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naturesflow
01-11-2015, 06:39 PM
I didn't realize black and white thinking, actually has another name called splitting. I learned something new today.

So I got to reading up on this style of processing, to take in this view a little more.
In black and white thinking, they say that they don't handle grey areas very well, which creates much confusion for them where language is very abstract or ambiguous. So in reflection of this, I had the realization that sometimes these kind of thinkers might require me to be openly more honest about my feelings (directly) and also be aware that, those grey areas can be confusing or vague to someone who cannot see past their own black and white thinking, when I might see the grey as something important, or part of their view.

I often hear people bring these kind of people down, in that they are to blame for themselves in this way, which is sad. And often they will say things like, oh "I cant relate to them". Or it is pointless to push through with them when they have closed minds one way or the other, their is no in between, with so many rules governing their thinking process, so where do you go with them?

It would be easy to give up on people like this, especially if you do not wish to understand them deeper in the reflections they offer.

From a personal viewpoint of experience, I recall a few black and white thinkers come down hard on me with their hard/fast rules and projection of those grey areas at me as a source of their own confusion. I realize now of course, that it was a bonus in light of how it all felt initially. Those hidden feelings I was holding deep down in me in the face of this, needed to be lifted out of me and released to clear out and understand them and myself in this way as one source. I believe that was some of my more deeper letting go feelings, which I didn't like, but it was important all the same to honour it all in myself.

Through letting go of another in this way, I naturally come to understand them where they couldn't understand me. And in this way I have no reason to not connect, have an aversion in myself to a person in this way. I understand and try to relate to them where they are and how they are as they are, more clear and open in myself.

Clover
01-11-2015, 07:40 PM
The first thing I thought about this when I read your post was someone who lacks emotional intelligence. They simply have the incapability to be empathetic, and I am going to guess people like this have had tragic events in childhood or someone who has experienced a lot of pain. I have ran into people like this from time to time,especially in the work place.

I am wondering if there is more an issue of control/controlling. Either way, they do challenge us, and for the less advanced folks that haven't caught up in the journey, they can strengthen and toughen you up too.Everyone plays a role in our spiritual growth, even if they are in what I call thick as brick and brash

naturesflow
01-11-2015, 07:58 PM
[QUOTE=Clover]The first thing I thought about this when I read your post was someone who lacks emotional intelligence. They simply have the incapability to be empathetic, and I am going to guess people like this have had tragic events in childhood or someone who has experienced a lot of pain. I have ran into people like this from time to time,especially in the work place.

Yes this is important to note. Empathy can bridge confusion. If it is unawakened, not connecting in someone, the confusion could create any number of behaviours related to disconnection between parties, rather than connecting and building understanding.

I am wondering if there is more an issue of control/controlling. Either way, they do challenge us, and for the less advanced folks that haven't caught up in the journey, they can strengthen and toughen you up too.Everyone plays a role in our spiritual growth, even if they are in what I call thick as brick and brash

Yes I have seen it come at me as a form of control when the mind has been *made up*. That was that hard fast rule approach I mentioned in my previous post I was on the receiving end of. In some ways there was no way in to bridge understanding in this experience while I was holding on in myself, so being personally responsible for how I feel is all I can do in these kind of situations. Open my mind to them as they are and deepen this way.
Let go myself.

Yes I like to self reflect through everything even when its nothing, its something for me to grow in myself even then.

Belle
01-11-2015, 08:29 PM
I'm the sort that can see all angles, all shades in between. I don't think it makes me more empathic, just more complicated. It's one of the reasons I would make a rubbish leader, present me with a fact - and I will take it in. Then present me with a counter-argument and I will take that in. I struggle with opinions or beliefs. And that leads to frustration.

I've always admired those who can cut through a load of different arguments and pull out the salient facts and draw together the most important points. My current boss is like that. He's brilliant in meetings, rubbish in day to day nuances.

Shinsoo
02-11-2015, 12:17 AM
I'm the sort that can see all angles, all shades in between. I don't think it makes me more empathic, just more complicated. It's one of the reasons I would make a rubbish leader, present me with a fact - and I will take it in. Then present me with a counter-argument and I will take that in. I struggle with opinions or beliefs. And that leads to frustration.

I've always admired those who can cut through a load of different arguments and pull out the salient facts and draw together the most important points. My current boss is like that. He's brilliant in meetings, rubbish in day to day nuances.

You just described me to a T lol. Maybe later I'll grow into more of a leader but for now...I have a dangerously absorbent mind. It's like that of a toddler's, very few filters.

