View Full Version : Born Leader?
TonySG
10-10-2015, 01:39 AM
Hi
This might sound a little ego centric but I just cant seem to fit in wherever I go. I have gone through alot of psychological healing, emotional healing and energetic healing however I just cant seem to take directions from others. I really try to make myself shrink in the presence of others but my natural position feels like I should be running the show. I just want to 'fit in' but I just dont seem able to.
I think I need to give up on life
Sevenofthrees
10-10-2015, 01:48 AM
Why do you need to fit in? You're You because you're You. I'm sure there is a reason. Just fit in with yourself before you worry about what others may think. Life is beautiful and sacred, if you only believed. ^_^ And that Life is inside.
Gracey
10-10-2015, 01:54 AM
I wouldn't think there would be a rush to fit in anywhere. You should never shrink from the fire. Be who you are and those with your vibe will be your tribe.
naturesflow
10-10-2015, 03:39 AM
Hi
This might sound a little ego centric but I just cant seem to fit in wherever I go. I have gone through alot of psychological healing, emotional healing and energetic healing however I just cant seem to take directions from others. I really try to make myself shrink in the presence of others but my natural position feels like I should be running the show. I just want to 'fit in' but I just dont seem able to.
I think I need to give up on life
Perhaps in the need to run things, and being directed by others, you have a space in their that feels and that is ok. Giving up can be viewed more as letting go to let in what you are seeking. That space you don't fit is in you to build as a space that fits.
Sometimes the leader in self that naturally arises and wants to take charge of things is really about taking charge of your life and what you want to be doing. To get there just being open to listening, opening to feel and let go, often lets the new space awaken, inclusive of what others are showing you in all those experiences that you are a part of in your life.
You cant force yourself to hide, if your meant to shine in some way, but you can slow down and listen to all and find ways where you can build this in yourself where it matches you in every way of your life and self. You probably have a lot to offer if you can find some grounding amidst it all .
RedEmbers
10-10-2015, 08:05 AM
a few insightful people over the course of my lifetime have told me that I am a "natural leader" (It took me a long time to believe it).
In some ways I resonate with what they said. I loved to lead in school and others seemed to respond appreciatively to have someone else make the decisions... BUT... I remember reading somewhere once that leaders often first need to learn how to be led. In my own mind I came to understand this as meaning that if we are open to being led and thus are able to learn effective ways of leading and ineffective ways of leading it aids in us becoming leaders ourselves.
I had a lot of issues with the way our society is set up and was very angry and rebellious against these ideas as a young adult but have recently found that I have been more willing to be guided by a good leader... I think that this is part of learning how to become a good leader myself.
I know there is a saying that "Leaders are born, not made"... BUT (lol another but) I also believe that typically any talent is usually 1% gifted and 99% a practiced art...
I am not sure if these beliefs of mine have been influenced by common social ideas of leadership or if these ideas are part of an inner understanding.
LadyMay
10-10-2015, 08:26 AM
I'm with RedEmbers, to first lead you need to know how to follow. But it doesn't mean you are a 'blind follower'.... I feel a leader is someone who follows what they feel is right to them rather than just following the status quo. And anyone who joins them in that can be considered 'followers', but not followers of the leader, but followers of that energy. In that sense the leader is a follower too.... the leader is following the impulse of energy towards a certain direction, and makes that path clear and easily available for others, who then also follow. If that makes sense?
The act of 'leading' though is often approached negatively, in that it is abused as a way to gain power. I have experienced this too. I have also been told over and over again my life I am a natural leader. Once my ego took that title to make itself feel strengthened... and did not mind hurting others in the process to feel that false sense of relief over self-perceived inadequacies. But I got over that phase very fast, unfortunately many people in society live this way without knowing any different.
But then there are great leaders, who are completely different, and who lead by example and love and compassion rather than some kind of 'authority' or force. I truly feel the best leaders are also the best followers. It's HARD to follow a beaten off track that at first everyone calls you crazy for! That's what leaders have to do! Follow their higher self in the utmost faith... not easy, definitely not easy. That's true strength, in my opinion.
Never a leader nor a follower be.
