaps they think that any form of communication is good for family bonding. So while there is no separation you are creating separation from your family - and the same goes for your friends. "Low vibe path?" What makes it a low vibe path, that you don't see that this is the existence they have chosen and there's no real benefit? Of course that's the kind of dumb thing Spirit would do, there's nothing to be gained from a 'low vibe' existence.

'Awakening' is a process that never ends, when you 'awaken' to a small part of the Universe then you find there is more to 'awaken' to. Step out of your mindset because that's just what it is and if you continue this path it will only become worse. It's happened so many times before with others. You as Spirit chose this existence, you chose to be here and if you want something more thought provoking and enriching ask yourself "What are the reasons I am here, if I chose this existence as Spirit what am I gaining from it?"

peteyzen
27-11-2015, 11:04 AM
one of things that happens on the spiritual journey, as we start to work on ourselves and do spiritual practices like meditation prayer etc., is that a part of us tries to destroy our practice. This part is what we call the ego, the sense of `I`. Its not a conscious thing, but goes on unconsciously, it kicks back at us, doing anything it can to upset our balance. My advice to you is to treat this episode as if this is whats happening. Imagine for a time that something is trying to deliberately unbalance you, to stop you going to work to make you not appreciate your family and see this as a part of your journey, something to `defeat`. Because that`s whats happening.
Be strong, keep working and get through it. If it gets too tough, take a step off the spiritual path for a short while, then start again later.

Miss Hepburn
27-11-2015, 01:26 PM
I have things im expected to do.
Drive, go to work, socialise, do all this
old world stuff but I just cannot do it yet, I see no alternative.
It makes me feel awful about the future to think there's so little to do other than working and having a family.
I feel like I have so little energy and interest in anything too.
Everything seems so meaningless. Oh...well...now that sounds like the classic list for clinical depression.
This is much more descriptive to me.
Sorry to say...maybe someone has already said it.

If you were to take St.John's Wort, over the counter, Standardized only, for just over 3 weeks and you suddenly
felt like your old self...then you'd know it was just a chemical imbalance.

Haha, it's like taking Advil for a sore knee...if it gets better...you
know there was swelling.

Not a popular suggestion for some people, sorry....but, I've been there.
On the 20-21st day all the symptoms you described disappeared...
my usual enthusiasm for life and joy and creativity came back. :hug3:

Thunder Bow
27-11-2015, 03:26 PM
Haha thanks Thunder Bow :)
Another thing though, is that I know a lot of people would say to just go out and live their life with their new way of seeing and seek out a new adventure but I don't really know how. I don't know how to get out of this "old world" path, if you understand what I mean. I always imagine someone going off on a great journey around the world when I think of things like that, but that's not really what I want. I'm young, live with my parents and don't have any friends(which isn't a problem for me). I don't see any other way to go except, well, getting a job.

I also wanted to add this quote by Eckhart Tolle that fits my situation to a T. https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/1c/f0/e2/1cf0e23de984320813f02718fa3f31ed.jpg

Adventure can be just outside your front door. You can leave the old world path, just by changing how you feel about yourself, and letting go of negativity about yourself and others. How old are you?

A job can be an adventure, depending on where you go.

SleepyWarrior
27-11-2015, 05:33 PM
Seriously feeling quite hopeless now.

Surely just because I have different interests and values than other people, and dont want to get up and go to a job, doesnt mean i'm depressed?

I'm so tired of that word being in my life. I have tried EVERYTHING and to be honest, it really makes me feel quite hopeless that it still seems like I still have depression. I'm even taking antidepressants now as a last resort. And no way am I going to keep switching drugs and doses. I dont want to be on medication, but it felt like I either take medication or get no help at all because I wont help myself by taking medication.

And today I think i've realised i'm not as "awake" as I thought. Note the quotation marks I put around that. I think i've just been judgemental of others and looking down on them.

Do I think of suicide? Yes. Often. Especially now I realise how awful i've been. I have no idea how i'm supposed to live on this planet.

Thunder Bow
27-11-2015, 05:41 PM
I now have to amend my previous posts. Yes, you do have depression. Best to see a Therapist, if you are already not seeing one.

Silver
27-11-2015, 06:03 PM
I now have to amend my previous posts. Yes, you do have depression. Best to see a Therapist, if you are already not seeing one.

But only at the strongish suggestion(s) of others who respond to the thread.

I think it's just as dangerous to 'diagnose' someone on a forum as it is to ignore one's true feelings. We humans are so suggestible, that's why I'm uncomfortable when people do that on forums.

I say just let a person wine or complain - perhaps they just need that sounding board, to echo their feelings and thoughts off of.