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Kashii49829
13-11-2015, 08:43 PM
Lately as a result of feeling stuff quieting down, nightmares becoming less frequent and a overall sense of peace, I have been able to notice many more happenings in my being as a result of finding peace again..

The most notable one which has been happening for a long time is a feeling of my awareness or consciousness being split between two places.. At work and during the daytime for what I think is no reason relating to body or physical health.. I've been unable to focus on what I'm doing and like my consciousness is trying to be pulled elsewhere without my consent and I have fears it might be something malevolent but... The other thing is the possibility that this is a symptom of awakening further somehow..

Among this, I've been feeling aspects of dysphoria in my body despite not having any gender related dysphoria issues, dreams of being in places which seem much more real than most people would say.. Most people would say 'people often dream of really crazy things' thinking dreams are just a product of the mind.. And sometimes they are, but what I've been seeing for a long time is either parallel realities in which I'm participating in or higher frequency realms in which idealized images of someone are a part of reality.

I've had dreams of video games which I've wanted to happen in this reality happening in my dreams wherever I am, playing video games with lets players as if they know me personally, interacting with fictional characters as if they know me personally too.. I'm not sure if this is just a product of lucid dreaming but it doesn't feel that way at all..

And with that as well as the dysphoria in my physical body.. I get this nagging suspicion some aspect of myself is trying to show me something but I've been afraid to pursue it on the slight possibility that something might be still tethered to me which would pull my consciousness somewhere scary or where I could get hurt..

Also the sensation of feeling like someone or something is playing a part in me finding this newfound peace as well as stuff sorting itself out, a distinct feeling of spirits who are giving me wisdom to help me.. I feel like there is something more than what it appears to be or more than what people would see it is..

I usually base my judgements on these 'feelings' of how things feel, what something is and isn't regarding why, and usually they are correct and my struggle for much of my practice is honoring what these feelings tell me due to self esteem issues.

dryad
15-11-2015, 06:00 PM
It's time to start trusting yourself kashii. Your connection to the higher realms explains most of that. You can project the image you choose in those realms so idealized images are certainly possible and the dysphoria is probabaly the clash between your awareness of your soul form while there and your physical form while here.

Find a way to anchor yourself to the physical. Possibly music. That will make you more stable and stop the split consciousness. You don't want to lose the ability to access those levels though. Many people spend years trying to find a way back into it. So practice shifting between the two deliberately.