Thunder Bow
10-10-2015, 03:40 PM
Hi
This might sound a little ego centric but I just cant seem to fit in wherever I go. I have gone through alot of psychological healing, emotional healing and energetic healing however I just cant seem to take directions from others. I really try to make myself shrink in the presence of others but my natural position feels like I should be running the show. I just want to 'fit in' but I just dont seem able to.
I think I need to give up on life
Your Healing put you in that position. You have more confidence in yourself now. Thus when it come to your life, you should be running the show. You can ask for advice, but you have the final say so on it. You no longer have the need just to fit in all the time, you feel you no longer have the need to do that.
Tanemon
10-10-2015, 05:20 PM
This might sound a little ego centric but I just cant seem to fit in wherever I go. I have gone through alot of psychological healing, emotional healing and energetic healing however I just cant seem to take directions from others. I really try to make myself shrink in the presence of others but my natural position feels like I should be running the show. I just want to 'fit in' but I just dont seem able to.
Possibly some of your other posts on SF have made this clear - and, if so, I'm not aware of those. So I'll ask: Where is it that you don't feel you are fitting in? Your work life? Your free-time social life?
If it's your work life... Do you feel your present position doesn't allow you to lead? Can you see some sort of advancement opportunities that would give you a leadership position (complete with its responsibilities)? If you can see that possibility, do you have any sense what is hindering you from advancing?
Some people don't like working for others. You might be like that. So what about starting your own business, and hiring others as employees?
Tony, if I might say so, both your avatar/icon and your "signature" at the bottom of your posts convey almost a fierce (combative?) quality. But what's considered good leadership in most of modern society is gentle leadership. I wouldn't worry so much about "ego". It's not an egotistical quality to have gentle, if firm, confidence.
Lorelyen
10-10-2015, 06:45 PM
While at uni I was drawn into a "leadership course". It had a small relevance to semiotics. I don't believe that being a leader can be taught or learned but some of the ideas were interesting.
On day one I had to imagine that I was far superiorly evolved than anyone else there. My task was to work out what to do to bring them all up to speed.
On day two everyone else was far ahead of me. My task then was to work out what I could do to get myself up to the level of those around me.
The results were a story in itself but if taken seriously does prompt one to think.
There was also a thing called a T-group (which is about improving interpersonal relations). A controversial topic was thrown in for discussion that in itself was irrelevant - the aim was getting people to interact, no emotions/emotional outbursts barred. I got done for undermining the experiment itself by criticising the group leader and telling people not to get het-up because it was only the session it was.
They say us Leos are leaders by divine right, not by choice! Maybe there's something in that.
:smile:
MIND POWER
13-10-2015, 07:43 PM
Everybody is born a leader of themselves (That's the only person who you really should want to lead.......yourself primarily! if you can't do that and your asking questions constantly on who you are..? or what you should do.? sit back, re-evaluate the situation, on whether you are leading yourself)....society is always pulling us all over the show.
So yes, we are all born leaders of ourselves...
But it is ether beaten out of us.......or we are basically conditioned to follow somebody of some sort of status in this game. But there are those few who for whatever reason, seem to be more innately immune to being a individual who just follows because its a majority decision. You see once you can lead yourself, and you have that comfort and confidence in your own actions. People will pick up on this, and guess what..? you don't have to instruct , or go to a workshop to become a leader or whatever! anybody can read a book, gather academic information they are just words with zero energy.
Sometimes you need to get kinetic, and apply yourself in some situations.
And once you have the comfort and confidence in your own actions, with a serious element of certainty!
Some people will just step in line, and no question will be asked! or they might want to listen to you! this is not being bullish or authoritarian. Because those people who look to listen, are acting on their own decisions (Because they want to, and it feels good)....
There may be some area's where maybe i have reached this level with some people in the situation where i was working or whatever. Well i like the feeling of somebody (Wanting) to do something for me or themselves (Because they like me, and they want to)......you see it just feels better this way, its a more effective way of leading or just being in general life.
And of course, i am doing it for you aswell! these are the intentions you want to emit! Forget about me.....this about you, you are very special..haha!
A great leader makes people feel good about themselves.
And i believe everybody has the ability to reach this level in some profession or area in their life/passion. It does not have to be in a job situation, it can just be with yourself as a person, like i stated before LEADING yourself......people intuitively pick up on this kind of aura.
Everybody has it in some area!
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