It's gotten me into trouble at times, but it's countered by an amazing ability to somehow find people that are for the most part, right about what they know and are able to help me find Truth.

I was born with a strong intuitive ability about people. (Most I've run into that I have a fondness for have been very aware and advanced, and I think are happy to talk to me as I'm so accepting of their advanced way of thinking even if I can't yet understand it as well as their awareness) but with information itself, if it is just presented it neutrally, I have a hard time deciphering which is true and which isn't.

I find black and white thinkers a bit frustrating at times, as their mind doesn't involve any type of variables, but I can appreciate the clarity of their messages at times. How many times has one needed someone to break things down into a simpler viewpoint to reach a decision?

Example:
Person G: My bf is treating me like ****.
Person B&W: Talk to him.
Person G: I have...he is not listening.
Person B&W: Leave him.

Now Person B&W may not know the whole story, but chances are a black and white thinker can see how sad person G is and wants to help...because person B&W knows that being treated like **** is wrong.

naturesflow
02-11-2015, 01:18 AM
I'm the sort that can see all angles, all shades in between. I don't think it makes me more empathic, just more complicated. It's one of the reasons I would make a rubbish leader, present me with a fact - and I will take it in. Then present me with a counter-argument and I will take that in. I struggle with opinions or beliefs. And that leads to frustration.

I get this. The more you know the more complicated it gets, but maybe there is a simplified way out of this one? I guess now I am learning to be ok with opinions and beliefs. It is the nature of the world in in its many ways of itself. So maybe working with rather than against is something we can learn through people like your boss.

I've always admired those who can cut through a load of different arguments and pull out the salient facts and draw together the most important points. My current boss is like that. He's brilliant in meetings, rubbish in day to day nuances.

Yeah me too. They kind of remind me of the ones that can quiet a room down when its in an uproar, quiet confidently without too much fuss, bring things back into perspective.

Rah nam
02-11-2015, 02:49 AM
Black and white thinking to me is simply an indicator of the development state a particular entity is in.

naturesflow
02-11-2015, 03:02 AM
Black and white thinking to me is simply an indicator of the development state a particular entity is in.

What if they don't change? Is it always about development?
Maybe then we wouldn't see it as being about developmental but rather what is for some, as they are, as a unique piece, in the greater process of the world.

Thunder Bow
02-11-2015, 05:44 PM
Black and White thinking involves Judgement rather than understanding. Black and White thinkers are usually Judgmental people, with limited knowledge.

ocean breeze
03-11-2015, 12:14 AM
I don't think in black, white, or gray but rather blue, yellow, green, orange, red, purple, and pink. :biggrin:

Mr Interesting
03-11-2015, 05:59 PM
I have just gotten back home from running a workshop, which in reflection of this post, was very much about teaching a way to be grey to people who were at best verging on mostly grey to others who were definitely black and white and towards the end of the workshop myself and the woman who hosted me discussed the approach I used, of course without realising I was, and whether it might not have been better to use the black and white, this is how it's done... do this, do it the way I've done it way, and came to the conclusion that it really needs to be a combination of the two.

I realised fairly quickly I was using a personality approach, which got complicated because I had to keep jumping from personality to personality, but in that I was kinda able to see peoples strengths in the black and white sense but push each of them into grey being backed by a confidence they didn't actually know they had.

The hardest part for me then was realising that what I'd been called on to teach had become entirely instinctual in me and that teaching isn't at all about being able to do something but being able to translate the instinctual into instructions to find instinctual within each persons personality type.

It was hard work but in the end even those who had kind of failed, in that they had basically not been open at all to the approach offered and had kept stringently to the notions of how they had brought with them, and the hard decision for me, the black and white I had to encompass and take on, was going back over peoples work and destroying that which was just too completely black and white but leaving that which was grey so that when they came back to view what had been achieved overall that even they would see the connection between the grey which had been there speaking softly to them, but they had spoken above, and the grey I had ferreted out with my hard black and white decisions... one hopes anyways.

Rokon
03-11-2015, 06:18 PM
Black and white thinkers, or personalities? I can relate more to characterizing a personality as black and white.

Firm / flexible
Resolved / uncertain
Cardinal / mutable
Confident / dubious

yeshee camar
29-11-2015, 12:00 AM
does write we dont just shew on mr pep - with an invincible fense of tear the breakers cause minon is what be taught of the linin-g on to do it.--

'will do / /will be'

remind them colors got proof