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annabelle239
23-10-2015, 07:57 AM
This makes no sense but lately for the past few months I've been very paranoid of dying. It started once I moved to the awful apartment i've just left. I have had some dreams about dying since Spring but I have my whole life and usually can trace why it happened based on something that recently happened in my life and how it was pieced together in the dream. I had a dream I was strangled about a week ago.I lost a loved one I was very close to in 2014 but I wasn't afraid of dying then. I kind of even wanted to. Then,I started to heal my grief and felt very at peace with death as my spiritual knowledge expanded from my grief. I started to move forward with my life and even have fun again. Now,ever since August,I've been very afraid of death. I even feel very ashamed about it.It doesn't make sense.

I had one fearful incident happen in spring that because I already had some anxiety issues really tripped me up and has made me more phobic. And,since around that time,I believe someone or maybe more then one person has been affecting me with their negative energy towards me psychically. I think my aura has holes in it and I started working on healing that with visualizing violet light. I know this sounds like a lot going on but ALSO,at the same time around spring,I started doing spiritual work too so there has been a lot of transformation and expansion in some ways going on.

I am just wondering what the heck is really going on? I feel the incident in spring that scared me is connected to the negative energy being sent to me unintentionally . I could be wrong. I know I keep re-writing this in different questions on this site but I am just really trying to analyze what is going on with me. I have gotten better since some things,though. Clarity has returned a good amount since cleansing my energy of negative energy (though I had felt I needed to keep doing it) and as soon as I left the apartment. But,it's still there a little bit. I am just feeling really guilty and ashamed of how I feel. Maybe I just need to be a little more patient. I've just felt unusually unlike myself for months now. My best friend said I don't even look the same and that when I walk I avoid eye contact so much like I'm afraid to look at anyone.

IamPoltergeist
23-10-2015, 08:54 AM
The only way you can ever die in any form, is to believe you can die. One can live for any amount of time not using the concept of death in their belief system.

Thunder Bow
23-10-2015, 08:59 AM
This seems like something you need to talk with a counselor about. An internet forum has its limitations.

hilikus
02-11-2015, 03:34 AM
I think Alan Watts has a talk about the fear of death and the shame connected to that fear as well, which might be helpful. I too have felt the fear of death, and also very ashamed. In my experience, there's two levels of this fear, so I'm not sure which one you're working with, but I would say, just sitting with the fear, allowing it to grow as big as it wants, sitting with the shame, could be helpful over time.

This has helped me with some of my fears in the past anyway, best of luck.