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View Full Version : Figured out what was wrong, cautiously optimistic


Kashii49829
08-10-2015, 09:36 PM
I finally figured out what was wrong and why everything was messy involving my sight and senses, I thought I'd share on this forum as well as apologize to anyone I have troubled.. And though I have found a major reason as to all the random stuff I've been seeing, I am seeing differences in frequency as to what I'm seeing corresponding to what it is and if it has a consciousness as well as identity..

I'll explain.. As a kid I existed mainly in my imaginative/creative realm, it started with imaginary friends as well as creating landscapes in my mind for things I wanted to experience regarding random fiction things. At some point during my imagination period, I think I frequency started rising, and it rose to the point I think that I would be able to see the truth of stuff like lucid dreaming and astral projection.. But it requires abandoning or transferring all that I created, and realizing some manner of that stuff may be left behind.. Being not so bright back then, I decided not to do the frequency 'transfer' of sorts.

Regardless if the images of fictional characters were real or not, the entire time I imagined them, I felt some sort of quirk in me that somehow, somewhere.. Characters and fictional realms weren't just products of peoples imagination, though I didn't exactly know where they could have come from or the explanation as to their possible existence, I had this undeniable feeling they were real somewhere.. And that brought even more comfort to me somehow, as the finite aspects I was 'trapped' in made me feel sad and lonely despite having a very kind family. All I ever wanted was friends and my mind was the only place to have them because either due to some sort of superiority or already inherent higher frequency, I felt like everyone at my middle school were morons or incredibly patience trying.

In the midst of my depression and the thick of my imaginary realm somehow being forced to mesh with my higher frequency, I believe at some point I was being forcibly detached with what I was seeing, regardless if the entities there were real or not.. As my frequency rose, the images grew even more fake by the day.. Being a child, I forgot most details of what made be feel scared, so I probably forgot the thing which would allow me to transfer to a threshold of a higher frequency spoken about above. I think this was the first time I established constructs to make things with a fake glamour to appear real enough to satisfy me, which inevitably would lead to me getting lost in my imaginary/minds realm in current reality.

At some point, the traumatic event happen in which some manner of trigger in the physical was used for entry into my actual astral body, which I think I had only heard of the concept of astral projection and lucid dreaming at the time, as well as the concept of chakras and crystal healing.. There were still a lot of missing details, but I gravitated onto the idea of astral projection to see my Great Grandma again and apologize for being stuck in depression and not giving our last visit to her my full attention.

Because I barely even knew the basics of astral bodies and chakras, only my childs perception of what they were and not my actual senses, I suppose this is where I began digging my own grave as a result of my mistakes.. And with the happening of the nightmares supposedly coming from 'nowhere', I didn't know why it was happening to me, I could only huddle up scared and hope it would stop.

I remember seeking spiritual help at this place before the trauma happened, but even back then it seemed that I couldn't find the help to explain what was happening to me because I was simultaneously in my imaginary realm, minds realm and possibly the condition of my astral body at the same time, and the mixed signals made things really messy and extremely difficult to explain what I was seeing to anyone.

The nightmares lasted 2-3 years, with the 3rd year resulting in some manner of final decay of my sanity and a desire to just give up and die.. Somehow, I managed to live past that desire, albeit a husk of myself.. It was in my senior year of high school I met someone who I truly loved and helped me heal part of the way with her help, but her realizing I was possibly too deep in my mess that she couldn't help me, and that I was dragging her into depression again.. So she left, leaving me as a husk of my former self yet again. We were together for maybe a few months shy of a year, my longest relationship ever.

I found myself scrambling for help among many spiritual chatrooms and this forum trying to find help and some manner of a explanation because the entire period of nightmares seemed to mesh together what I was experiencing, devoid of dates and times, just a endless period of inner hell. I could barely remember what I already knew and didn't know between each nightmare.. I felt like any manner of happiness didn't stay during the nightmares, each night I would have to return to my mental prison without even knowing if it was my own head or a actual entity responsible because of me constantly second guessing myself. I guess deep at my core, I knew something had to be responsible for this as some part of me knew, as much as I barely knew myself, I knew I wouldn't be capable of such violent, disturbing and dark nightmares for this current lifetime.

To sum up now, I have made a major progression in realizing what my mind was trying to show be by constantly pulling me back into my mind to realize that it was stuff as a kid I left undone.. But at the same time I found it cruel because how was I supposed to remember something that minute from when I was young and already dealing with multiple mental and paranormal troubles?

None the less, I'm at least glad I realized it, and I still have suspicions that something conscious and has a identity of its own, and is its own soul is responsible for the nightmares/psychic attack, though I am entirely guilty of many rookie mistakes as a result of how things meshed together and not having a teacher.. I don't entirely regret what happened, as long as I can use this realization to help fully realize my own power so I can carry out goals of my own importance and to try and help the world with any manner of skills I somehow developed during this mess.

Electric_Dreams
09-10-2015, 01:04 PM
Hi Kashii��
I'm glad you you have moved forward and have come to some understanding of what you've gone through.
You have a wonderful gift with your imagination. You could achieve so much in your life with visualisation methods using this gift, and you should be able to learn how to travel the astral planes, lucid dream, even heal yourself if you focus your imagination in any spiritual exercise you wish.
If you ever want to chat or would like someone to work with you in any spiritual endeavour, feel free to message me...Im pretty much a jack of all trades spiritual though not quite a master at anything in particular just yet lol...but happy to help in any way I can��